Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 08:57 AM   #1
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
sick friend

A very dear friend of mine is fighting a battle with prostrate cancer. He retired early at age 54 and he had been having the time of his life until a couple of years back when all this cancer stuff came to light. This has really knocked him on his rear and he's got a real battle on his hands. This cancer thing has also affected me a lot and I find myself thinking about how really precious life is and that there is a lot more to life then working 60-70 hours a week. As I read a lot of these topics and comments I get the sense that the "health" issue is the one biggie that can change everything. I don't want to over react and do things that don't make sense but I'm thinking more and more that I need to enjoy life while my health is excellent and there is still a spring in my step. I'm comming up on 50 and if I get my finances in order I think I can make it work money wise. If I work till I'm sick or dead what the heck was it all for? I would love to read any comments from folks who have been down this same path.


__________________

__________________
spark0506 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 09:42 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
youbet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 9,965
Re: sick friend

Hi Spark0506.....

Your question is pretty much what this board is all about......accumulating and managing financial resources so you may spend your time as your time.* For most of us, this means spending time outside of the traditional workplace, but there are a million variations.

Search the site, read and enjoy.* It's great!*
__________________

__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
youbet is online now   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 10:02 AM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Jay_Gatsby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,719
Re: sick friend

Very sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like he did the right thing in retiring early, only to get screwed out of his just reward.
__________________
He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it . . . It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. -- The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jay_Gatsby is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 10:13 AM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Coach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 1,127
Re: sick friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by spark0506
... I don't want to over react and do things that don't make sense but I'm thinking more and more that I need to enjoy life while my health is excellent and there is still a spring in my step. I'm comming up on 50 and if I get my finances in order I think I can make it work money wise. If I work till I'm sick or dead what the heck was it all for? I would love to read any comments from folks who have been down this same path.
Spark, I think you are right. We're generally pretty conservative, trying to plan for a retirement that will last into our 80's or even longer. But many of us won't last that long, and it's important to me to include that possibiliity in my own planning. I think I can make it work now, in about a year I'll finish up a project at work, and then I'm retiring. I'll be less "safe" than many others -- but we each have to move to the beat of our own drummer.

Best wishes for your friend -- it sounds like he has a tough row to hoe. Friends like you are of great value at times like this.

Coach
__________________
"Comprehensive health insurance is an idea whose time has come in America." President Richard M. Nixon, February 6, 1974
Coach is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 10:16 AM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
wabmester's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,459
Re: sick friend

Have your friend look into peppers.* *UCLA reported last month that "Capsaicin had a profound anti-proliferative effect on human prostate cancer cells in culture."

Abstract

Popular press account
__________________
wabmester is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 11:23 AM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 927
Re: sick friend

Hi Spark:

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend!* This stinks!* I DO know several people who have faced this particular cancer and beaten it, so I hope he'll pull through.

I understand how you feel about your own future -- I'm "pushing 50" myself, and these types of stories get more common every day, it seems.* I recently heard about a friend-of-a-friend who got a staff infection in a hair follicle in the back of his neck, which went to his spine.* He became a quadriplegic!* We run through life thinking the next hour, day, year is guaranteed.* Not so.

I've been thinking lately about an old story:

A guy's town floods and he's left stranded on his roof.* A helicopter comes along to rescue him.*
* * *"That's ok," he says.* "I trust in God to save me."

A rowboat comes along a little later and tries to rescue him.
* * *"That's ok," he says.* "I trust in God to save me."

Later still, a big log washes by with several people clinging to it.* They call to him to climb on board.
* * *"That's ok," he says.* "I trust in God to save me."

Finally, the water rises over his head, and he's washed away and drowned.* He arrives in heaven, meets God, and asks him:
* * *"I trusted in you to save me, Master.* How could you let me down?"

God replies:
* * *"I sent you a helicopter, a rowboat, and a log, guy.* What more did you WANT?"

