A couple were discussing holiday tips for the people who cut their hair, cleaned their house, walked their dog. the list grew longer, and finally it came down to the mailman. the husband, a real cheapskate, had had enough and said
"**** the mailman, give him 2 bucks".
the next day the mailman rang the doorbell with a package. wife answered the door in a negligee and proceeded to invite him in and cook him breakfast. then she crooked her finger and invited him upstairs. yadda yadda yadda...when it was all over, she handed the mailman 2 crisp dollar bills. the guy left shaking his head.
that night at dinner, the husband asked the wife if she took care of all the tips. she went down the list, and finally got to the mailman. she told him the whole story. he got angrier and angrier...and she stammered... "oh, oh, honey, i did exactly what you said to do...but breakfast was my idea."