|
|
Time magazine "Who Needs Marriage? A Changing Institution"
11-30-2010, 11:26 AM
|
#181
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,431
|
Time magazine "Who Needs Marriage? A Changing Institution"
"What we found is that marriage, whatever its social, spiritual or symbolic appeal, is in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be."
----
"Even more surprising: overwhelmingly, Americans still venerate marriage enough to want to try it. About 70% of us have been married at least once, according to the 2010 Census. The Pew poll found that although 44% of Americans under 30 believe marriage is heading for extinction, only 5% of those in that age group do not want to get married. Sociologists note that Americans have a rate of marriage — and of remarriage — among the highest in the Western world."
-----
"Well-off women don't need to stay in a marriage that doesn't make them happy; two-thirds of all divorces, it's estimated, are initiated by wives."
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2031962-2,00.html#ixzz16n7QqovI
omni
|
|
|
|
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!
Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!
|
11-30-2010, 12:15 PM
|
#182
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 388
|
Reading about all the risks and problems of marriage, I can't help wondering if gay marriage is actually a conspiracy meant to make sure that segment of the population gets its share of misery.
(joooking. I hope I haven't offended anyone)
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 12:30 PM
|
#183
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by omni550
"What we found is that marriage, whatever its social, spiritual or symbolic appeal, is in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be."
----
"Even more surprising: overwhelmingly, Americans still venerate marriage enough to want to try it. About 70% of us have been married at least once, according to the 2010 Census. The Pew poll found that although 44% of Americans under 30 believe marriage is heading for extinction, only 5% of those in that age group do not want to get married. Sociologists note that Americans have a rate of marriage — and of remarriage — among the highest in the Western world."
-----
"Well-off women don't need to stay in a marriage that doesn't make them happy; two-thirds of all divorces, it's estimated, are initiated by wives."
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2031962-2,00.html#ixzz16n7QqovI
omni
|
I grabbed this from your interesting article- Could living together become respected and widespread enough that it challenged the favored-nation state of marriage? The American Law Institute has recommended extending some of the rights spouses have to cohabiting partners.
Now, whyever might that be
So whatever you may think you are walking into today-remember that people who check into a roach motel do not usually understand the arduous checkout procedures.
Also, I would like to remind some of you that eschewing marriage and/or cohabitation does not mean eschewing love, or warmth, or happiness, or caring. And, human beings got along very well for a very long time with no notion of romantic love. The jury is still out on all of this, I believe.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 12:58 PM
|
#184
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by donheff
Wow. I just came back to this thread and skimmed through. It seems like the vast majority are down on marriage.
|
I don't think so Don.
Quote:
I would not rush into another marriage if DW died. And, if I fell in love with someone I would not consider it without a carefully thought out pre-nup.
|
That's what I hear most people saying.
We're talking about mid-life remarriages. Yes, a few folks with strong feelings about marriage are just commenting in general, but I think the trend is to recognize the author's point that there are financial/business issues to recognize and deal with prior to a remarriage, especially following a long marriage with children, substantial assets, etc. My own thoughts are very much in line with yours.
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 01:02 PM
|
#185
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigger
Reading about all the risks and problems of marriage, I can't help wondering if gay marriage is actually a conspiracy meant to make sure that segment of the population gets its share of misery.
(joooking. I hope I haven't offended anyone)
|
Someday we'll be reading about the first hostile, contested gay divorce. (If/when gay marriages are legalized, it will follow that some will end in divorce.) Especially one where they've adopted children and therefore the process has all the pain and anguish of a hetero divorce.
Be careful what you ask for!
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 01:34 PM
|
#186
|
Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by youbet
Someday we'll be reading about the first hostile, contested gay divorce. (If/when gay marriages are legalized, it will follow that some will end in divorce.) Especially one where they've adopted children and therefore the process has all the pain and anguish of a hetero divorce.
Be careful what you ask for!
|
First Gay Marriage, Now Gay Divorce - U.S. & World - FOXNews.com
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 01:51 PM
|
#187
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alberta/Ontario/ Arizona
Posts: 3,393
|
Geez This thread gets better and better. Good recent posts from Nords, Mouse and Ha. Nords- The whole health and fitness thing is , in my opinion one of the greatest benefits of ER. More time should mean more time devoted to fitness. DW and I work out strenuously virtually every day. Probably in the best shape of our lives. A real shame that some let things go. As far as gay marriage is concerned ,I never figured out why some would want to do that. Gay divorce? How messy! Mouse- Agree that if you don't at least leave open the possibility of remarriage one might become hard, isolated and lonely as time goes on. Powerful thoughts being expressed here. Thanks.
