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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-29-2007, 04:20 PM   #61
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

It really is all about when the planets and stars and galaxys line up. Who knows.

never say never enjoy everyday with who you choose to be with and if something moves in your heart , well you will know.
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-29-2007, 04:54 PM   #62
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

I guess I will throw in my 2 cents into the discussion.

After my divorce I was not inclined to remarry and it was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. I was busy with (over) work and being a single parent of a young teenager with emotional scars. My goals involved keeping the wolf away from the door while pay off the huge amount of debt left on my back from the divorce. Marriage was a nasty word in my house.

Flash forward a few years. I met a woman who opened up my heart and my mind to a new future. We married...second time around for us both. It lasted one week short of 10 years and left me widowed and alone. Remarriage was the furthest thing from my mind.

Flash forward and my life changed again. A new woman entered my life and we married (three times the charm for both of us).

If I were widowed or divorced again I believe I would resolve myself to being alone. The pain of loving and losing takes a toll on the heart and the mind and doing it yet one more time seems less likely at this phase in my life. But, I don't really know what the future holds and I might find yet another love of my life. Life without someone to share it with seems an empty existance to me. I have been alone and I have been married and I prefer being married (to the right person).

If you believe there is no one as good as your former spouse you might be surprised to find out that in many cases, there are others out there that could make you happy. Likewise, there are many out there that could make you worse off than being alone. Like is a risk. Those best prepared will lower the risks to an acceptable level and will be rewarded for their efforts. The more one experiences the more able one becomes to judge what is important to them.

There is nothing wrong with living alone if that is what makes you happy. What ever works for you and makes you happy is what is important.
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-29-2007, 05:27 PM   #63
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by theronware
Relax, 2B. I've got a Ph.D., (as does my partner), am gay, and have had a daughter!! And, we're working on number two!! See, it's up to us educated gay women to save contemporary U.S. civilization from itself.
We're doing our dangdest....

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 09:27 AM   #64
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by theronware
See, it's up to us educated gay women to save contemporary U.S. civilization from itself.
We're doing our dangdest....

theronware
Can you please clarify what you mean by that statement

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 11:40 AM   #65
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude
Can you please clarify what you mean by that statement

It was an attempt at humour (sort of). I guess I should festoon my messages with emoticons in order to make my intentions clear.

2B evinces dismay that educated women are having less children and proposes some kind of governmental stipend system to encourage said educated women to stay home and breed rather than deploy their educations in the workforce.

In the ensuing melee with good4nothingbum, both writers assume that gay people will be outside the purview of this new gov. system...2b indeed suggests that his proposed policy will be perceived as homophobic.

Both writers are therefore assuming that gay people don't have kids. In fact 60% of gay households are now raising children so certainly the proposed policy change would impact them.

I don't really know 2b's politics (beyond his rather scary eugenic leanings)...but I was yanking his chain in suggesting that he has nothing to worry about because gays are actually engaged in the reproduction he finds so sorely lacking amongst the educated classes.

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 12:43 PM   #66
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Got it!!

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 12:55 PM   #67
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
There is nothing wrong with living alone if that is what makes you happy. What ever works for you and makes you happy is what is important.
Who says you have to be married to share your life with someone? My original thought was that I would never marry again, not that I wanted to live alone the rest of my life. I do want to find another love and share my life but being married is just not on my agenda. I plan to avoid the legal ties that bind!
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 12:58 PM   #68
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Got it!!
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 05:31 PM   #69
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldbabe
Who says you have to be married to share your life with someone? My original thought was that I would never marry again, not that I wanted to live alone the rest of my life. I do want to find another love and share my life but being married is just not on my agenda. I plan to avoid the legal ties that bind!
It was interesting for me to attempt to articulate for myself exactly those things that are only available via marriage vs. any other type of relationship. I only came up with a few - sex, exclusivity, and a lifelong commitment were the three I thought of, in theory. And every one of those can be muddied up in any number of different ways -- some marriages are sexless and some non-marriages aren't, some non-marriages are exclusive, and lifelong commitment isn't necessarily going to happen in a marriage. Anyway, it was interesting to think about.

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 06:26 PM   #70
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

I'm not sure that living together avoids all those messy legal entanglements ?
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 06:54 PM   #71
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Never lived together, and only married once, so I'm in no way any expert, but I always thought (in Canada anyway) if you live together for atleast 2 years, legally it was pretty well the same as being married. As far as parting ways if you know what I mean. Can't put it in words today.
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 07:19 PM   #72
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
I'm not sure that living together avoids all those messy legal entanglements ?
What legal entanglements would living together involve, especially for folks at our age?
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 07:29 PM   #73
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by theronware
Both writers are therefore assuming that gay people don't have kids. In fact 60% of gay households are now raising children ...
This does not sound possible, unless you are using some odd definition of household. Not even 60% of all households are raising children. It would be strange indeed if gays were raising proportionately more children than the entire population of gays and straights taken together.

