Single men of ER...chime in pls

[Johanson]

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Originally Posted by athena53 I've been thinking about that; I have travel plans blocked out through November, 2019 (God willing). They include a group tour of India in March, 2018, hoping for Scotland next summer, maybe an UnCruise Adventures cruise of the Sea of Cortez in early 2019 and Hawaii plus Australia and NZ in late 2019 (my professional society is meeting in Honolulu in November, which makes it a good intermediary point). So if I meet some great guy and he can't pay his own way, I can ante up the cost of bringing him with me, he can wait cheerfully at home (and I know a happily married couple where the wife travels and the husband doesn't want to) or I can cut travel from my life which ain't gonna happen. Hmmm... One other thing on dating web site profiles: a picture of a guy in a tie looks very old-school even if you're smiling. And I just saw one of a retired teacher with 20 photos- turned out to be one shot of him plus 19 of scenery from his latest trip to Cozumel. Not very informative!

I travel for work almost every week. I still have a couple of years to go before ER. I'm sure I'd have no issues finding someone if I was traveling for fun after ER.

I don't own a tie, nor a suit, but I've been to Coz four times for dive trips. I was on a dating site a few years ago. I meet more women through Facebook. The last one I dated for 2 1/2 years but she lived in Montana and that doesn't help either.

[Chuckanut]

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Originally Posted by Johanson I meet more women through Facebook.

Is there a Facebook dating app?

I wouldn't be surprised.

[Amethyst]

I can see FB "working" as a way to meet. Although I'm married and not looking for someone, I have come to like some people - men and women - on FB very much. These are friends of friends, whom I never would have met in real life.

The nature of FB is that, depending on how much people choose to share, you can see a lot about a person - what they like, how they react, how they communicate. And because it's not an official Dating App, it's not as self-conscious as I imagine dating sites to be (then again I have never used one, so what would I know). Edit: I actually learned to respect a "friend" even more because of all the things he was posting on FB. I only knew him from work, and never realized how many outside interests he had.

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Originally Posted by Johanson I. I was on a dating site a few years ago. I meet more women through Facebook.

[Mulligan]

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Originally Posted by Chuckanut Congratulations! Now please tell this naive person what "Russian back door channels" are?

Just a little harmless "politics" interjected into the conversation, lol.

[Johanson]

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Originally Posted by Chuckanut Is there a Facebook dating app? I wouldn't be surprised.

I actually met a couple of women through an app that allowed people to buy and sell people's pics with fake money. The price would go up the more they were bought. That app went away years ago. I also met a few women playing Zynga Poker. Back in the day, you could see their FB profiles, send them friend requests, etc. You can't do that today.

[Mdlerth]

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Originally Posted by braumeister I've only skimmed this thread, but there are some fascinating stories here. What concerns me a little is that if I ever lost DW I know I would turn into a complete recluse and that's not good.

This would be me as well. Our children are all grown and (mostly) launched, so I can readily see myself moving out to the woods in grief and being written about in a local paper as "that crazy mountain man".

How do I know this? There is a genetic precedent. I have a younger brother who already has done that.

[Souschef]

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Originally Posted by braumeister I've only skimmed this thread, but there are some fascinating stories here. What concerns me a little is that if I ever lost DW I know I would turn into a complete recluse and that's not good.

Interesting thought, but I reacted just the opposite. There were a number of things my late wife was not interested in but I was, so I did them after she had passed away.
I took a 2 week trip to China, and rode the Trans Siberian Express from Moscow to Vladivostok. I met some interesting people on both trips.

[athena53]

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Originally Posted by Souschef Interesting thought, but I reacted just the opposite. There were a number of things my late wife was not interested in but I was, so I did them after she had passed away.

I'm doing this. DH and I enjoyed so many destinations together that I didn't want to use our time and resources to visit places where he wouldn't be comfortable (he didn't tolerate warm climates well) or that didn't interest him (India). Now that I'm traveling solo, I have 5 major trips planned through 2019. Two are returns to places we loved; the other 3, plus my most recent, are places we couldn't have enjoyed together.

[street]

Interesting post and I believe it isn't the norm today like it was 40 and 50 plus years ago.

