Son wants to waste money

[MichaelB]

Well, at least the $300 Samsung is cheaper than a $650 iPhone.

There is no guarantee he will learn anything from this. He is 15 and much of his learning is done. With a teenager one has to choose which battles to fight and which to walk away from. This is "easy" to walk away, because the damage isn't great. Better save your ammo for the ones that have more severe consequences, like cars and driving .. and insurance.

 

[Texas Proud]

Again... thanks for all the the replys... I admit defeat... and in less than 24 hours...

We do not have any problems with him.... he does his homework and gets on us if we keep him out where he can not do it... he goes to bed on his own... wakes up on his own... makes his own breakfast etc. etc. (his bus picks him up at 6:20)....

 

[travelover]

Sage words from my DW, a long time elementary teacher:

Kids soon forget what you said, but they always remember the way that you made them feel

So, let him learn his lesson with dignity.

 

[Purron]

He's a 15 year old boy. Going into high school. It's important to him and he wants to spend his money on it. I bet he's worried the girls won't give him the time of day unless he's up to date with technology.

Perhaps we need to remember what it's like to be 15. Not that different really from when we were young and dumb. Plus, he sounds like a good kid. Just starting to push for his independence.

 

[Chuckanut]

Assuming he does get a smart phone, you might want to consider how you will control and monitor its use. The best thing is to have it under your name so you can see the records anytime you want. Teenagers will rebel against that requirement, IMHO, since they are so much smarter than you and me.

Might be a good idea to check with other parents who have already faced this situation. I am too old to have had to face it with my children.

Other than that I am bowing out. These family things become very personal, sort of like deciding when to take SS payments.

 

[Silver]

I voted no for no reason other than I fail to understand the current cultural fetish with cell phones. Sounds like he's a good kid.....I'd encourage him to be more original by being proud of his monetary wisdom by not wasting $300.

 

[racy]

I agree with skyvue & braumaster. He's old enough to start making these kind of decisions and it's a different world out there as far as peers. I was the last in my family to get a cell phone, even though I was paying for a family plan. However, I was the second to get a smartphone. I have to say, they're pretty cool!; as Animorph says, it's a pocket computer. TexasProud, get one yourself, too!

 

[photoguy]

Assuming he does get a smart phone, you might want to consider how you will control and monitor its use. The best thing is to have it under your name so you can see the records anytime you want. Teenagers will rebel against that requirement, IMHO, since they are so much smarter than you and me.

If he is going prepaid, is there any reason to monitor or control the use of the phone?

 

[skipro3]

I'm sure this sort of situation happens to the parents of every child who starts to accumulate their own money. When my sons approached me with the desire to make big ticket purchases, I told them;
You can buy anything you want, but remember you can't buy everything you want. So make that choice the best one because you will have to live with it.

This would give them enough pause to consider their other options to spend their money on; upcoming date, saving for a car, a camping trip with their friends, etc. If they decided that the phone in this example was what they wanted most, then that was understood it was at the sacrifice of the other choices he could spend the money on.

 

[Speculator]

Without getting into a discussion about what is an appropriate age to make certain decisions, I'd simply ask: "Would you want someone telling you how to spend your money?"

 

[chris2008]

Yesterday I stood next to 2 boys, app. 10 years old, and one told the other that he is saving now for a Samsung xyz smartphone: "It has more than 600 apps".

It's your sons money, he can waste it as he likes. He probably has wasted more than that before (if only in small amounts, but they total up - as we all know) and will do so later.
The lesson to distinguish between waste and smart purchase each of us has to learn himself. And 15 is not too young for that.

I think the really important lesson on consequential costs of a purchase will come as soon as he has the smartphone. Imagine him between his friends: " Cool phone! Do you have this and that app?" "No, I have a voice only plan".
Just make sure that the follow up costs for all the bells and whistles will not end on your plan - and that the smartphone will be turned off during meals and for family time.

 

[obgyn65]

+1

Yep, I have to agree. Let him spend the money and learn the lesson. It's cheap tuition and certainly better than learning the same lesson via a $35,000 car that he can't afford to buy much less insure, maintain, etc.

 

[Katsmeow]

FWIW at a similar age both my son and my daughter saved up their money to buy an iPhone. Several years later, neither one of them regrets it in the least. I think they would give up their computers before they gave up their phone. The bottom line is that they find it totally worth the money.

We did make stipulations. We gave them the option to get or not get insurance to replace the phone if lost. The iphone coverage for this was not very good and had a high deductible and they (correctly I think) decided not to get the coverage. My daughter actually lost her phone at school (vanished she claims out of her backback). She bought a new one to replace it which was very expensive since it was well before she could get a discounted new one.

We also required that they pay for their own data plan and if they broke the screen, etc. they had to pay for it. My son actually had someone knock the phone out of his hands (he was reading on it -- it is great for Kindle books) and someone ran into him. It cost him $200 to get the screen replaced. We advanced the money to us but he paid it back.


Anyway, it has been a good learning experience for each them but what they have learned is that smartphones cost a lot, smartphones are really super great and you have to take care of them and it costs a lot if they get lost or broken. And they each went over on their data plan once and learned from that as well and are now very careful.

 

[jayc]

I would be very concerned about spending money for status. That is a mentality I would 'nip in the bud'. Put on some Frank Zappa, 'Status Back Baby' and 'Plastic People'. It cured me.