I think about this story when I hear about people getting sick / dying before their time. Are we getting messages, here, and how many will we ignore before it's too late?

fwiw,
Caroline
__________________
Caroline is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 11:34 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
grumpy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,321
Re: sick friend

Spark,

Having been a cancer survivor at age 36 I determined to retire at the earliest time I possibly could. I have had some other moderately serious health issues as well, so I certainly agree with the point of view that says "do it now, you may not be around tomorrow". Facing your own mortality does cause you to focus on what you really want out of life. I chose to accept a less affluent lifestyle in exchange for more time and leisure to do the things I like to do. Your thinking is on the right track.

Grumpy
__________________
...you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...
grumpy is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 12:01 PM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
lazygood4nothinbum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,895
Re: sick friend

watching alzheimer's rob my mom of her last 20 years put me to retire at 48. i'll wind up having less but i'll wind up having had more.
__________________
"off with their heads"~~dr. joseph-ignace guillotin

"life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages."~~mark twain - letter to edward kimmitt 1901
lazygood4nothinbum is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 12:31 PM   #9
Full time employment: Posting here.
cj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 517
Re: sick friend

I am also a 10+ year cancer survivor.* Got it at age 39: major surgery, chemo, the whole works.* And yes, it does make you totally change your priorities.* You start to realize that life is short and there are no guarantees.* You learn that the big house and fancy car and accumulating "stuff" - none of it is important.* Some of us learn our life lessons the hard way, but now we get it.

I wish the best for your friend.

CJ
__________________
cj is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 12:40 PM   #10
Dryer sheet aficionado
AFloat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 42
Re: sick friend

I hope you and your friend are doing well. I know it can be a difficult time for him and you.
Two years ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through surgery and then chemo and is ok now but it did change her outlook on life and in turn mine. Were both in our mid 50s and were ER, my wife almost demanded it! Were living on our boat, getting our house ready to sell and living the dream. No time to waste, you never know what life may bring.
__________________
AFloat is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 01:08 PM   #11
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
Re: sick friend

I make my living as a doctor in a major tertiary referral cancer hospital, usually seeing patients when they are at their lowest points. I think it's fair to say that I have seen alot.

The one thing I can tell you is that in cancer, in death, and in life nothing is more important than your attitude and your outlook. I do not, of course, mean being unreasonably optimistic or pessimistic. Rather, it is about accepting the situation with grace and dignity, appreciating the "now," making good decisions, and focusing on life, love and faith. I have been repeatedly inspired by dying patients; it can be amazing.

It may sound funny when used outside my profession but generally speaking when there is enough time people die as they live. That is, if they approach life "well" they will approach death well. I hope that will apply to me when the time comes.

Anyhow, it's good to take stock once in a while (no pun intended). I sincerely wish your friend and you all the best in this difficult time.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 02:14 PM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,352
Re: sick friend

All the best to your friend and you, Spark. As a cancer survivor of just 4 months now, I'm not sure it's impacted my life just yet but my outlook is hard to judge.

But Rich, I agree 100%, attitude is so important. I know from experience that being positive is difficult at times. I felt pretty low a few times while walking the halls carrying a bag full of my own urine and a bladder full of rubber catheter tubing. But hey, here I sit today eating a Chicago style dog and sippin a brew.


__________________
OldAgePensioner is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: sick friend
Old 04-14-2006, 02:38 PM   #13
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
Re: sick friend

Thanks for the great feedback. I'm new to using a forum like this to openly discuss life's issues but I have to say I'm very impressed. You all are a great bunch of folks and I'm looking forward to a lot more conversations.
__________________

__________________
spark0506 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Its funny joke Thursday! cute fuzzy bunny Other topics 4246 12-12-2017 09:55 AM
This is as weird (and sick) as it gets dory36 Other topics 57 12-15-2007 11:38 AM
MY "best" friend really baffles me. Friends? hmmm... (long) thefed Other topics 37 09-21-2007 05:36 PM
help! friend peddling WFG and VUL's bright eyed Young Dreamers 41 01-30-2007 10:19 PM
Help for a Dear Friend Vincenzo FIRE and Money 13 10-25-2006 12:35 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:51 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.