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Old 11-30-2010, 07:30 PM   #201
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Somehow I have trouble imagining that.
Ok...that's two Gs in Tigger...have to get your name right when I put you in my will.

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I'm sorry for your troubles Bimmer..
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Old 11-30-2010, 08:33 PM   #202
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DD is doing great, which is good news. She is a great kid, and pretty easy most of the time.

They are asking for 50/50 custody, but with me paying 100% of all costs since wife is not working. I hope the fact that she got let go for cause factors in somewhere.

I'm trying to remember that the figures are just what her lawyer is asking for. Hopefully not what the judge grants.
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Old 11-30-2010, 08:56 PM   #203
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Something just occurred to me.... I get in a twist thinkin' about if I'd remarry or not... Hmmm, could be when/if I become single again, no one would even look in my direction. Problem solved!

I ain't got nuthin' to worry about!
Yup. you would be single all of about 15 minutes until the forum folks found out........
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Old 11-30-2010, 09:07 PM   #204
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bbbamI will have to change her will again!
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Old 11-30-2010, 09:30 PM   #205
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Hmmm, could be when/if I become single again, no one would even look in my direction. Problem solved!
I ain't got nuthin' to worry about!
They'd just be interested in you for your big... boots motorcycle.
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Old 11-30-2010, 09:39 PM   #206
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Mmmm...looks like I need to sharpen mah pencil.....

Ahhhhh lordy...thanks y'all I needed the laughs.
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:15 PM   #207
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You do your will in pencil, so that you can erase and enter in a new name every 5 minutes?
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:38 PM   #208
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You do your will in pencil, so that you can erase and enter in a new name every 5 minutes?
Nah...I usually wait at least half an hour....
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Old 12-01-2010, 09:04 AM   #209
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Ouch, just received a motion in the mail tonight. They are seeking spousal support. So, we shall see if the legal system thinks college educated women with working potential are entitled to spousal support.

Anyone got an extra 2K a month?
See my disclaimer below. Based on my vague recollection of family law for my jurisdiction (which may vary from yours), they can impute income on a non-working spouse who has earning potential.

And if the award is based on zero income for her, you can usually petition to modify spousal support awards later based on changed circumstances. Your lawyer will tell you all the details of course.



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DD is doing great, which is good news. She is a great kid, and pretty easy most of the time.

They are asking for 50/50 custody, but with me paying 100% of all costs since wife is not working. I hope the fact that she got let go for cause factors in somewhere.

I'm trying to remember that the figures are just what her lawyer is asking for. Hopefully not what the judge grants.
If your state has the child support formulas like my state, then your ex will probably not be liable for any child support right now. But they can possibly impute income for this purpose and you can probably motion the court to modify child support later based on changed circumstances if the ex gets a job (or impute income if she refuses to work).
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Old 12-01-2010, 05:56 PM   #210
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I was watching Jeopardy the other day and one of the contestants mentioned that she had tried naked bungee jumping. I would be more likely to do this than to get married again.
I loved being married, and it was the right thing for me back in the day. Hubby and I married in our early 20's when we were both wet behind the ears and very much in love. I remember when he walked into the room in those early days he took my breathe away, and I thought everything about him was perfect (certainly couldn't feel like that about anyone ever again).
But, it was a lot of work and compromise and certainly no fairy tale as the years went on.
I'm not willing to work that hard on a relationship at this point in my life. I think my energies are better spent in self discovery and honing my independence.
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Old 12-01-2010, 06:10 PM   #211
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We have been married 43 years. We knew each other about a year and a half, and only dated nine or ten times during that time. We got lucky! I don't think I would marry again if something happened to DW. I don't really think I could find someone that would be willing to put up with me over a long term and marvel that DW has!
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Old 12-02-2010, 01:57 AM   #212
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Someday we'll be reading about the first hostile, contested gay divorce. (If/when gay marriages are legalized, it will follow that some will end in divorce.) Especially one where they've adopted children and therefore the process has all the pain and anguish of a hetero divorce.

Be careful what you ask for!
From 2004: CBC News Indepth: Same Sex Rights
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Old 12-02-2010, 07:39 AM   #213
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Wow - as usual, late to the thread. Based on the topic, I can understand why one would be hesitant to remarry in their middle-age/late life. Wisdom comes with age and experience (you hope) and you probably can do a better job of analyzing the decision. I think the adages of "know yourself" and "to thine own self be true" are the most important.

As for the alimony/child support issue - yes, alimony is still around. I think that w2r and some of the other women posters here are not in the norm, i.e. highly educated professionals who have had a successful career track. I always try to remember the sword cuts both way, i.e. the courts will decide on the economics of the situation, so if you are the primary breadwinner, you will be the primary stuckee. Hazards of equality :-)

So, in my case, second marriage is much better than the first - chalk it up to knowing myself better and being realistic regarding the expectations of a relationship. Also, constant communication and both of us looking at this as a 'partnership' romantically and financially. Similar goals and values are the key underpinning. Will we change, perhaps, but I think that around your mid 30's or so you have much better understanding of who you are, so you can make better decisions. Will we dump one or the other in our 60s? Maybe. But the saving grace is we've made sure that we each have the financial means to go it alone if need be, so the finances won't be the issue. That takes A LOT of pressure off the relationship in my estimation.

As for the fitness angle Nords brings up - yup, you don't want to get too slovenly - it says more about your self-esteem than anything else. For us, activity is such an important part of what we like, that we try to at least maintain some semblance of fitness - we like to hike, ski and play badminton too much - as well as travel. You must do some fitness activities to enjoy those activites, especially as you get older - otherwise it hurts too much.

Flash back - I wan't the one who actually wanted to get married, he was - it was important to him. Now in our circumstance, the military made it compulsory for us to be together easily, however, so far it has worked out very well. And we've had some issues, but we've weathered them well - it's such that it seems like we've been together for a much longer time than we have. It's a nice feeling to have a partner. I like it a lot.
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Old 12-02-2010, 10:19 AM   #214
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And we've had some issues, but we've weathered them well - it's such that it seems like we've been together for a much longer time than we have. It's a nice feeling to have a partner. I like it a lot.
Sounds like a real success. Congratulations!

Ha
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Old 12-02-2010, 01:07 PM   #215
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This thread reminds me of a joke. Do married men live longer than single men, or does it just seem longer?
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Old 12-02-2010, 01:52 PM   #216
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This thread reminds me of a joke. Do married men live longer than single men, or does it just seem longer?
It seems longer.......... I saw a bumper sticker a number of years ago that read: Marriage is a method by which woman can slowly kill their spouses over time with no legal ramifications..........
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Old 12-02-2010, 07:18 PM   #217
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I seem to go back and forth on the remarriage issue. However, I must confess; when I dig down deep...I would not get involved with a man that would never consider the possibility of marriage.
I also share this opinion. (layers of reasons) I had no idea I was so old fashioned! I know "shacking up" for years is the norm in Northern Europe, but continue to be amazed how common it has become here! I really have no intention of being super single in my 60's & 70's!

(divorced for over 10 years - not looking to just "marry" someone - rather picky - he needs his own darn money and must be comfortable in his own skin - and full of traits I admire)
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Old 12-02-2010, 07:41 PM   #218
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Not only will not again marry, but will not cohabitate.
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Old 12-02-2010, 09:07 PM   #219
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The only remarriages that I don't get is when they are both over eighty or late seventies . What is that about ?
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Old 12-02-2010, 09:14 PM   #220
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Companionship! and they don't want to live in sin.
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