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12-18-2010, 01:56 PM
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#241
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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It only seems like forever...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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12-20-2010, 01:55 AM
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#242
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
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I have never been married and intend to stay that way. No complications.
__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
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12-20-2010, 05:26 AM
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#243
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 388
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Quote:
Originally Posted by obgyn65
I have never been married and intend to stay that way. No complications.
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It seems logical that an obgyn would want to avoid complications.
+1 for consistency!
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12-20-2010, 08:43 AM
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#244
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,431
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The Higher Risks of Cohabitation - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com
"Remarriage may be less beneficial among those nearing retirement age. Some recent studies have found that later-life cohabitations are more stable than those entered into by younger adults, though they are still less durable than remarriages. There may be other reasons to avoid remarriages among those who are retirement-aged; concerns with children’s inheritance, reliance on a former spouse’s pension, or a desire sometimes expressed by widows to enjoy the chance to do what they want without concerning themselves with another’s wishes."
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12-20-2010, 08:50 AM
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#245
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,431
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How to Make It Work This Time
How to Make a Second Marriage Work - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com
"Over the years, I have taken oral histories of many couples whose second marriage had lasted longer than their first marriage and was still going strong. In almost every case, two things stood out. One was the willingness of these individuals to admit what they had done wrong the first time around, instead of putting all the blame on their former spouse. The second was that both spouses felt they had discarded older gender-stereotyped attitudes and behavior that had created problems in their first marriage."
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12-20-2010, 10:08 AM
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#246
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omni550
The Higher Risks of Cohabitation - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com
"Remarriage may be less beneficial among those nearing retirement age. Some recent studies have found that later-life cohabitations are more stable than those entered into by younger adults, though they are still less durable than remarriages. There may be other reasons to avoid remarriages among those who are retirement-aged; concerns with children’s inheritance, reliance on a former spouse’s pension, or a desire sometimes expressed by widows to enjoy the chance to do what they want without concerning themselves with another’s wishes."
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Odd that men in this situation don't mention this same thing. After all, we are not in Saudi Arabia. In America married women control their husbands at least as much as the reverse.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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12-20-2010, 10:35 AM
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#247
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
Odd that men in this situation don't mention this same thing. After all, we are not in Saudi Arabia. In America married women control their husbands at least as much as the reverse.
Ha
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As you know Ha, Spain is no different, never mind all that "macho" stuff
__________________
I get by with a little help from my friends....ta ta ta ta ta...
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12-20-2010, 11:02 AM
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#248
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 38,001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omni550
How to Make It Work This Time
How to Make a Second Marriage Work - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com
"Over the years, I have taken oral histories of many couples whose second marriage had lasted longer than their first marriage and was still going strong. In almost every case, two things stood out. One was the willingness of these individuals to admit what they had done wrong the first time around, instead of putting all the blame on their former spouse. The second was that both spouses felt they had discarded older gender-stereotyped attitudes and behavior that had created problems in their first marriage."
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I would say this is definitely true in my case, although it is my husband's first. In his case he was almost 36 when we married, and I think that also helps, even though it's not ideal for having children unless the wife is several years younger.
Audrey
__________________
Retired since summer 1999.
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12-21-2010, 06:09 PM
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#249
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,401
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Quote:
Originally Posted by obgyn65
I have never been married and intend to stay that way. No complications.
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Like me, you know too much!
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12-21-2010, 07:18 PM
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#250
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 939
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
From what I observe of The Florida older singles the sins are
Lusting after the early bird special
Wearing your pants to high
Wearing awful colored pants
Staying in the left lane when you have no intention of passing anyone
Keeping your blinker on whether you are turning or not
Having two for one Martini's and driving in my neighborhood
Going as couples to the grocery store and taking up the whole aisle
and last but not least referring to your wife as the little woman when she is clearly not little
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ROTFLMAO! Thanks, I needed this!
__________________
I used to be “Thinker25” here. Retired at 62, now 73 (in 2021), no regrets & single again. I love it. I’m in RI.
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12-21-2010, 07:30 PM
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#251
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,971
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Speaking of second marriages, this may be my very favorite New York Times wedding story. The narcissism leaps from the page.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fa...+xK8vblOmPLDVA
__________________
Living an analog life in the Digital Age.
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12-21-2010, 08:44 PM
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#252
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,856
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby
The narcissism leaps from the page.
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I wonder how long this one will last... will the newspaper get to do an annual followup?
__________________
*
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
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12-21-2010, 08:51 PM
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#253
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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So Ms. Riddell was surprised to find herself eagerly looking for Mr. Partilla at school events — and missing him when he wasn’t there. “I didn’t admit to anyone how I felt,” she said. “To even think about it was disruptive and disloyal.
