Starting to Resent Stuff

[Going Sailing]

We sold the house and moved into a nice rental townhouse. Hauled away loads of stuff to donate / dump. The more stuff we get rid of, the happier we seem to be.

Our new townhouse will complete construction in the next month or so and we will rent it out.

We haven't yet figured out whether we want to buy a boat on the west coast of North America or the Mediterranean. We will charter something in the Med next year and make a decision.

In either case, any stuff that we keep long term isn't going to fit on a boat and will end up in a storage locker or occupying a locked out bedroom or walled off portion of the garage. In other words it is going to cost us money in storage fees or reduced rent.

The espresso machine died last week. I had to replace it or DW would find life unbearable. But it bothered me immensely to spend money on something that is not going to give us any long term pleasure. It costs money now. We'll have to pay to move it. We will have to pay store it. Or we will have to pay to dispose of it.

We have an entire room we don't use with couches, TV, furniture. If we didn't have stuff, we would probably be perfectly happy living in a smaller space. We would pay less rent and have more money to spend on really important things...like boat electronics!

Anybody else find that their stuff gets in the way on their path to a simpler life?

 

[haha]

We sold the house and moved into a nice rental townhouse. Hauled away loads of stuff to donate / dump. The more stuff we get rid of, the happier we seem to be.

Our new townhouse will complete construction in the next month or so and we will rent it out.

We haven't yet figured out whether we want to buy a boat on the west coast of North America or the Mediterranean. We will charter something in the Med next year and make a decision.

In either case, any stuff that we keep long term isn't going to fit on a boat and will end up in a storage locker or occupying a locked out bedroom or walled off portion of the garage. In other words it is going to cost us money in storage fees or reduced rent.

The espresso machine died last week. I had to replace it or DW would find life unbearable. But it bothered me immensely to spend money on something that is not going to give us any long term pleasure. It costs money now. We'll have to pay to move it. We will have to pay store it. Or we will have to pay to dispose of it.

We have an entire room we don't use with couches, TV, furniture. If we didn't have stuff, we would probably be perfectly happy living in a smaller space. We would pay less rent and have more money to spend on really important things...like boat electronics!

Anybody else find that their stuff gets in the way on their path to a simpler life?

An espresso machine, even the most expensive professional one, costs less than divorce. If there is no coffee house on your block, be happy that you will not be getting a summons, at least not now.

Ha

 

[gauss]

I certainly have the urge to get rid of many things. DW does too. We will just have to coordinate this and both agree not to bring additional items into the house.

One thing that helps me is that if I can buy it again on Ebay if I need it, then I shouldn't worry about getting rid of an item.

It has been complicated lately by the deaths of family members during the past 3 years where we both were heirs.

=gauss

 

[savory]

We got rid of stuff and for the most part, it is a good decision. We were out of the country for 2 years, paid the storage fees, and then sold and gave it all away, upon our return. Hard to think you won't need it or want it, but in our case, it turned out the storage was a waste.

When we needed to replace parts of our bedroom set, we went back to college style, plastic shelves. Needed a sofa, Good Will. When we move, which is likely, we will not move most of the non-kitchen stuff. If still in good condition, we will donate to Good Will.

It feels good to be with only the stuff we really use. I sometimes miss the nice dining room table that sat eight and made the room and evening so nice but not enough to buy a new one, anymore.

 

[Trueace]

I mean everyone should be able to have a few must haves. If a coffee machine if one of her few then yeah you should probably let her keep it. I would assume you have a couple of must haves as well? If I was married and my spouse wanted to throw away my tennis rackets or not let me purchase new ones we would have a big issue lol. With that being said, I understand your point. All I need is a mattress, my laptop, tennis rackets, bike and some clothes. Am set otherwise..

 

[Going Sailing]

I mean everyone should be able to have a few must haves. If a coffee machine if one of her few then yeah you should probably let her keep it. I would assume you have a couple of must haves as well? If I was married and my spouse wanted to throw away my tennis rackets or not let me purchase new ones we would have a big issue lol. With that being said, I understand your point. All I need is a mattress, my laptop, tennis rackets, bike and some clothes. Am set otherwise..

Don't get me wrong. I bought the espresso maker willingly. The old one developed a habit of blowing the filter basket off. The other day a blast of steam caused second degree burns on DW's hand as she tried to grab it and avoid the mess of grounds everywhere. She felt it was user error and was going to continue using the old one. I insisted on the new one for safety not marital harmony. I don't resent DW's stuff. I just resent stuff in general. The more we get rid of the freer we feel. DW can have anything she wants...cutter rig, ketch, centre cockpit, aft cockpit, South Pacific, Mediterranean...