I once was told by an old timer he said don't get married till you are older in life. Then he said marry one that can wheel you around in the wheel chair. Lol

[Mulligan]

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Originally Posted by street Interesting post and I believe it isn't the norm today like it was 40 and 50 plus years ago. I once was told by an old timer he said don't get married till you are older in life. Then he said marry one that can wheel you around in the wheel chair. Lol

I recently talked to a regular at the workout place I go too. She is 70 and considering to move away to find a better chance to find a significant other. She said "The only men around here that are a available either want a nurse or the purse".

[Amethyst]

It's the marital equivalent of having kids, just so they can take care of you when you are old.

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Originally Posted by street I once was told by an old timer he said don't get married till you are older in life. Then he said marry one that can wheel you around in the wheel chair. Lol

[Hermit]

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Originally Posted by braumeister I've only skimmed this thread, but there are some fascinating stories here. What concerns me a little is that if I ever lost DW I know I would turn into a complete recluse and that's not good.

As in a hermit? So what's wrong with being a hermit?

Hermit

[dvalley]

I thought this thread might only get 3 responses if that but what an amazing perspective from so many smart people and in various stages of life. Thank you for being open and sharing your thoughts, stories and background.

[braumeister]

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Originally Posted by Hermit As in a hermit? So what's wrong with being a hermit?

No, alas. I meant as in making a hermit look like a social butterfly.

[aja8888]

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Originally Posted by Mulligan I recently talked to a regular at the workout place I go too. She is 70 and considering to move away to find a better chance to find a significant other. She said "The only men around here that are a available either want a nurse or the purse".

Mulligan, it works both ways.

[Fedup]

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Originally Posted by street Interesting post and I believe it isn't the norm today like it was 40 and 50 plus years ago. I once was told by an old timer he said don't get married till you are older in life. Then he said marry one that can wheel you around in the wheel chair. Lol

If I were to be single again, I definitely will take this into account.

[Meadbh]

Not a male, but....this is a very interesting thread. I now have a better understanding of the male brain!

Once, when I moved to a new city, I joined a singles club as a way to make new friends. I soon realized that singles clubs are for people who are single and don't want to be. Since I was a happy single, I was soon out of there.

[athena53]

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Originally Posted by dvalley I thought this thread might only get 3 responses if that but what an amazing perspective from so many smart people and in various stages of life. Thank you for being open and sharing your thoughts, stories and background.

I found it interesting, too- not only did it help me think some more about my own situation, but it was interesting to get other thoughts and experiences!

[H2ODude]

Yep, interesting thread. Married DW at 19 and I wouldn't trade what we've had and still have for anything. Reading all this thread just confirms that I've always been correct in claiming our marriage (and kids) as the greatest asset I've been blessed with. That, and the fact we're both kicking around in good shape at 66. Doubt anyone would have predicted the long term success back then in 1970 but it just worked out. We've both changed a lot over the years but in complimentary ways.

I'm guessing she'll survive me. If not, I tend to think I'd forego the chase. I see too much unhappiness and surprises that arise in relationships.

Sorry for the posts on loss and difficulties. Guess all things must end as will ours some day. Meanwhile will just try to enjoy the ride.

[FlaGator]

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Originally Posted by H2ODude Yep, interesting thread. Married DW at 19 and I wouldn't trade what we've had and still have for anything. Reading all this thread just confirms that I've always been correct in claiming our marriage (and kids) as the greatest asset I've been blessed with. That, and the fact we're both kicking around in good shape at 66. Doubt anyone would have predicted the long term success back then in 1970 but it just worked out. We've both changed a lot over the years but in complimentary ways. I'm guessing she'll survive me. If not, I tend to think I'd forego the chase. I see too much unhappiness and surprises that arise in relationships. Sorry for the posts on loss and difficulties. Guess all things must end as will ours some day. Meanwhile will just try to enjoy the ride.

Congratulations on the longevity.

I'm fortunate to know several couples happily married for 20+ years and I enjoy being around them, nice reminder of what can be.

Appreciate the compassion for the "unintended singles". I remain an optimist, and if I end up sharing some years with 2nd great lady, I think that would be wonderful