The only engineer at a business meeting.

[daylatedollarshort]

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Originally Posted by robnplunder BTW, the acting was great on the video.

+1. It was superb.

[ERD50]

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Originally Posted by bUU Your comments sound like an excuse for sub-standard management effort to me. ...

Not following you at all. I'm not making excuses for management, I'm explaining something I saw time and time again over 28 years at MegaCorp, and something that other MegaCorps provided to us in their products/services.

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I would be happy for you to provide proof that this is a routine part of the engineering discipline, aside from your own personal, Herculean accomplishment.

Has nothing to do with my personal accomplishments (or lack thereof). I've provided several generic examples that I observed (new chip-sets that make the engineer's job better, faster, cheaper; new technologies like CAD, etc). You seem to 'conveniently' ignore these examples, which are just the tip of the iceberg.

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Let's move on.

Agreed.

-ERD50

[aja8888]

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Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort One of the things I enjoyed about becoming self employed was that I knew some of the management people I had worked with at my previous megacorp, like the ones in the video, would never succeed in a million years working by themselves. Dumping difficult or even impossible assignment off on another person or group is a skill some managers seem to have perfected to an art form, but when you are working by yourself there is no one else to dump the work on, and spending all day developing processes or mission statements isn't going to pay the mortgage.

My experience also after the last 15 years on my own after stints at two Megacorps in engineering management positions, and one as a plant manger of a manufacturing plant. When I look back on those days, it is clear there are those who are self starters and can work effectively on their own (even in a group situation) and then there are the ones who seem to be better in a delegating mode.

[M Paquette]

Here at GigaCorp, we are preparing to organize a multidisciplinary cross-functional team for the purpose of optimizing tasks pursuant to the flagellation of deceased equines. Optimization goals include but are not limited to:

1) ISO 9000 compliance with regard to flagellation procedures and mechanisms so as to ensure that all equine carcasses are consistently flagellated to the highest standards.
2) Throughput optimization is needed to minimize backlog, ideally doubling the number of equine carcasses which can be processed during each work shift, while minimizing facility downtime.
3) Cost reductions are required, both for the annualized facilities cost and for the per-carcass flagellation processing costs. Ideally the net per-carcass cost should be reduced to less than half of the FY2012 per-carcass costs, so as to meet the goals established by the Board of Directors after reviewing the reports prepared by the board advisory consultants from Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe Associates.

Given the obvious expertise demonstrated by the various experts here, we are looking for nominations from this body for an individual to take a leadership role with our internal multidisciplinary cross-functional team, in a newly created position reporting directly to the CEO and the Board of Directors.

[MBAustin]

Great discussion on a superb video - I've now received it from several sources and passed it along to DS (a Mech E with management leanings). Can't tell you how many bad memories both the video and all the comments here have brought back - precisely why I ER'd. What I don't understand is a) how some companies manage to stay in business at all and b) why some haven't figured out how to avoid all of this expensive b***s*** and make megabucks more than the competition.

[robnplunder]

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Originally Posted by M Paquette Here at GigaCorp, we are preparing to organize a multidisciplinary cross-functional team for the purpose of optimizing tasks pursuant to the flagellation of deceased equines. Optimization goals include but are not limited to: 1) ISO 9000 compliance with regard to flagellation procedures and mechanisms so as to ensure that all equine carcasses are consistently flagellated to the highest standards. 2) Throughput optimization is needed to minimize backlog, ideally doubling the number of equine carcasses which can be processed during each work shift, while minimizing facility downtime. 3) Cost reductions are required, both for the annualized facilities cost and for the per-carcass flagellation processing costs. Ideally the net per-carcass cost should be reduced to less than half of the FY2012 per-carcass costs, so as to meet the goals established by the Board of Directors after reviewing the reports prepared by the board advisory consultants from Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe Associates. Given the obvious expertise demonstrated by the various experts here, we are looking for nominations from this body for an individual to take a leadership role with our internal multidisciplinary cross-functional team, in a newly created position reporting directly to the CEO and the Board of Directors.