Isn't this what used to be called a crush? Does every crush merit a new set of wedding vows and a couple broken families?
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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12-21-2010, 10:21 PM
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#254
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,294
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__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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12-21-2010, 10:44 PM
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#255
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever
but there's a reason the majority of divorces post-60 are initiated by women.
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I think I am too obtuse to figure out from your post what that reason is. Would you mind going into greater detail?
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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12-22-2010, 08:22 AM
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#257
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigger
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Phil himself is not delusional enough to get married.
I like to people watch. Last night I was in a downtown Office Depot, waiting for a print job and observing the young couple next to me. They were white, like really white, and dressed conservatively. I couldn't hear them talk. The man could easily have passed for American except for some subtle differences in the way he stood. The woman was way too tuned in to the man for an American woman other than a hooker, but she wasn't dressed well enough or pretty enough to be a call girl. I have seen very blanco Spanish speaking whites in USA, but this couple didn't have that flash and glitz of upscale Colombians or Venezuelans, and the woman was wearing flats. They might have been Russian, but I am pretty good at identifying Russians and the guy was not aggro enough. Finally they turned more toward me and I heard them speaking Spanish, very clean easily understood Spanish, but without the Iberian lisp, and also without the Argentine salting with Italian mannerisms and words. Possibly I have seen my first Uruguayans?
Anyway, in a nutshell she was playing to him, in an easygoing way that appeared ingrained rather than amped up to do some persuading job on him. She did not seem to be preoccupied with the American woman's number one preoccupation- "Let no one assume that I am not identical or superior to a man in every important way, except that I am a morally higher being; and let no man try to put anything over on me.”
Many of us men can see the justice in this. And in a perhaps unrelated development, ladies may find us to be "commitment phobic". Sometimes it is nobody’s fault, institutions just get outdated.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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12-22-2010, 10:24 AM
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#258
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
I think I am too obtuse to figure out from your post what that reason is. Would you mind going into greater detail?
Ha
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It's not my reason, it's the comment on p. 20 by the male authors of Younger Next Year for Women (which is a prime example of how an index makes a book much more useful, as this book does not have one and it is really hard to find where the authors said things):
Quote:
One of the interesting things we learned in the course of doing this book is that there are a tremendous number of divorces after age sixty and that women initiate two-thirds of them. It makes a certain amount of sense, when you think about it. A lot of women, as they come into their own in their fifties and sixties, are feeling that they've had enough of caregiving for a while. They're ready to focus on...their own interests and goals.
...He's leaking testosterone, big time.... he's bored stupid and scared to death but he's still throwing his weight around and telling you what to do.... He's going to do two things: he's going to try to depend on you for everything, and he's still going to try to give you some much needed advice on how to run your life....
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After they rip into the offensive stereotype of the retired male (to such an extent that one wonders why the wife is waiting til he's retired to file for divorce), they tell us (the women readers this book is aimed at) to teach him new tricks and keep him around.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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12-22-2010, 10:32 AM
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#259
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever
It's not my reason, it's the comment on p. 20 by the male authors of Younger Next Year for Women (which is a prime example of how an index makes a book much more useful, as this book does not have one and it is really hard to find where the authors said things):
After they rip into the offensive stereotype of the retired male (to such an extent that one wonders why the wife is waiting til he's retired to file for divorce), they tell us (the women readers this book is aimed at) to teach him new tricks and keep him around.
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OK, I see. Thanks for making the effort to find it and explain. I think that unfortunately this is often more or less correct. Young women sometimes seem to seek this sort of dominance behavior from men, but I don't see too much of this feminine attitude lasting into middle age, while as men we often go right ahead dispensing unwelcome "help".
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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12-22-2010, 12:24 PM
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#260
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,873
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever
It's not my reason, it's the comment on p. 20 by the male authors of Younger Next Year for Women...:
Quote:
One of the interesting things we learned in the course of doing this book is that there are a tremendous number of divorces after age sixty and that women initiate two-thirds of them. It makes a certain amount of sense, when you think about it.....
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I have no idea what the real statistics are but from 16 years in Family Law as a paralegal my observation is that the one who has the initial papers drawn up is not always the person who initiates the proceedings. In my state there is a petitioner and a respondent. You might think the petitioner is the original person who wants the divorce but that may not always be the case. Often the two parties have attorneys already negotiating before the initial papers are drawn up; in many cases I saw, the petitioner was the party whose attorney had someone available in the office to draw up the papers. Who becomes petitioner apparently is negotiable, IMO.
I am not an attorney.
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