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The $2,000 whiz
Old 05-16-2008, 09:47 PM   #1
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The $2,000 whiz

Our taxpayer dollars at work: How do fighter pilots spell relief: AMXD
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Old 05-16-2008, 09:54 PM   #2
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Ok, this is a first....I'm speechless.
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Old 05-16-2008, 10:20 PM   #3
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I guess at Mach 1 you could say you were Whizzing right along.

It sure beats the alternative. Not something you want to try while driving.

Train driver in urination tragedy | Metro.co.uk

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Old 05-16-2008, 10:55 PM   #4
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Well, if you're handing $60K helmets to pilots then you'd darn well better give them another cup-shaped option, right?

This is why we need women in the submarine force-- they'll fix all the crap (metaphorical and literal) that the guys have been putting up with for decades.
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:12 PM   #5
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Well, if you're handing $60K helmets to pilots then you'd darn well better give them another cup-shaped option, right?
Yeah, or larger flashlights. I can tell you from personal experience that the two D cell model they issued us back in 1970 wasn't nearly large enough.
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:29 PM   #6
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Why not do it like the long haul truck drivers and use a plastic milk jug then throw it out the window? Truckers actually call them pi$$ bombs.
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Old 05-17-2008, 12:03 AM   #7
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StadiumPal® Portable Urinal Container for Men Attach with Leg Straps Under Pants

Stadium Gal™ Female Portable Urinal with Leg Bag, Straps, Female Urinary Pouch

I just saved $1970 a pilot.

And, you LYBM-types that get your alcohol cheap at Costco but don't know how to tactfully get it into a stadium, park, cash bar wedding, etc...

The Beerbelly: Products - the beer belly

The Beerbelly: Products - the winerack

Note, both of these make excellent gifts to go along with a stadium pal.
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Old 05-17-2008, 12:52 AM   #8
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Per Donovan:

I was impressed like everyone
When man began to fly,
Out of earthly regions,
To planets in the sky.
With total media coverage,
We watched the heros land,
As ceremoniously
They disturbed the cosmic sand.

In awe with admiration,
We listened to the talk.
Such pride felt they,
Such joy to be
Upon the moon to walk.
My romantic vision shattered,
When it was explained to me,
Spacemen wear old diapers
In which they **** and pee.

Oh, the intergalactic laxative,
Will get you from here to there.
Relieve you and believe me,
Without a worry or care.
If shitting is your problem,
When you're out there in the stars,
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars.

They don't partake like you and I,
Of beefy burger mush.
Their food is specially prepared
To dissolve into slush.
Absorbed by multi-fibers
In the super diaper suit,
Otherwise the slush would trickle
Down inside the boot.

Oh, the intergalactic laxative,
Will get you from here to there.
Relieve you and believe me,
Without a worry or care.
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars,
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars.

You may well ask now what becomes
Of liquid they consume.
A pipe is led from penis head
To a unit in the room.
The water is recirculated,
Filtered for re-use.
In case of anti-gravity -
Pee gets on the loose.

Oh, the intergalactic laxative,
Will get you from here to there.
Relieve you and believe me,
Without a worry or care.
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars,
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars.

Wherever man has conquered,
On the quest for frontiers new,
(Da da da da)
I'm glad that he's always had to do
The number one and two.
It makes it all so ordinary,
Just like you and me,
To know the greatest heroes,
They had to **** and pee.

The intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to there,
For cosmic constipation
There's none that can compare.
If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars,
Oh, the intergalactic laxative,
The intergalactic laxative,
The intergalactic laxative,
Will get you from here to Mars.
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Old 05-17-2008, 03:52 PM   #9
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Hey, it only took 5,000,000.00 to come with a cup for men and a pad for woman.....wheres the waste? 8>/
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Old 05-17-2008, 03:53 PM   #10
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I know, I know the waste is in the cup!
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Old 05-17-2008, 07:10 PM   #11
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It's the air force's #1 problem.
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Old 05-17-2008, 07:53 PM   #12
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It's the air force's #1 problem.
Waste?
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:43 PM   #13
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I'm a little pissed off.
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Old 05-17-2008, 09:24 PM   #14
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I'm a little pissed off.
Well you know..better to be pissed off than um pissed ..
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Old 05-17-2008, 10:04 PM   #15
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Maybe $2000 per whiz is a bargain.

The article says there have been 2 crashes "over the years" due to the present procedure. A modern jet costs $20-100 million You could buy LOTS of these glorified piddle-packs for the price of one crash.

Not to mention loss of life. It's a good bet that the crashes involved a fatality. Unstrapped from the seat (where the 'chute usually is in modern jets, so you are unstrapped from the parachute), head-down, fumbling with your "equipment" hardly puts a guy/gal in a good position to eject if things go wrong.

But, it DOES sound like somebody could make these things cheaper . . .
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Old 05-17-2008, 10:16 PM   #16
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Why not do it like the long haul truck drivers and use a plastic milk jug then throw it out the window?
It's really hard to teach those flight school students not to stick their heads (or other parts of their anatomy) out of the windows.

The ones who learned aren't called "graduates"-- they're called "survivors".

Submariners stand six-hour watches and have their own varied containers. I have to admit, though, that's nowhere near as bad as the tobacco chewers...
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