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Old 04-01-2012, 05:24 PM   #41
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I wonder what that says about dating in general, or just about the type of people you meet on dating websites.

One conclusion could be that the truly desirable* people never need to resort to dating websites.

* [In the sense of "life partner", not "lust at first sight"...]
Nords,

I'm curious...where are the 'truly desirable' people meeting one another? I'd love to know.

omni
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:32 PM   #42
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Nords,

I'm curious...where are the 'truly desirable' people meeting one another? I'd love to know.

omni
Seems like they are everywhere. I met Frank on a dating website 12 years ago, for example.... I agree with Nords that dating websites are not ideal, but then for those of us who don't drink the options are limited. I almost despaired of meeting anyone reasonable there until we met.
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:44 PM   #43
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Seems like they are everywhere. I met Frank on a dating website 12 years ago, for example.... I agree with Nords that dating websites are not ideal, but then for those of us who don't drink the options are limited. I almost despaired of meeting anyone reasonable there until we met.
You're very lucky. From all that I've read about Frank, he seems like a fabulous companion.

Perhaps those people are driven to drink as a result of their less-than stellar online dating experiences.

omni
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:58 PM   #44
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You're very lucky. From all that I've read about Frank, he seems like a fabulous companion.
Yes, I am so lucky. He and I seem to get along wonderfully. It took a couple of years after my divorce before we met, but it was worth the wait.

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Originally Posted by omni550
Perhaps those people are driven to drink as a result of their less-than stellar online dating experiences.

omni
Good one! You're probably right.
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Old 04-01-2012, 06:25 PM   #45
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Omni , It's a compliment that men are handing you their contact information . At my age the only thing they ask me about is whether the canned fruit is in the third or fourth aisle and do I recommend prunes for their irregularity .
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Old 04-01-2012, 07:55 PM   #46
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Nords,
I'm curious...where are the 'truly desirable' people meeting one another? I'd love to know.
omni
You mean, other than dancing lessons? I would've thought that was a pretty reliable method. Maybe you end up with the equivalent of a dancing black belt before you find someone.

If I knew as a 14-year-old guy what I know now, I would've taken up dressage or Western riding. And martial arts.

But I suspect that the key is activities where there's no pressure to "meet" someone. Something that brings medium to large groups of people together for activities that don't require too much one-on-one interaction. Like cycling or running or paddling clubs, or crewing on a sailboat, or a non-profit hands-on activity like Habitat For Humanity. Or training for a triathlon. Or martial arts, where you meet people who know people and where you regularly do tournaments that bring together crowds. Or Lions Club or Rotary or Toastmasters. Or kid's sports leagues. Or a community graffiti paint-out or a beach cleanup. Or a local church or community theater (usher duty/ticket sales). Or veteran's groups or the Navy League (and its ilk).

Or, heaven forbid, at work.
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Old 04-01-2012, 08:12 PM   #47
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I loved Toastmasters! It was fun, challenging (since I am a little shy), and gave me the skills to communicate effectively at meetings. So it was a great career move. It was just me and a dozen married men, but I can see that for some it could provide a nice setting for getting to know someone.

Edited to add: So, my point is that men do attend Toastmasters', and if there doesn't happen to be anybody eligible there then at least it is fun and can be a good career move.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:58 AM   #48
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My best one was back preinternet days, and spotted an attractive lady and had a policeman run the plates for me to get her info for me!
I don't know about other states, but here in Texas doing that could get the LEO fired and even possibly jail time.

As to internet dating, DW mentioned to me the other day that one of her coworker's last child got married and like his other two sibblings, met their significant other over the internet. I don't know if that meant via a dating website or on a forum. Seems like forums could be a good way to get to know people and figure out who you like. I know there are several on here that I would like to meet in person for dinner and a few margaritas. Makes me wonder if there have been any online relationships on this forum that turned into more than that?
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:55 AM   #49
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I'll admit that it was particularly amusing to observe the reaction of some women when I showed up in my 1980 Toyota Corolla Wagon. One might think they would have been impressed with my economic good sense, impressive gas mileage, and the sentimentality I had towards my car.
It can work the other way too. While I was dating the lady who would become DW a few years later I was still driving my neon green 1970 Plymouth Duster with an AM radio and no A/C. I replaced it with a brand-new 1985 Chevy 4WD pickup truck that even had A/C, an option then.

One of the guys at work reacted with surprise "You're going to go out on dates in a pickup truck?"

My response was "Yeah. And if some girl won't go out with me because I drive a pickup truck that's fine. It'll save us both a lot of bother".

And during the summer DW just liked that it had A/C.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:16 AM   #50
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My only friends who met their husbands on a dating site married complete psychos. I attribute that to A) their poor skills at discernment and B) the dating sites attracted psychos. Sample size of two.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:19 AM   #51
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Makes me wonder if there have been any online relationships on this forum that turned into more than that?
I'd be curious to find out.

Years ago, I was once emailed by a female troll via this site who thought that I (being a single FIREd engineer) was an eligible (and moneyed) male.

omni
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:26 AM   #52
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I'd be curious to find out.

Years ago, I was once emailed by a female troll via this site who thought that I (being a single FIREd engineer) was an eligible (and moneyed) male.

omni
Female troll = trollette
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Old 04-02-2012, 10:53 AM   #53
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All us married folks love these threads. The only reason to have single friends is so we can live vicariously through their tales about their dating experiences.
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Old 04-02-2012, 11:05 AM   #54
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All us married folks love these threads. The only reason to have single friends is so we can live vicariously through their tales about their dating experiences.