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 01:58 PM
|
#188
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
|
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 02:10 PM
|
#189
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by youbet
Thank goodness they were able to work out a settlement for the cats!
|
Careful Dude, them might be fighting words around these parts...
And in related business, I would like to nominate you as this week's most reliably sarcastic poster who never fails to maintain the humorous tone.
I imagine that this honor, like the America's Cup, might move from poster to poster not infrequently.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 02:22 PM
|
#190
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,566
|
See what happens when cats and dogs start sleeping together? Oh, no, wait, that was another thread. Never mind.
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 02:23 PM
|
#191
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
...The "Younger Next Year" book refers to this accelerated aging as the "Old Fred"* phenomenon. And although the divorce may be precipitated by the other person's filing, it could be argued that the marriage began ending when the first person stopped taking care of themselves. I'm all about the care & cherish part of the wedding vows, but I'm more motivated to uphold my part of that bargain if spouse upholds her own part for herself as well. Luckily what I've noticed in my classmates has scared her even worse than it's scared me.
*If you're a guy, no matter what physical condition you happen to be in right now, then I'd strongly recommend reading "Younger Next Year For Women" to see what they're planning to do to them about this issue. You've been warned.
|
Funny you bring up "Old Fred" from the Younger Next Year books . I made DH read the original book.
I have the "for Women" version and one of the important things I took away from it is that "Old Fred" is still better than "No Fred" for the most part. but there's a reason the majority of divorces post-60 are initiated by women. (The MD part of the writing team also points out without citation, on p. 313 that marriage brings a major increase in longevity to men and a minor one to women--and yes, I'm throwing that big fat softball slow and easy right over home plate.)
To each his own--whatever floats your boat.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 03:23 PM
|
#192
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,596
|
Could some of this be due to peer pressure--old ladies keeping their Freds around, so they can enjoy the envy of Fred-less old ladies?
Amethyst
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever
one of the important things I took away from it is that "Old Fred" is still better than "No Fred" for the most part.
|
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 03:47 PM
|
#193
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
Could some of this be due to peer pressure--old ladies keeping their Freds around, so they can enjoy the envy of Fred-less old ladies?
Amethyst
|
My Heavens Amethyst, such an uncharitable view of the older female psyche.
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 03:54 PM
|
#194
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
Could some of this be due to peer pressure--old ladies keeping their Freds around, so they can enjoy the envy of Fred-less old ladies?
Amethyst
|
This was an idea the authors of the book put forth, so I don't think so.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 04:11 PM
|
#195
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,294
|
Something just occurred to me.... I get in a twist thinkin' about if I'd remarry or not... Hmmm, could be when/if I become single again, no one would even look in my direction. Problem solved!
I ain't got nuthin' to worry about!
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 05:29 PM
|
#196
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 388
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI
Hmmm, could be when/if I become single again, no one would even look in my direction. Problem solved!
|
Somehow I have trouble imagining that.
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 05:48 PM
|
#197
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,645
|
Ouch, just received a motion in the mail tonight. They are seeking spousal support. So, we shall see if the legal system thinks college educated women with working potential are entitled to spousal support.
Anyone got an extra 2K a month?
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 05:52 PM
|
#198
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,228
|
I'm so sorry Bim.
__________________
.
No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 05:53 PM
|
#199
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
|
I remember reading in the past about your little girl and your marital problem. It's too bad that it progresses to this point. A silver lining I can offer is that you are not a resident of Massachusetts. Just reading in a WSJ article about alimony awarded there gave me goosebumps.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
|
|
|
11-30-2010, 05:59 PM
|
#200
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
|
That's crazy, Bimmer. So sorry things turned out this way.
I hope your DD is doing well under your guidance and that guidance will be able to continue regardless of the "custody" issue (or is she skipping the custody/child support issue and going straight for the spousal support?).
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
» Recent Threads
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
» Quick Links
|
|
|