 

[Walt34]

Forgot where I read it, but a wise mom said she applied the "ten year rule" to dumb teenage decisions, as in "Will this matter in ten years?"

So "yes" to letting her 15-year-old dye her hair orange (or green, or whatever) but "no" to the tattoo.

If the dumbest thing he ever does is blow $300 on a phone he's ahead of the game. It's his money, let him make those mistakes when the costs are low.

 

[ronocnikral]

whenever I wanted to spend "my" money on something stupid like electronics or girbaud jeans when I was in high school, my mother and father would tell me that since I had so much money, maybe I should be buying all my clothes and no more lunch money. Of course, I got a few splurges here and there, but it was really easy for them to say, "alright money bags, maybe you should buy your $130 soccer cleats instead of us." Paying for my vehicle and insurance was another favorite of theirs.

Whenever I started to crowd the plate, the inside fast ball they sent whizzing by clearly communicated their message.

 

[Texas Proud]

Forgot where I read it, but a wise mom said she applied the "ten year rule" to dumb teenage decisions, as in "Will this matter in ten years?"

So "yes" to letting her 15-year-old dye her hair orange (or green, or whatever) but "no" to the tattoo.

If the dumbest thing he ever does is blow $300 on a phone he's ahead of the game. It's his money, let him make those mistakes when the costs are low.

This was the same as my sister.... my niece had all of the strange hair colors and even had her tounge pierced... which she did get removed eventually..... no tatoos as far as we know....

 

[Texas Proud]

whenever I wanted to spend "my" money on something stupid like electronics or girbaud jeans when I was in high school, my mother and father would tell me that since I had so much money, maybe I should be buying all my clothes and no more lunch money. Of course, I got a few splurges here and there, but it was really easy for them to say, "alright money bags, maybe you should buy your $130 soccer cleats instead of us." Paying for my vehicle and insurance was another favorite of theirs.

Whenever I started to crowd the plate, the inside fast ball they sent whizzing by clearly communicated their message.

I like this.... I will use it some time....

 

[Texas Proud]

The update:

We bought the phone last night... I got the cash in my pocket... I will be putting it in his college fund soon (he does not know that I do that with his big purchases)....

He is aware of the risks.... or at least I should say he SAYS he is aware of the risks....

I asked him 'how long has you and your mother been talking about this before coming to me?'..... he said two weeks...


One thing that my DW said is that he is considered a 'digital citizen'.... I think that is what they are calling his cohort....

 

[MichaelB]

The update:

We bought the phone last night... I got the cash in my pocket... I will be putting it in his college fund soon (he does not know that I do that with his big purchases)....

He is aware of the risks.... or at least I should say he SAYS he is aware of the risks....

I asked him 'how long has you and your mother been talking about this before coming to me?'..... he said two weeks...


One thing that my DW said is that he is considered a 'digital citizen'.... I think that is what they are calling his cohort....

Did you take him out to buy the phone? That would be a good lesson for a teenage boy - being graceful and showing you can change your mind...

 

[dmpi]

I never realized it until now but I too have an "old man's phone".

 

[Chuckanut]

Forgot where I read it, but a wise mom said she applied the "ten year rule" to dumb teenage decisions, as in "Will this matter in ten years?"

So "yes" to letting her 15-year-old dye her hair orange (or green, or whatever) but "no" to the tattoo.

This reminds me of a story told to me by my old grandpappy. A young woman wanted to get a rather large tattoo put onto a very visible part of her body. Her baby boomer mother had given up trying to convince her otherwise. So, her aunt pulled out an album of photos from their high school and college days - bell bottom pants, paisley shirts with big pointed collars, tye dyed shirts, bushy afro-hair, hippie dresses, etc. It was a real hoot and the young woman could not believe her parents actually dressed that way when they were young. At that point the aunt pointed out that the goofy clothing could easily be removed and replaced with a more modern and mature look without the need for an expensive medical procedure. The young woman did not get the tattoo.

 

[Texas Proud]

Did you take him out to buy the phone? That would be a good lesson for a teenage boy - being graceful and showing you can change your mind...

No, did it online. We did look at other options, but he was set on a specific one....


I did make him count out the money before I pressed the buy button... he was a bit miffed at having to pay taxes

 

[HFWR]

I assume that otherwise he is a fine boy - decent grades, no drugs, reputable friends, and his girl friend isn't an embarrassment.

I now see where I went wrong...

 

[Texas Proud]

Yep, I have to agree. Let him spend the money and learn the lesson. It's cheap tuition and certainly better than learning the same lesson via a $35,000 car that he can't afford to buy much less insure, maintain, etc.

I assume that otherwise he is a fine boy - decent grades, no drugs, reputable friends, and his girl friend isn't an embarrassment.

Thought I had replied to this, but see that I had not....

Yes, he is a fine boy... straigth As, no drugs, good friends from what I can tell (even though he is very quiet and does not have many)... no girl friend (wife thinks he might be eyeing one, but to reserved to do anything)...

Funny you mention about a $35,000 car... my nephew was about to purchase one a bit higher than that.... while still living at home... sis did not know what to tell him except that if he could afford a car he could afford his own place.... fortunately for her (and IMO for him) the bank shot him down.... his job was not permanant....