The old couple next door..

[jollystomper]

MIL and FIL moved to Florida after they both retired. Within a year they were separated. I believe a big factor was that their community/support system they moved away from had helped in masking some of their issues/differences and allow each to tolerate the other in those areas. Once away from that, having to face those things constantly between themselves with no support system drove them apart.

 

[Nemo2]

MIL and FIL moved to Florida after they both retired. Within a year they were separated. I believe a big factor was that their community/support system they moved away from had helped in masking some of their issues/differences and allow each to tolerate the other in those areas. Once away from that, having to face those things constantly between themselves with no support system drove them apart.

When I initially went to Saudi Arabia, (on single status for the first three years), my French Canadian supervisor advised me that the close proximity that couples experienced on the compound either made or broke marriages.

He said he had never previously spent so much time with his wife & kids, and he loved it...........other couples, not so much.

One woman apparently said to her husband, (as she departed), "I'm sick of Saudi, I'm sick of 'the company', and I'm sick of you".

 

[Walt34]

While others obviously love it, I absolutely hate the heat and humidity of Florida. I would not want to live there. It's nice to visit in February, as a break from our winter weather and it's not so hot there at that time.

Decades ago my younger sister and her then-hubby (Air Traffic Controller) moved to FL for a promotion and they stayed there for ~8 years. She made it clear that while the winter months were nice, 10 months out of the year it was like the D.C. area in August. (Bear in mind that D.C. was built on a swamp. In August you can step outside and be drenched in sweat in a few minutes.)

When I retired I wanted to move to one of the Carolinas, maybe Tennessee, where the extremes of weather would be the exception. DW didn't want to move that far from family, and in hindsight she was probably right. While I have always disliked cold weather winter is harder the older I get but I console myself that the worst is only two or three months of the year. And being retired, I don't have to go out in it so that does make it easier to bear than when working.

 

[NW-Bound]

... While I have always disliked cold weather winter is harder the older I get but I console myself that the worst is only two or three months of the year. And being retired, I don't have to go out in it so that does make it easier to bear than when working.

I am saying the same thing about the southwest summer. And I have the high-country home to flee to. Or I can go RV'in'.

PS. The air is so dry here, such that when you come out of the swimming pool, you will shiver even when the temperature is in the high 90's. The water evaporation makes you feel cold.

 

[Nemo2]

PS. The air is so dry here, such that when you come out of the swimming pool, you will shiver even when the temperature is in the high 90's. The water evaporation makes you feel cold.

I recall coming out of the pool in Riyadh.....the temp was ~126F...same thing.

 

[JoeWras]

I think a lot of this comes down to "why" are you moving?

Whether it is Florida, Arizona, the Northwest, ... wherever, why are you going? Just for the weather? For more?

More importantly, are you going there to "fix" a relationship or problem you have?

People trying to get away to fix stuff. This was really my biggest beef with Florida. And I suspect the same happens for many who move to CA, AZ, CO and other "pretty" places.

A couple is having problems. "Let's move to a new state and start over!" Yeah, that will fix things. Or, "I may be having a drug or alcohol problem, let me get a fresh start!"

Oh my goodness. I can say this was very tough on the communities. People would come and not be able to settle roots. And of course, sometimes the problems came with them.

Another tough aspect of retirement locations is seasonality. When people are visitors, they could care less about the problems of seasonality. Then when they move there, and try to live the year, they discover what a load the seasonality puts on a community. Suddenly they are trying to support it, or have to deal with it. It can be anything from having to wait in lines at restaurants, to having to deal with high water bills year round because the system must be overbuilt for the season. Etc.

It is an interesting problem. I think it takes a specific personality to live in transient communities, and I think a lot of people eat it up. That's great! It was not for me.

 

[NW-Bound]

In my travel, I used to say when I saw a new place: "Looks like a nice place to live in retirement". I don't say that anymore. Even people in "paradise" go elsewhere for vacation.

In my RV travel, I met a couple while camping in Kings Canyon National Park. They were from Hawaii, and said that they had kept an RV in the mainland for many years for vacation. When their kids were younger, they took them RV'ing every summer so that they "would not miss out on what mainland USA was about".

 

[akck]

In the 2000's, we figured we'd move south. As we scouted out locations, we eliminated them for various reasons. I retired at the beginning of 2014 and my wife retired last year, so now we could more actively pursue relocation. Earlier this month, we went on a scouting trip to eliminate two more locations. However, we did add back one area previously eliminated while visiting friends.

At this point, staying in place seems to be the best option. The main negative is that you have to fly out in order to fly/drive anywhere. Okay, a ferry is an option, but it includes several days ferrying/driving to get to your starting point. Positives are we're 5 -8 minutes away from the airport, one son will never leave the area, and we don't have to find doctors. While specialty medical services requires a fly out, most areas we've been looking at require about the same amount of driving time to get to a big city. About the only thing that might make us move is if our grandkid(s) move within driving distance of the place still on the list.

 

[marko]

My family has wintered in FL since the 50's. (We just got back North last night after 3 months).

Our general feeling is that we love our New England area (North of Boston) except for 3 months a year. A full time residence in Florida would be too much but Jan-April is a good way to go.

