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The Office Picnic
Old 05-10-2011, 07:23 PM   #1
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The Office Picnic

My one dear and real friend from my old office has invited me to go with her to the office picnic every year since I retired in '08. I never felt comfortable going - too much baggage. I accepted this time. Date: June 22nd. Oh boy. I'm feeling an overpowering sense of dread.
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Old 05-10-2011, 07:40 PM   #2
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Dread? Think up an ER game to amuse yourself - maybe see how many different ways you can answer "what do you all day?" to the phonies.

The next Monday at the water cooler:
A: "It was good to see Purron, she looks so happy."

B: "She told me skydiving keeps her young"

C: "Skydiving? I only heard about her tutoring in Swahili at the Y."

etc, etc...
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Old 05-10-2011, 07:54 PM   #3
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It is your sworn duty to represent all FIRE-ees at this event as follows:

1. Smile.
2. Smile some more.
3. Look fabulous - don't overdress, but pick out the outfit that makes you look your best. Accessorize well but don't be over the top.
4. Get a fresh haircut and wear makeup, especially if you did not do so while w*rking.
5. Look everyone right in the eye, smile again.
6. Tell the most rotten of the nosybodies you won the state lottery a week after you FIREd. Whisper it in their ear so they think only they know your "secret".

It must mean a lot to your friend for you to attend this event with her, so make the best of it and knock their socks off. Be gracious but show 'em how great you look these days.
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:04 PM   #4
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Thanks guys. I really need some bolstering. I'm thinking about buying a new outfit. I've lost some weight, so my "going out clothes" don't fit so well anymore. It's a picnic in the DC summer heat, so I can't really dress up or do makeup so much - but I'm thinking some smart shorts, nice top, cool sandals, groovy sunglasses and a pedicure/manicure might make me feel more confident.
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:54 PM   #5
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The caption of that photo may say "Scaredy cat", but it looks like he's planning to take off the photographer's fingers. At the elbow. Or am I overinterpreting the social situation here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Purron View Post
Thanks guys. I really need some bolstering. I'm thinking about buying a new outfit.
"The best vengeance is living well".

You might want to try finding something that immediately looks as if you've owned it for months, maybe even shopping at a thrift store. After all, you don't want to get dressed up in a bunch of crinkly new clothes and get mistakenly lumped in with all the other workers who dressed up to impress their coworkers & bosses.

Have you brainstormed a script?
"Yeah, I ended up being in the country this month so I thought I'd drop by and see how everyone's doing."
"Why, thank you, I feel younger every year! It's amazing what plenty of free time and no stress or department meetings can do for your health."
"What do you mean, 'What do I do?' In case of what?"
"Work? Feh. Let's talk about what you did last weekend. Really? Oh. Sorry. Did they at least give you overtime or comp time?"
"Ha ha ha, actually that's a very popular question on an Internet discussion board, but even after doing nothing all day I'm still worn out by bedtime."
"Bored? Well, let me ask you-- do you see yourself doing anything boring next week? Because if you're available then we could... oh, you're working next week? Right. Well, I'll post about it on LinkedIn and you can read about it there!"
"Ha ha ha, actually that's a very intense topic on an Internet discussion board. But I paid off my mortgage before I retired so that I wouldn't need to work to pay my debts."
"Golly, boss, I haven't seen you for three years! You're still wearing that ol' thing?!?"
"What did the boss mean just now when he made that joke about next month's layoffs? Say, do you think you're going to come out of this all right?"
"Yeah, well, the Appalachian Trail doesn't seem very long until you try to hike it from one end to the other."
"This barbecue sure looks good, but you wouldn't believe how heavenly it tastes in Chiang Mai."
"Dude, did you see that surf forecast for next week in Costa Rica? I am so there!"
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:07 PM   #6
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Got a shipmates' reunion party coming up on the calendar, Nords?
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:49 PM   #7
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Got a shipmates' reunion party coming up on the calendar, Nords?
If so, I want to know if he's gonna get a peticure and manicure
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:59 PM   #8
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Just go and have a good time. I never really liked the thought of going to office parties, but after I went most of them were really pretty nice.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:47 PM   #9
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Got a shipmates' reunion party coming up on the calendar, Nords?
Practicin' for the book tour!

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If so, I want to know if he's gonna get a peticure and manicure
Subic Bay, 1991, along with the haircut. I think it cost $5 plus a buck tip.

We steely-eyed killers of the deep need a lot of work after those 40 days on station chewing our fingernails to the bone doing things we're not allowed to talk about.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:53 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Purron View Post
Thanks guys. I really need some bolstering. I'm thinking about buying a new outfit. I've lost some weight, so my "going out clothes" don't fit so well anymore. It's a picnic in the DC summer heat, so I can't really dress up or do makeup so much - but I'm thinking some smart shorts, nice top, cool sandals, groovy sunglasses and a pedicure/manicure might make me feel more confident.
That sounds just right to me...you'll look lovely I'm sure.

Smile real pretty now. ...and don't forget to wear your sunglasses all of the time. That way they won't see that glazed look when they talk about w*ork.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:45 AM   #11
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No need to fake anything. Just be yourself, let your stress free radiance glow.
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:01 AM   #12
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You'll do great. Remember, you are no longer a rival or someone who is in the raise/bonus pool, so the stakes are a lot lower for the people from the salt mine.

I suppose I would be tempted to rent the biggest Mercedes (or better yet, a Bentley) and borrow a megabucks piece of jewelry, but that would be upping the ante.
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:06 AM   #13
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Be sure to complain a lot about having to dress up for the event...
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:24 AM   #14
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Have a great time and remember they are still working and you are not so ignore any you must be bored remarks .
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:57 AM   #15
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Heck.... why worry about what others think.... you don't do it when you are not at the picnic....


Me, I would go just so I could catch up with a few of the people and see what has happened to different people... some gossip... and to have some fun...
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Old 05-11-2011, 11:17 AM   #16
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Yup...Just go with a smile on your face and talk with the folks you always liked and were comfortable with. There's nothing like talking with an old acquaintance about a past life. Try not to be too upbeat or happy about your situation... And in all seriousness, the picnic won't last too long...so...have fun!
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:03 PM   #17
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I was invited to a similar, but indoor, pot luck function about 3 years after retiring and it was on a Friday at lunchtime and hosted at the supervisors home about 2 miles from the office. Lots of Mexican dishes.

It was really fun to walk in wearing shorts, tee, and sandals with a tan even between my toes, and chat with guys/gals dressed in suit/tie. I could just see the envy. I did call attention to the lack of tan where the leash mark was above my ankle.

About an hour after I left, I started to get a sensation that two cats were fighting in my bowel system and I definitely needed to be near porcelain. I couldn't help but feel bad for the rest of the folks who had 3-4 more hours to go at work. I called one of my old friends and sure enough, whatever I ate was also eaten by several others.

I don't count it as one of my retirement benefits, but the freedom to stay near one's throne is now on my list.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:21 PM   #18
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Be sure to complain a lot about having to dress up for the event...
A few weeks ago, we were going out and I decided to wear a shirt with buttons, had to remind myself how they work.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:25 PM   #19
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A few weeks ago, we were going out and I decided to wear a shirt with buttons, had to remind myself how they work.


Pants? We don't need no stinkin' pants...
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:36 PM   #20
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You don't need to prove yourself to anyone...

You don't need to get even with anyone...

You don't need a story, or to elaborate, or exagerate...

When they ask what you have been doing, tell em'. If you haven't done anything tell em' that too.

Just go, be yourself, talk to those that you liked. Be polite to those you don't.
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