 

[Elbata]

I was a friend's house. Single guy with 11 TVs, surround sound, you name it, he's got it. I mean he's got everything. It's all first class and I would think just to keep up with everything he has must take a lot of thought.

I'm probably on the other end of the spectrum but I couldn't help but think about Jack Bogle and his talk about "Enough".

 

[Going Sailing]

I was a friend's house. Single guy with 11 TVs, surround sound, you name it, he's got it. I mean he's got everything. It's all first class and I would think just to keep up with everything he has must take a lot of thought.

I'm probably on the other end of the spectrum but I couldn't help but think about Jack Bogle and his talk about "Enough".

My BIL has a 10000 square foot waterfront home including 3000 square feet of workshop space. I think his house is so large because he ran out of room in his last one. He keeps everything. Has every issue of Road and Track since the first issue. It's sort of luxury hoarding. He will never finish his to-do list. If he started liquidating now he would still have stuff in 20 years. It would be a prison for me. But I guess it makes him happy. My sister made him promise that she gets to die first.

 

[Ronstar]

Lately I've been resenting my boat. Takes up too much room in the garage. I only took it out about 5 times this year. Just don't have the time. It's going along with my brewing equipment, portable generator, wood chipper, and bucket for my atv.


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[athena53]

I wouldn't say I resent stuff, but DH and I are wary about what we bring into the house. We did a really good job pitching/donating/selling things before we downsized and don't miss any of it, which is a good sign we got rid of the right things.


I'm addicted to HGTV while working out in the gym (they have earphone input jacks for the audio) and yesterday there was yet another couple who needed a bigger house mostly because their current one was jammed with stuff. I'm guessing the lady of the house was incapable of passing a garage sale without stopping and picking up a few bargains. They found a big, beautiful new home. I'd love to look inside it a year from now.


De-cluttering would have been a heck of a lot cheaper.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I am not a big fan of "stuff". The DW on the other hand does like her "stuff" and it's most likely not going anywhere. While looking at house plans (for a future home build perhaps) we have compromised on the total square footage (no more than 2,000 SF even though I would like about 1,500 SF) but she still requires "Santa Storage." Yes, she has a LOT of Christmas stuff. I think I could safely throw out about 90% of her stuff, but if I touched the Christmas stuff, I would be occupying a 6 foot deep hole in the back yard.

 

[Katiek]

I've just gone through the process of cleaning out the home of a relative after they died, and it makes me look at my stuff in a whole new way! I really want to do a big clean out, but I fear it may have to wait until after I stop working to really be effective.

 

[Sarah in SC]

she still requires "Santa Storage." Yes, she has a LOT of Christmas stuff. I think I could safely throw out about 90% of her stuff, but if I touched the Christmas stuff, I would be occupying a 6 foot deep hole in the back yard.

I am so guilty of this! I haven't put up a tree or any holiday decorations of any kind in at least 12 years, yet I still have 4 boxes of Christmas ornaments in the attic. I have no idea why.

Other decluttering activities have gone much better--we have gotten rid of lots of books, clothes, and general junk over the past year or so and it feels great!

 

[athena53]

Another thought on this, having just finished cleaning our kitchen: it is SO much easier to clean when there's less furniture and less stuff stacked on furniture or other surfaces. You can't really do a good job cleaning unless you move it to clean under it, dust it, etc. If a bookshelf is only half-occupied, it's easy. Dust the empty side, slide all the books over, dust that side, and you're done.

I feel really sorry for a friend married to a borderline hoarder; all his stuff from every hobby he ever tried and abandoned is all over the house and she is NOT to get rid of it. She can't find a clean space to set up a computer/writing area. I'd go crazy in those surroundings.

 

[Chuckanut]

An espresso machine, even the most expensive professional one, costs less than divorce. If there is no coffee house on your block, be happy that you will not be getting a summons, at least not now.

Ha

+1

 

[old woman]

I have been giving away all my stuff for the last two or three years. Sometimes it is hard letting it go so I still have too much stuff. Some is worthless like my dad's trophy from 1962 for catching a fish, you can't even give it away but seems wrong to throw it away. I am more willing to give things to people they will want, still have a room full of stuff to sort but a couple empty rooms. #winning

 

[Walt34]

We are slowly whittling away that the stuff we have too. Like Katiek, when FIL moved it was an eye-opener. Looking at the house one wouldn't have thought there was much stuff but when we had to move it all out, it was more impressive.

