The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves...

[bssc]

When I worked at the American <insert profession> Association, the president hired one of his buddies, an organizational psychologist, to do an employee satisfaction survey. The only thing we heard was that management didn't do too well and were looking at ways to address it. The President and 6 out of 7 of his VPs resigned within a year.

[sgeeeee]

I was working for megacorp several years ago when the main cretin CEO launched a new corporate initiative called Individual Dignity Entitlement. The program involved all employees sitting down with their supervisor and answering & discussing several questions. The first questions was something like, "Do you have a meaningful and fullfiling job?" Each of us had to go to special indoctrination training to learn about this bullsh#t bold new initiative.

It turns out that I had already decided to leave this cesspool of a company and was negotiating terms of my escape new employment when the training started. I sat quietly listening to several hours of drivel information packed presentations and couldn't help but notice that no one seemed enthused. The instructor noticed too. Finally she pleaded with the class, "Someone please tell me why no one seems excited about this opportunity to discuss important job issues with your supervisors."

One of the other guys in the class finally spoke up and said something like, "I've watched this company systematically promote the biggest a##holes they could find through the ranks of management. Now you want us to believe that a training class and discussion is going to change the fact that they are all raging a##holes?"

I spewed milk through my nose all over the desk in front of me and choked from laughing so hard. The class was over.

[johnlw]

We recently went through this B.S. charade where I work. As expected, the surveys revealed that employees think management basically sucks. This prompted the follow on B.S. charade that consisted of each team discussing what could be done to improve things with their manager, then ranking the top 3 suggestions for improvement. Each manager was then supposed to bring that information to upper management so "action plans" could be put in place to improve things.

The kicker is that all of this was being done against a background of massive funding cuts against all our projects and rumors of imminent layoffs.

John

[2B]

I always liked these when I was in management. I had a combination of hourly and salariedwho was in the last stages of the discipline process for not doing anything at work applicable to what he was supposed to do. I assume it was his comment that said his supervisor (me) was "insensitive, deadline driven and consistently harsh." Unfortunately, I had him terminated before the survey results came back but anyone with that kind of honesty deserved to be saved.

The semi-mega corp I worked for had the survey coded by department without telling anyone. When the results came out by department, people were outraged. It was interesting that I was the only dept. head who had an overwhelmingly positive "could be trusted and believed" section. Other than that, I was just another jerk. Ultimately, a manager had to implement policy even if it was stupid.

When layoffs came, I was the first senior manager cut. I was also closest to full pension vesting so I can't claim being rated high on trust was a cause for termination.

[Jeb-NY]

In my pre-RE life, the MegCorp I worked for did these surveys annually. The last few years I worked for a manager that was always top rated on the survey (helped me survive). He was the one used as an example to how it should be done. Recently heard he got demoted. Don't know the details, may have been his choice to get out of the rat race, but looks to me that the other managers found a way to raise their scores.

Jeb

[Arc]

I've also been through a few of these. Seems to me that it simply boils down to treating people like you want to be treated - unless it affects the bottom line!

The issue that is a constant for us is we can never communicate enough - except when it comes to rolling out the annual increase in employee particpation in health insurance - I can honestly say we've mastered that one.

[Nords]

Spouse had a CO who was a big Covey fan. He'd even gone to the effort/expense of getting certified as a Covey trainer and had all of his officers go to the offsite training program, administered by him.

However like many COs he was a little intense, a lot hypercompetitive, fixated upon certain initiatives, and difficult to get along with. This friction led to some negative comments on the Navy's annual "command climate" survey that had to be formally addressed in a response up the Navy's administrative chain of command. Of course this could make him look bad so he had to take action to either silence the complainers or get better data. Actually fixing the command climate wasn't considered an option, let alone assigned a priority.

So he administered a Covey version of the survey and sent the data package off to Covey HQ for collating & analysis. The results were so horribly negative that a Covey exec, a retired Navy O-6, personally phoned the CO to ask what the heck he was doing with his command.

That definitely wasn't what he wanted to hear so Covey was no longer considered a part of his toolkit. Unfortunately someone (the retired O-6?) leaked the whole story to the Navy's command-climate people, and let's just say that things went downhill from there...

I retired before the Navy completed testing the 360-degree evaluation process. Anyone know if that's still alive?

[Lazarus]

Years ago we had a 360 degree management feedback process. It was called Upward Assessment. The survey was provided on a floppy disk that we were suppose to hand back to the secretary after we finished it! Almost no one turned it in because it was obviously not anonymous. In fact those of us who did not turn it in were chastised. So they were watching. But I saved the best part for last. The name of the program on the floppy label.

up_ass.exe

I kid you not.

[Outtahere]

The previous owner of my company was a big Covey convert. Managers all had to attend the classes and carry our planner with us at all times..... he left........ I burned mine

[Zoocat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bssc I remember at my university that, since the student survey actually counted towards tenure, that the professor had to seal the envelope with the surveys in it in front of the class and hand it to a student to walk over to the deans office with them.