Thus proving that the grass isn't always greener?

omni
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Old 04-02-2012, 04:09 PM   #55
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Seems like forums could be a good way to get to know people and figure out who you like. I know there are several on here that I would like to meet in person for dinner and a few margaritas. Makes me wonder if there have been any online relationships on this forum that turned into more than that?
You're going to have to read the perpetual-travel threads more closely.

"What happens in the RV, stays in the RV"...
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:50 PM   #56
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I haven't dated in about 5 years. The expectation that I do all the work is exhausting. I'm supposed to initiate. I'm supposed to call. I'm supposed to determine where we go. I'm supposed to pick her up or drive to a place near her home. I'm supposed to pay. After the date, I'm a jerk if I don't call - but only if she likes me. If she doesn't like me, then I'm a jerk if I do call. It's my fault for not being able to read her mind. Like I said, it's exhausting. It's not worth it.
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Old 04-02-2012, 10:00 PM   #57
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So there I am, some years ago, on a singles hike. I met several nice ladies who were teachers. We decided to go for breakfast. At the time I had set up a donation program for used NASA computers to be donated to local schools and the ladies were interested, at least in the computers
I had my eye (and brain & the rest of me) on one of them but no way to just speak to her. So I gave them all my business card but one also had my home phone written on the back. She called. Three years later we were married, still going after 18 years
Retired 4 years ago, DW 6 years ago. On an adventure trip to Viet Nam & Cambodia as I post, in Hoi AN on the way to Anchor Wat tomorrow.
Simple advice, if you are interested call, if not donít worry about it. Just donít avoid calling because you have his number and not the other way around. Life is too short to not go after what you want.
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Old 04-02-2012, 10:31 PM   #58
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So there I am, some years ago, on a singles hike. I met several nice ladies who were teachers. We decided to go for breakfast. At the time I had set up a donation program for used NASA computers to be donated to local schools and the ladies were interested, at least in the computers
I had my eye (and brain & the rest of me) on one of them but no way to just speak to her. So I gave them all my business card but one also had my home phone written on the back. She called. Three years later we were married, still going after 18 years
Retired 4 years ago, DW 6 years ago. On an adventure trip to Viet Nam & Cambodia as I post, in Hoi AN on the way to Anchor Wat tomorrow.
Simple advice, if you are interested call, if not donít worry about it. Just donít avoid calling because you have his number and not the other way around. Life is too short to not go after what you want.
yakers,

What a great [success] story!

And I like your philosophy "Life is too short to not go after what you want."

omni
A great
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Old 04-03-2012, 11:06 PM   #59
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I wonder what that says about dating in general, or just about the type of people you meet on dating websites.

One conclusion could be that the truly desirable* people never need to resort to dating websites.

* [In the sense of "life partner", not "lust at first sight"...]
Of course, that could be said about any mechanism or place where people meet.

Tens of millions people use dating websites. I have no reason to believe that they are not reasonably representative of the general population. With only a few exceptions, the women I've met face-to-face have been very nice. It's difficult to describe nice, but here's what some of them did for a living ... an MD (child psychiatrist); a research chemist; a chemical engineering professor; a PhD engineer at a technology firm; the head (?) of the "philanthropy" department at a large IT firm; a physical therapist; a veterinary nurse; and so on. I even met a marine.

The only girlfriend I met on line is the department chair of nursing at a college. She is a widow (married for 20 years) with 2 children. We dated 8-9 years ago but are still friends. Ironically, for the last 6 years she has been with a man she met on line. She wants to get married but he doesn't feel he is financially ready.

Of the men I personally know who have used dating websites (admittedly a small handful), they are all good people with high levels of integrity and care. With one exception, they are athletic and physically fit. To mention three ... one is a (retired) photographer at a major newspaper; one is an engineer; one is a retired military officer. Any woman would be lucky to have them. In fact, two are now married to women they met online.

Now, perhaps your comment was directed at me. If so, that's fine. It doesn't bother me. But I am offended at any insinuation that the above women and men are not desirable.

I mentioned match.com simply because it is quantifiable. My experiences are equally applicable to women met in other ways (e.g., church, athletic activities, through friends).

I've been on dates with many wonderful women. All the women I've dated more than twice have been great. However, this doesn't change the fact that there was considerable interest in my financial resources. And it doesn't change the fact that they expected me to "do everything" (e.g., call them). There's been only a small number of exceptions.

I remember a date with one woman met through a friend. I liked her. I believe she liked me, or at least that was my impression during and immediately after the date. She said she would call but never did. That made me conclude that my original impression was incorrect and she wasn't interested. So I didn't call her to avoid making her feel uncomfortable. I never promised to call. Later, though, I found out that she was interested in me. She was disappointed that I didn't call. You can criticize me for not being more aggressive. But she said she would call. I made no such promise. The expectation was still on me.
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Old 04-04-2012, 02:43 AM   #60
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I'll admit that it was particularly amusing to observe the reaction of some women when I showed up in my 1980 Toyota Corolla Wagon.
Comparative luxury! How'd ya think they'd react when I show up on my old mountain bike that I got for $100 off Craigslist?

I do keep the chain well-oiled though and it has a brand new saddle that cost me $25

It's probably just as well that I couldn't give a hoot what others think of me.
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