So that's made us more aware of what we have and how much of it we don't use. I have a couple of nice tool cabinets filled with tools that I've barely used for fifteen years - but it's hard to get rid of them because they do occasionally come in useful.

Still, we manage to fill an empty trash can almost every week.

 

[haha]

We are slowly whittling away that the stuff we have too. Like Katiek, when FIL moved it was an eye-opener. Looking at the house one wouldn't have thought there was much stuff but when we had to move it all out, it was more impressive.

So that's made us more aware of what we have and how much of it we don't use. I have a couple of nice tool cabinets filled with tools that I've barely used for fifteen years - but it's hard to get rid of them because they do occasionally come in useful.

Still, we manage to fill an empty trash can almost every week.

When my brother in law's Dad died he had one of those huge jobsite dumpsters moved to the front door, and he and some friends spent a long weekend just throwing stuff away. He just assumed he didn't want any of it, the past is the past, lets get on to the future.

This was made much easier by his single status. I think they filled 3 of them over a few days

Ha

 

[Bamaman]

After moving from Atlanta, I put our furniture in our slightly downsized house. And it took space equal to 6 single car garages to hold what was left.

Then parents and aunts with better furniture started dying, we started rotating furniture. I also inherited a full cabinet shop that's yet to be organized.

Our daughter is a single mom to 4 & 8 year olds, and I see no way they'll ever be independent. The best we can do is perpetual travel when the walls close in on us.

But we continue to whittle on liquidating our possessions. I have two refrigerators and two couches that need to go now. I'd hate for something to happen to use and our kids have to deal with all "this stuff."

 

[martyp]

We have lived in a 950 sq ft house for 34 years. You just can't have much stuff in that small of a place. I'm very good at throwing stuff away to make room for new purchases. However, now that I am ER'd I have less desire for stuff in general. I much prefer experiences.

 

[Live And Learn]

As I packed in prep for our downsize I asked myself if I would be upset if the item I was preparing to pack broke or got lost. If the answer was "no" I tossed it or gave it away. As a result I have only what I need or what I love.

 

[harley]

When my brother in law's Dad died he had one of those huge jobsite dumpsters moved to the front door, and he and some friends spent a long weekend just throwing stuff away. He just assumed he didn't want any of it, the past is the past, lets get on to the future.

This was made much easier by his single status. I think they filled 3 of them over a few days

Ha

My mom died last year, and we spent a lot of time getting rid of her stuff. We donated tons, threw more tons away, and then had all the furniture and stuff that seemed to be of better quality sold at auction. Not a fancy auction, just a local country one at the VFD. I will donate the money to the local animal shelter that she supported. But I was shocked at how little money came from it. I shouldn't have been, since most of it was of the "how much for this box of crap" - "sold for one dollar" auction style. But it drove home how little your precious items are worth to someone else.

 

[FUEGO]

I definitely have a love/hate relationship with stuff. Our stuff follows the pareto principle. Except instead of 80/20 it's probably 90/10 in our case for our stuff. As in 10% of our stuff brings us 90% of the value.

I think once DW retires for good in the near future, we will embark on a grand purge of epic proportions. Maybe make it a game like 1 item per day for a whole year (with pics).

Per Haha's sage advice, I'll just have to make sure the process doesn't encourage DW to discard me!

I dream of moving to a swank studio or 1 BR once the kids are out of the house with much less stuff than we have right now. I think about how much of our stuff right now is just stuff we own to help maintain our other stuff. Like the paint supplies I store in our shed. We need the shed mostly to store home maintenance stuff like the painting gear, lawnmower, yard tools, etc.

But I don't think DW shares the same desire for minimalist living, so we'll probably stay in our current home (the view is nice and it's relatively cheap and we can afford it).

 

[Going Sailing]

The manufacturer of the espresso maker wrote me back today. They are sorry that their machine caused harm and understand that I already bought another brand and wouldn't want a replacement of the same design. They have graciously given us a credit and we are welcome to select from the large range of products on their website.

Fantastic. More stuff. Anybody need a fancy blender or toaster oven. Brand new never been used...

 

[FreeBear]

However, now that I am ER'd I have less desire for stuff in general. I much prefer experiences.

+1 Ditto!

I pretty much stopped buying guy-toys and related "stuff". I don't miss it though because I still have lots of very nice, although older, toys to play with. These were a few decades worth of "bribes" to keep me running the mini-Megacorp rat race before FIRE.