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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 03:40 PM   #21
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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Originally Posted by TromboneAl
Sheesh. I want to take early retirement from parenthood!
I looked at my wife last night after watching gabe all day and told her I felt like arnold schwarzenneger at the end of "Terminator 2"... "I need a vacation..."
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 04:19 PM   #22
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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I looked at my wife last night after watching gabe all day and told her I felt like arnold schwarzenneger at the end of "Terminator 2"... "I need a vacation..."
Hang in there, "newbie".* Parenthood could easily be the most productive time of your life!

Due to the parental-infant time-dilation effect, there's actually only about 17 years to go and it just FEELS like it's taking forever.* (I'm almost sure that I read about this in Stephen Hawking's books or Scientific American.)
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 08:03 PM   #23
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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Originally Posted by Nords
Hang in there, "newbie".* Parenthood could easily be the most productive time of your life!

Due to the parental-infant time-dilation effect, there's actually only about 17 years to go and it just FEELS like it's taking forever
No end zone to reach concerning kids.

Good, bad, or indifferent, you've signed up for a life sentence.
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 08:24 PM   #24
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

As a friend of mine once said.
When you have kids you never get to spike the football, the game is never over.

But I guess that's a good thing.
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 08:40 PM   #25
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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I looked at my wife last night after watching gabe all day and told her I felt like arnold schwarzenneger at the end of "Terminator 2"... "I need a vacation..."
What is he, 8 months now? In just a few more months, he'll want to "help" you. It'll be just like your old job again -- inventing "useful" things for your worker bees to do, and hoping that they don't do too much damage in the process.

Ours is 2-1/2 now, and I'm constantly floored at how sophisticated her psychological warfare is. These creatures want independence, and they will stop at nothing to get it!
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 09:38 PM   #26
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

Dan

What a wonderful letter. I started crying while I was reading it as I am going through a particularly bad time with my 16 year old daughter. I never went through this with my 27 year old son.

SteveR,

The first paragraph of your email sounds exactly and I mean exactly like my 27 yr old son.

I am so glad that I am not getting graded on my parenting abilities right now, because I know that I would flunk big time. People keep telling me that things will get better in a couple of years or so. I certainly hope so.

Anyway, again that is a great letter Dan. You must be so proud. Al, I agree that if your daughter is emailing you and not blowing you off, then you should thank your lucky stars.

Dreamer
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 10:49 PM   #27
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

Dreamer,
Don't give up on your daughter no matter what.
My son is 31 now and just got married 2 weeks ago this Saturday.
From the age of 13 to about 22 DW and I had a real tough time with him.* I can't begin to tell you how bad it was.* There were times I didn't think we were going to make it.* I won't get into the details but trust me it wasn't fun.
At some point I told him that some day he would thank me for all I had done for him.
Well about 2 years ago I won a trip to the superbowl and my son and I went together, he was 29 at that point and doing well in his life.* We rented a boat and just started to drive around the bay.* When we stopped to look around and take in the sights he turned to me and asked me if I remembered telling* him that one day he would thank me for what my DW and I had done for him.* I just looked at him and nodded and he hugged me and thanked me.
In one moment he erased a tough 10 years in my life.

Good luck to you Dreamer.
JOE
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-23-2005, 11:03 PM   #28
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

Dreamer,
I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing a bad time right now.
I cried too because of the history alluded to in his last sentence.
We have 3 kids 24 22 & 19. Each has a distinct personality - with their own set of issues like all of us.
When we have been anguished, feeling hopeless, depressed, and out of answers, we would remind ourselves to try to look at the bigger picture of their/our lives and that we are all works in progess.
We still have our worries.
I am proud of Will and all the kids. I feel very uncomfortable looking proud however and had great reluctance posting the letter. Again, I apologize for the appearance of being proud.

I just wanted to post it to say that with our day to day trials of living, there is the possibility of a long term payoff for ourselves and we always have the ability to do so to others!
I'm hopeful that can happen to you and all of us. Keep Strong and Carry-on.
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-24-2005, 05:37 AM   #29
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamer
Dan

What a wonderful letter.* I started crying while I was reading it as I am going through a particularly bad time with my 16 year old daughter.* I never went through this with my 27 year old son.*

SteveR,

The first paragraph of your email sounds exactly and I mean exactly like my 27 yr old son.

I am so glad that I am not getting graded on my parenting abilities right now, because I know that I would flunk big time.* People keep telling me that things will get better in a couple of years or so.* I certainly hope so.

Anyway, again that is a great letter Dan.* You must be so proud.* Al, I agree that if your daughter is emailing you and not blowing you off, then you should thank your lucky stars.

Dreamer
I had a very tough time with my son (teenage years). Later on he told my
Dad that I had saved his life. Nice to hear. My daughters were less trouble
for me, except for a couple of boyfriends. Anyway, it all turned out great in the end. I am estranged from my youngest (divorce issues) but I am quite
sure it will get patched up eventually, if I live long enough.

JG
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-24-2005, 09:17 AM   #30
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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Originally Posted by ex-Jarhead
Good, bad, or indifferent, you've signed up for a life sentence.
Yeah, with no parole.

I sometimes look at childless friends of ours (by choice or by circumstance) and wonder if their lives are as fulfilling as parenthood. But somehow my brain veers away from completing the thought process...
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-24-2005, 11:07 AM   #31
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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Originally Posted by wabmester
What is he, 8 months now? In just a few more months, he'll want to "help" you. It'll be just like your old job again -- inventing "useful" things for your worker bees to do, and hoping that they don't do too much damage in the process.
Oh he's already trying to be helpful. Last week I had one of my new tivo's on the living room floor and was removing the cover to install a larger hard drive, and in the wink of an eye he grabbed the screwdriver off the floor and was getting ready to adjust an eye with it... :P

Fortunately my cul-de-sac neighbors have a wide selection of boys aged about 2-10, so I'm already getting considerable experience with "Whadda ya doing?" and "Whats this?".

Theres also the alternatives, like the old joke about the kid asking dad why it rains and the answer is "God is crying because of something you did" or the highly entertaining star trek episode I saw a few weeks ago where Worf tells the son he suddenly developed that "Warriors do not ask so many questions!".
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-24-2005, 12:03 PM   #32
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

Thanks for the replies guys. I think that I was feeling especially vulnerable last night when I posted my reply. I am hoping and praying that things will get better. I just need to be more patient!
Dan, don't feel bad about feeling proud, I certainly would feel that way. I am glad that you did post his email. It gives some of us that are still struggling hope that our circumstances will turn around some day also.

Sorry if I brought this thread down last night. Again it was a wonderful email!

Dreamer
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Re: The Long Term Payoff
Old 09-24-2005, 11:41 PM   #33
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Re: The Long Term Payoff

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Originally Posted by Dreamer
I am glad that you did post his email. It gives some of us that are still struggling hope that our circumstances will turn around some day also.
Dreamer
Thank you Dreamer. I'm hopeful and glad too!
DanTien
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