the answer of what do you do

[Totoro]

I've been saying I'm on a sabbatical recently.

That doesn't seem to work though, as the next question is then: what did you do before?

And then I have to talk about the consulting business I had for 2 years. Even more confusion.

Not to mention the question I see popping in their heads: Is this guy rich from selling his business?

Guess I need some more practice in socializing.

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sojourner +1 This works well for me. Seems like it's best to say right up front "I'm an XYZ consultant" where XYZ is something you've done in the past and have some knowledge of.

True. When I tell people I am a regulatory consultant that usually stops that line of inquiry cold.

[Sojourner]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Music Lover I find it disappointing that so many people feel the need to fudge or stretch the truth when the question comes up. I can see doing so when you're looking to avoid moochers, but retiring early is something to be proud of. If someone asks you for money, simply tell them that you budgeted for your retirement but not for their expenses.

For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sojourner For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.

I view the fudge as a lot more polite than "MYOFB."

[grasshopper]

After 10 years of ER no one asks anymore.

nobuddy.JPG

[audreyh1]

I'll see what I answer on this trip.

Europeans don't ask that question. It's them pesky Americans.....

What do I do? Oh - you mean for a living? I don't.

I am so tempted to answer the above, but probably won't.

[travelover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sojourner For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.

Very true. I think that our natural initial reaction is to feel like our work ethic is being scrutinized, but in reality the questioner is just trying to square their situation with our own.

[user5027]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brewer12345 True. When I tell people I am a regulatory consultant that usually stops that line of inquiry cold.

If you really want to cut it short tell them you are an investigator for the IRS.

[scrabbler1]

How much I say in my reply depends on how well I know the person and how long I have known the person asking. I won't hesitate to include my volunteer work and my expanded hobbies in my reply. As for how I "did it," I will often say, "no kids, no debts." I will often say I cashed in a lot of valuable company stock. If it seems like I am bragging a bit, so be it. They asked the question, they took the risk of a somewhat conceited reply.


I haven't bought a car since I ERed; the last car I bought was in 2007 when I was still working (part-time). I didn't wear any specific clothing, just my typical semi-casual, semi-slob outfits!


BTW great thread, great variety of replies.

[Sarah in SC]

DH calls it sabbatical, and when pressed, says he's living off his still-working wife. He can look busier doing nothing than just about anyone I know, though, so I doubt he gets asked too much.

And grasshopper, in that hat, I'm pretty sure no one is asking you what you do for a living, lol!

[MichaelB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC He can look busier doing nothing than just about anyone I know

That's a gift. Maybe he could share the secret or give classes? He doesn't have to charge, it could be his contribution to ER'dom ..

[utrecht]

Ive been to about 10 different doctors, MRI offices, surgery centers in the past 3 months. They all asked who my employer is. I told them all that I was retired. Everyone one of them looked at me like I was crazy and said I was too young to retire. I usually say I'm older than I look, which I am. The friendly ones asked what I used to do but most of them were just trying to get the paperwork filled out.

[Which Roger]

When someone asked me if I'm retired, I respond "for now I am." That leaves them thinking that I'm considering going back to w*rk at some point and they shut up. It also does not convey whether I'm FI or whether I will need to go back to w*rk for financial reasons, which I like because my financial status is nobody else's business.

[pb4uski]

It took me a while, but now I am quite comfortable just saying "I'm retired". I don't get a lot of follow-up questions so I'm not sure if I look old enough to be retired or if they just think that I retired early.

[jollystomper]

I have a brother who is retired that responds with "Independent Consultant" and even has business cards with that on it. If asked further on "what do you consult on", he responds with "anything you want to pay me for to get my opinion".

[Major Tom]

It's been a while since this question came up. (I am now waiting for the next "What's your WR" thread ) But seriously.........

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover Very true. I think that our natural initial reaction is to feel like our work ethic is being scrutinized, but in reality the questioner is just trying to square their situation with our own.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midpack But this is really about your reaction, not theirs. It really shouldn't matter much how others react, you should be able to take it in stride given the surprise element above. We've all experienced it, many resort to euphemisms or changing the subject if it bothers them. If that works for you, go for it.

+1 to both of these. Tell them whatever you feel is best, to get you through the day - and congratulations on ER'ing!

[AnIntentionalRoad]

Yes, men deal with this same issue.

Sent from my SM-T237P using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

[truenorth418]

Like some others here, I sometimes fudge if I want to be considerate and not be seen as bragging. However, I find this sometimes leads the other person down the wrong path, and they ask me a bunch of irrelevant follow up questions about "consulting" or "hiatus", which is simply not the reality.

The truth is, achieving ER was a long-time goal of mine (though one I largely kept to myself) and one of my proudest achievements. And so, recently, I have become much more comfortable and open about it with people, sometimes even defiant.

One recent weekday afternoon I was lounging around in my neighborhood Starbucks reading my Kindle and this guy came up with an iPad and asked me to participate in a survey. I pushed back at first, but he was persistent and said it would only be a few short questions, so I said fine, whatever.

At the end of the survey, he asked me a few demographic questions, including "What is your occupation?".

I said, "I'm retired."

He looked at me, rolled his eyes, clearly thinking I was yanking his chain. I am 51 years old and look my age. I looked over at the iPad, and I saw that he checked the box for "Unemployed".

I raised my voice a little and said, "Ahem, excuse me, please change that answer. I am not unemployed. I said: 'I AM RETIRED'."

And he made the change, reluctantly, but I don't think he believed me.

[steelyman]

Good answer, truenorth418.

I recently inquired about "benefits" for retirees. Mainly I was interested in a lifetime ".edu" email, which I figured would at least LOOK respectable.

But no, the records correctly say I resigned. I said, "Well, what about a compomise? Can you classify me as 'impeached'? I think we know how to do that around here.". The benefits person thought that was hilarious, so I was happy, email address or not.

[braumeister]

For the last several years, I simply say "I'm retired." and that usually ends it. I'm at the point where I look old enough for that.

In earlier years, with someone I didn't know, I often used "I'm not working right now." and that usually stopped the conversation equally well. They just assumed I was unemployed and looking for a job.