 

[Choices]

We are looking to move this year....someplace. We cannot live the lifestyle we want where we are now, something to do with raising farm animals in an HOA.
So, it will be VT or rural CO. Kids are scattered from one coast to the next; one will never move and the other two are mobile. We have to decide for us. Scary proposition after years of transferring to and fro.
We look at it as the next adventure!

 

[fasteddie911]

I lived in FL for a few years. Multiple neighbors moved down from NY, only to turn around and move back within the year. These were not rentals either, purchases!

The reasons are many. It is a well known phenomenon. Mostly, it is the mistaken belief that the feeling you have on vacation is permanent when you move there. Nope. Suddenly, you have to deal with stuff like insurance, grocery shopping, traffic, authorities, whatever. Normal life stuff. The idealistic feel you had on vacation evaporates.

Florida is a fine place. If you want to move there, try it for real first (long term rental) instead of vacation. It may or may not be for you.

You know what? This applies to ANY move from one place to another. I guess that is ray's point. As usual, he makes it in his own poetic way...

So very true. Having lived in Hawaii many years, visiting is very different from living there. I'd always have people tell me how they'd love to live there or why I'd ever leave, but the problems you ignore as a visitor become everyday occurrences as a resident. Over time the excitement wears off, things become normal or even old and boring. I was itching to leave and try something new, and now that I have left I go back to visit often and the idea of living there is exciting again. It's an endless cycle.

 

[kimcdougc]

We live in the Pacific Northwest in the Seattle metro area. Sold our house to our daughter. Currently renting her small 2 bdrm 1 bath house. She said we will never have to pay rent for more than the mortgage is. (We gave her an awesome deal on our house).

After living her for 8 months, we have decided we really love the simple lifestyle. We are in a 1927 Craftsman 800 square ft house. It has a full unfinished basement for all of our "stuff" we didn't get rid of before moving. (Slowly selling a lot of it on offerup.) Yard is almost non existent and back yard is all patio. Just love it.

We can walk to everything from here. That is great. We have decided that beginning next winter we will RV to a warm place for 3 months and come back home after that. Summer in the Northwest is beautiful.

Now that we have made the decision, deciding where that warm place will be is the dilemma. Any suggestions as the where to snowbird for 3 months out of the year? Won't be going all the way to FL.

 

[calmloki]

We live in the Pacific Northwest in the Seattle metro area. Sold our house to our daughter. Currently renting her small 2 bdrm 1 bath house. She said we will never have to pay rent for more than the mortgage is. (We gave her an awesome deal on our house).

After living her for 8 months, we have decided we really love the simple lifestyle. We are in a 1927 Craftsman 800 square ft house. It has a full unfinished basement for all of our "stuff" we didn't get rid of before moving. (Slowly selling a lot of it on offerup.) Yard is almost non existent and back yard is all patio. Just love it.

We can walk to everything from here. That is great. We have decided that beginning next winter we will RV to a warm place for 3 months and come back home after that. Summer in the Northwest is beautiful.

Now that we have made the decision, deciding where that warm place will be is the dilemma. Any suggestions as the where to snowbird for 3 months out of the year? Won't be going all the way to FL.

We snowbird about 50/50 between Oregon and La Quinta Ca. Lots of golfing here if you golf (we don't). LQ, Palm Desert, et al looks like a movie set as lots of $$$ is spent on gardeners. Lots of rich folks, Bentley, Maserati, Rolls Royce - the nice part of that is there is plenty of entertainment and the view is free. Strange, but there are pretty reasonably priced stores trying to attract the well heeled.

Speaking of free - a lot of RVers pull out into the desert around Quartzsite AZ, or Borrego Springs and boondock it. If you want a serious taste of Old West meets Mad Max there is a crowd of the living dead in Slab City Ca. I think the police get a police escort to go in there....

 

[Fedup]

So very true. Having lived in Hawaii many years, visiting is very different from living there. I'd always have people tell me how they'd love to live there or why I'd ever leave, but the problems you ignore as a visitor become everyday occurrences as a resident. Over time the excitement wears off, things become normal or even old and boring. I was itching to leave and try something new, and now that I have left I go back to visit often and the idea of living there is exciting again. It's an endless cycle.

My brother and sister lived in Hawaii for more than 4-5 years. One never went back. The other one only when she was with us and it's a different island. I think it's Island fever. Too small for them.

 

[fasteddie911]

My brother and sister lived in Hawaii for more than 4-5 years. One never went back. The other one only when she was with us and it's a different island. I think it's Island fever. Too small for them.

I wouldn't say it was entirely island fever for me (though there was some of that as well) as I've had the same experience living elsewhere in some desirable areas. I'd enjoy visiting a city, move there excited and amazed only to have it become normal and routine over time, then miss the city when I moved away and become excited to visit again.

 

[RAE]

I've lived in Michigan most of my life, as has my wife. We've been retired for 6 years now (well, DW does some online consulting work, so she still pulls in a small income). Neither of us like the long winters here anymore, but for many reasons (family, friends, activities we enjoy here, paid-off house in a nice area, vacation cabin on a lake here, etc), we've decided to stay put in retirement. The remedy for the long winters for us is to head south and rent a house down there for 2 1/2 months or so each winter. We miss the worst of winter that way, but still get to enjoy the benefits of living in a familiar place that we love for the other 9 months or so. This arrangement works well for us.