If your assertion is indeed true, please provide some evidence, as I think this would be a revolutionary social change and would at the very least argue strongly for not only allowing but fostering gay marriage in every jurisdiction.

Ha
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 07:34 PM   #74
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldbabe
What legal entanglements would living together involve, especially for folks at our age?
When people divorce and there's no disputing custody of kids then isn't the battle about who gets what financially? In Canada I believe that after 2 years living common law, its 50, 50 anyway? So it doesnít matter whether youíre married or not you still split it equally. Thatís what I was trying to get at.
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 07:45 PM   #75
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

The issue that could arise is whether or not promises were made. Complications arise when a domestic associate/room mate is introduced as something more than a friend. "Common Law Marriage" is pretty much gone in the USA. I recall a lady friend who lived with guy for 12 years before he suddenly died, but hadn't lived in a state that with "common law marriage" long enough to establish a marriage. She got nothing from his pension.

Before I let a someone move in with me I would have the terms reduced to writing and photo my household before they moved in to establish what stuff is mine (wouldn't necessarily share that).

Suppose you need to move or the arrangement is no longer suitable, can you force the friend to leave without eviction? If you are renting check your lease.

When we were young life was so much simpler because our assets were minimal.
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 08:47 PM   #76
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
This does not sound possible, unless you are using some odd definition of household. Not even 60% of all households are raising children. It would be strange indeed if gays were raising proportionately more children than the entire population of gays and straights taken together.

If your assertion is indeed true, please provide some evidence, as I think this would be a revolutionary social change and would at the very least argue strongly for not only allowing but fostering gay marriage in every jurisdiction.

Ha
I meant gay couples, rather than households (my own form of chauvinism, I suppose). And, yes, there I exaggerated -- but only somewhat. The numbers are as follows:

"Forty percent of same-sex couples aged 22 to 55 are raising children, about 5 percent of whom are adopted, according to the Williams Project, a UCLA Law School think tank. If you include children born in once-heterosexual marriages, raised by single parents and parents of all ages, up to 10 million children are estimated to have a lesbian or gay parent." (This is from the *Boston Globe* March 26 2006)

Doesn't 40% of same-sex couples raising children also "argue strongly for not only allowing but fostering gay marriage in every jurisdiction"?

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 10:54 PM   #77
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by theronware
I meant gay couples, rather than households (my own form of chauvinism, I suppose). And, yes, there I exaggerated -- but only somewhat. The numbers are as follows:

"Forty percent of same-sex couples aged 22 to 55 are raising children, about 5 percent of whom are adopted, according to the Williams Project, a UCLA Law School think tank. If you include children born in once-heterosexual marriages, raised by single parents and parents of all ages, up to 10 million children are estimated to have a lesbian or gay parent." (This is from the *Boston Globe* March 26 2006)

Doesn't 40% of same-sex couples raising children also "argue strongly for not only allowing but fostering gay marriage in every jurisdiction"?
It certainly does, in my book. But then, I have never had a problem with gay marriage, even if all the couples wanted out of it was a sure date for gay power parades.

Ha

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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 11:38 PM   #78
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

apologies to the op for this hijack but comments already imbedded within your thread compel me (edit: even if i said i wouldn't do it again)

Quote:
Originally Posted by theronware
In the ensuing melee with good4nothingbum, both writers assume that gay people will be outside the purview of this new gov. system...2b indeed suggests that his proposed policy will be perceived as homophobic.

Both writers are therefore assuming that gay people don't have kids. In fact 60% of gay households are now raising children so certainly the proposed policy change would impact them.
i most certainly did not assume "gay people will be outside the purview of this new gov. system." where do you find me expressing such sentiment? where do you find me assuming "that gay people don't have kids"? are you saying you would have preferred i included lesbians as part of my derogatory remark about breeders? you've either got to be kidding or you misread or misinterpreted what i wrote.
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-30-2007, 11:54 PM   #79
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
I'm not sure that living together avoids all those messy legal entanglements ?
for me, obligations of a relationship go far beyond legal, even when not state sanctioned. were i to luck-out a third time & hook-up with someone who, say, this time did not have my means, and let that person become dependent on me to share my new early retired lifestyle, how could i possibly dump that person 10 years down the line without resources? this is especially relevant at this age. if i hooked up with someone 50 years old now who didn't have resources, how could i dump them at 60 with no finances? if i let someone become dependent on me in these later years, don't i become responsible for them for life?
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?
Old 01-31-2007, 01:43 AM   #80
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Re: Single old babes, want to marry again?

A judicious observation!


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