Stupid ideas our companies came up with

[Nodak]

Not surprising at all. For some unknown reason DoD seems to be fond of making things just as complicated as possible.

[kcowan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by beowulf ...At least it wasn't as bad as Jack Welch of GE - remember him? He said (and implemented at GE) the bottom 10% of the workforce (in ratings) should be fired each year, regardless of the actual quality of their work or the effort they put into it. Unless you have some real sluggards, in a few years you are firing good people who do good jobs, but, for whatever reasons, end up in that bottom 10%.

Or you accept transfers or new hires that you can use to meet your quota!

[Emeritus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcowan Or you accept transfers or new hires that you can use to meet your quota!

I remember asking a speaker at a conference meeting which of the top ten salaried people in his company had been fired
"pour encourager les autres"

He didn't get it

Voltaire's novel Candide: "Dans ce pays-ci, il est bon de tuer de temps en temps un amiral pour encourager les autres." ("In this country, it is wise to kill an admiral from time to time to give courage to the others.")

[kcowan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emeritus ("In this country, it is wise to kill an admiral from time to time to give courage to the others.")

When they tried to push down the bell curve, I asked them which VP was going to be sacrificed? They did not get it either.

We used to always rank newcomers a 4 and explain that we had to do it and that their next review would reflect their true contribution!

The fun thing about the bell curve is when you tell you superiors that you had no 1 performers but you made one up to satisfy the statistics.

[MasterBlaster]

Quote:

Then there's the Buzzword Bingo statement:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Found in a municipal water department It is our mission to dramatically initiate performance based opportunities as well as to proactively leverage existing quality leadership skills to meet our customer's needs.

The Dilbert website used to have a mission statement generator that uses randomly picked words to come up with statements like you posted...

I don't think the "tool" is available anymore though.

Heres 3 examples of the great work Dilbert's MSG automatically produced in the past:

"We have committed to synergistically fashion high-quality products so that we may collaboratively provide access to inexpensive leadership skills in order to solve business problems"

"It is our job to continually foster world-class infrastructures as well as to quickly create principle-centered sources to meet our customer's needs"

"Our challenge is to assertively network economically sound methods of empowerment so that we may continually negotiate performance based infrastructures"