True at the U. where I taught as well. I would step out of the classroom while the students filled out their reviews. I remember it was slightly annoying and humiliating to me at the time. A summary of the reviews would appear in my mailbox some time later. The worst, and best, comments were always quoted. It was a common conclusion among faculty that students who received low grades often took their revenge in the review form. They were not taken very seriously, unless a hugely negative pattern emerged over time.

[lowflyer]

Been there, done that. I spent 20 years involved in all manner of this nonsense. It takes on many forms, but the result is almost always the same. Three thoughts come to mind:

1. Stop the madness!

2. Can't we all just get along?

3. Thank heavens for ER.

[JohnEyles]

One big reason that I negotiated with my old employer to quit my full-time
gig and become an occasional contractor, besides the obvious desire to work
less, was to have what I consider a more honest employment arrangement:
"you need work done, I can do it, you pay me money, I will do it".

All the other BS goes out the window. I no longer pretend like I give a sh*t
about the five-year plan, the mission statement, where I see myself in five
years, what the CEO has so say at the all-hands' meeting, my performance
review.

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustyShackleford One big reason that I negotiated with my old employer to quit my full-time gig and become an occasional contractor, besides the obvious desire to work less, was to have what I consider a more honest employment arrangement: "you need work done, I can do it, you pay me money, I will do it". All the other BS goes out the window. I no longer pretend like I give a sh*t about the five-year plan, the mission statement, where I see myself in five years, what the CEO has so say at the all-hands' meeting, my performance review.

One of my all time Dilbert moments was when they wanted to create a 'vision statement', and they outsourced the composition thereof.

[bssc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oldbabe True at the U. where I taught as well.

Georgetown?

[bssc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khan One of my all time Dilbert moments was when they wanted to create a 'vision statement', and they outsourced the composition thereof.

That is what consultants are for. We had loads of Arthur Andersen consultants until they went under. On the other hand, did you want your management actually try to write a vision statement. I think that there was a Dilbert on that too.

[SteveR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outtahere The previous owner of my company was a big Covey convert. Managers all had to attend the classes and carry our planner with us at all times..... he left........ I burned mine

I can identify with that one. Franklin-Covey has their headquarters here. I think it is a major LDS requirement for the loyal to plan their lives down to the second they pass on. Everyone here seems to have a Day Planner..even see them in the grocery stores by women with 6 kids in tow.

A former employer brought in Steven Covey to "work" with the group on the crap he is feeding companies which they gladly fork over tons of money so he can keep his sport car collection growing. Some of his stuff is just common sense written down. Some of it is unique to Covey and has made him tons of money. Good for him but I don't buy most of it. I found a lot of it to be a waste of time and effort.

[savedapile]

Like Rusty I also quit full time and came back as a contractor. It has been amusing to say the least to just have to come in and do a job. No BS surveys, no training,way fewer meetings. It is very freeing.

The other day we were in a meeting and the boss said something that was so absurd I could not contain a small burst of laughter. The boss was in a remote location and on speakerphone but knew out of the eight of us in the room it was me. She talked to me about it afterwards but I told her it just seemed so silly to me. Maybe I'll get my way and I won't have to go to any more of these "critical" meetings. Because I don't do all the BS the other employees are doing I get half as much more work done in the same time so they aren't getting rid of me anytime soon.

And yes, they are doing a 360 evaluation.

The new thing is that you get a yearly performance eval. Every month each person meets with their manager and goes over their progress towards their goals. Then the manager meets with their manager. And so on. More time away from your desk and not doing the actual job.

[Donzo]

The last 5 years at megacorp we did 180 and 360 degree surveys. I think other managers knew I would not "screw them over" - one time I had to fill out 16 surveys for my colleages. What a waste of time. I don't think anyone really looked at the results. I wish I could have hired the salesman that sold this crock to the co. VP

[bssc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by savedapile The new thing is that you get a yearly performance eval. Every month each person meets with their manager and goes over their progress towards their goals. Then the manager meets with their manager. And so on. More time away from your desk and not doing the actual job.

I think that it makes the HR department feel happy which makes management feel happy. It gives the illusion of doing something instead of sitting still. Just remember that going in the wrong direction is still decisionmaking.

[riskadverse]

Dear Staff,

Due to the current Iraq war and subsequent slowdown of
the economy, Management has decided to implement a
scheme to put workers 40 years of age or older on
early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Management
to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After
Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be
reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering
Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED
as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS
Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES
(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel with Early
Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons staying on will receive as much road apples (Special
High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has
always prided itself on the amount of road apples it gives to
employees.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough road apples,
please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor.
They have been trained to give you all the road apples you
can handle.

THE MANAGEMENT