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Old 02-23-2014, 10:47 AM   #41
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What I was unprepared for was the powerful feelings of sadness I had after turning it down, even though I think it was the right decision. Has anyone else experienced this after making a major life decision, even when you were convinced you were doing the right thing?
Yes, I've felt the same way. I'm actually going through that right now to a certain degree. A couple of weeks ago I declined an offer for another position that would have meant more money, probably a good chunk. I decided to pass on the offer because I am happy in my current position and I'm unsure I want the extra work that could potentially disrupt work/life balance. But it is hard. That opportunity might still be available and even though I declined it, I still debate if I should step up and take it. It would mean more money and I think it would be manageable. Plus, change is always fun, at least for a little while. Can you tell that I'm still conflicted?

I also see opportunities to work/live abroad, which would be really tempting. Fortunately for us right now, we wouldn't make the move because of our children. The honest truth though, is even if it was just my wife and me, we wouldn't take the opportunity just because the financial incentive here is greater. If it was a financial wash and we weren't tied down to our current location by our kids, then maybe we would consider it, but there's no way I would delay FIRE (or FI) at this point in order for a change. I'd rather wait and visit as a tourist.
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Old 02-23-2014, 12:53 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by chris2008 View Post
I know the feeling of regret after a decision is taken.
What helps: to realize that the same (or even more) feeling of regret would be there if I had taken a different decision.
Proposal: focus on making the most of the 18 month till FI and on planning a great time in UK without work thereafter.
Thanks, Chris, I think this is good advice. I'm sure if I had accepted the job I'd be feeling panic over the financial losses I'd be taking along with regret for losing my home and the chance to FIRE next year.

Even before this opportunity came up I had been trying to make my present life more satisfying and more like the life I envision in retirement. When I first moved to New Mexico, I was in awe of its natural beauty and fascinated by the local culture and spent a lot of time hiking and exploring. Eight years later I think I had come to take it for granted and was spending my weekends watching Netflix instead of exploring the area I live in. I've started consciously seeking out stimulation like weekend trips and visiting museums in Santa Fe that help satisfy my travel bug and desire for adventure until FIRE.

I can also use the next 18 months to build up a cash buffer that will enable a nice long-term visit to Europe free of any work obligations.

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Originally Posted by kiki View Post
Yes, I've felt the same way. I'm actually going through that right now to a certain degree. A couple of weeks ago I declined an offer for another position that would have meant more money, probably a good chunk. I decided to pass on the offer because I am happy in my current position and I'm unsure I want the extra work that could potentially disrupt work/life balance. But it is hard. That opportunity might still be available and even though I declined it, I still debate if I should step up and take it. It would mean more money and I think it would be manageable. Plus, change is always fun, at least for a little while. Can you tell that I'm still conflicted?

I also see opportunities to work/live abroad, which would be really tempting. Fortunately for us right now, we wouldn't make the move because of our children. The honest truth though, is even if it was just my wife and me, we wouldn't take the opportunity just because the financial incentive here is greater. If it was a financial wash and we weren't tied down to our current location by our kids, then maybe we would consider it, but there's no way I would delay FIRE (or FI) at this point in order for a change. I'd rather wait and visit as a tourist.
Thanks, good to know others are in the same boat. I read one blog post on decision-making that helped me. The suggestion was to formulate a concrete vision for your life and to make all major decisions in reference to that vision. The vision I have for my life is to be a creative writer and artist who is engaged in lifelong learning and traveling the world. What made my decision so difficult was that the London job fulfilled part of that vision, the part that wants to travel the world and experience other cultures deeply. However, it conflicted with the FIRE portion of my vision, which ultimately was much more important and won out.
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Old 02-23-2014, 03:52 PM   #43
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The vision I have for my life is to be a creative writer and artist who is engaged in lifelong learning and traveling the world.
That sounds exciting. Our vision is along the same lines. The planning is half the fun. Even if we don't end up leading that kind of life knowing we can if we choose to is very liberating.
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Old 02-23-2014, 04:00 PM   #44
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That sounds exciting. Our vision is along the same lines. The planning is half the fun. Even if we don't end up leading that kind of life knowing we can if we choose to is very liberating.
Very cool; I look forward to following your adventures. It's so great to meet kindred spirits on this site who support each other, particularly when you have unconventional goals that most of mainstream society has trouble relating to.
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Old 02-23-2014, 05:20 PM   #45
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I did not think London was all that great.
The food SUCKS!!!
What? They couldn't boil a steak to your liking? At least try a good curried vindaloo and a warm lager! London tradition, that!
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