Sorry, I am overqualified.

[daylatedollarshort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M Paquette Here at GigaCorp, we are preparing to organize a multidisciplinary cross-functional team for the purpose of optimizing tasks pursuant to the flagellation of deceased equines. Optimization goals include but are not limited to: 1) ISO 9000 compliance with regard to flagellation procedures and mechanisms so as to ensure that all equine carcasses are consistently flagellated to the highest standards. 2) Throughput optimization is needed to minimize backlog, ideally doubling the number of equine carcasses which can be processed during each work shift, while minimizing facility downtime. 3) Cost reductions are required, both for the annualized facilities cost and for the per-carcass flagellation processing costs. Ideally the net per-carcass cost should be reduced to less than half of the FY2012 per-carcass costs, so as to meet the goals established by the Board of Directors after reviewing the reports prepared by the board advisory consultants from Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe Associates. Given the obvious expertise demonstrated by the various experts here, we are looking for nominations from this body for an individual to take a leadership role with our internal multidisciplinary cross-functional team, in a newly created position reporting directly to the CEO and the Board of Directors.

I wasted a few hours of my life I will never get back at a meeting with a discussion like that one day, with two directors arguing over whose bullsh*t bingo version of the department mission statement sounded better. Finally this guy from Oklahoma, who had been quiet up until that point, just up and says "It don't matter. Neither one means a damn thing."

One of our kids interns at a start-up, and they'd go broke if they used hours of highly compensated manpower on discussions like that. Everybody wears multiple hats as it is, and anyone incapable or unwilling to do actual work is shown the door.

[ls99]

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Originally Posted by M Paquette Here at GigaCorp, we are preparing to organize a multidisciplinary cross-functional team for the purpose of optimizing tasks pursuant to the flagellation of deceased equines. Optimization goals include but are not limited to: ........... Given the obvious expertise demonstrated by the various experts here, we are looking for nominations from this body for an individual to take a leadership role with our internal multidisciplinary cross-functional team, in a newly created position reporting directly to the CEO and the Board of Directors.

No expert, but curious, how many peons will be needed for maximizing the manual flogging effort? Or will that be automated, in the form of flogging machines? AFL/CIO is interested.

Edit add: If using flogging machines, clearly engineering problems will need solved, make it fast cheap and good!

[Bestwifeever]

I would like to interview for a carcass counter position, which perhaps has not been isolated from the other positions. While I have had no success in carcass flagellation or the more elegant reverse flagellation, I have created a paradigm for separating the deceased equine carcasses from the still respirating porcine corpi, while quantifying them at the same time (although I hold several patents in this procedure, it is not as difficult as the public believes). I would insist on outside contractorship status with the option of telecommuting while the equine carcasses are on site. I have an app for it.

[6miths]

Very funny and way too true. It must have been my engineering schooling that ruined me for these types of meetings. Only a year was enough to do it! The kid's still look at me oddly when they catch me singing the 'Engineers' Hymm'.

[Turboslacker]

A real life, Megacorp example of firing the engineers when something goes to crap. Unbelievable, like the Execs and Management have no culpability with getting into this predicament.

http://money.cnn.com/2014/04/15/news...ech/index.html

[BigNick]

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Originally Posted by M Paquette Given the obvious expertise demonstrated by the various experts here, we are looking for nominations from this body for an individual to take a leadership role with our internal multidisciplinary cross-functional team, in a newly created position reporting directly to the CEO and the Board of Directors.

Sounds like you need a BUreau-wide Leading Special High-level Integrated Task force.

[bUU]

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Originally Posted by Turboslacker A real life, Megacorp example of firing the engineers when something goes to crap. Unbelievable, like the Execs and Management have no culpability with getting into this predicament. GM's Barra: 'We know the world is watching' - Apr. 15, 2014

But keep in mind that one of the elements of management confusion is what is an "engineer". The two employees suspended may very well be managers, divisional directors or some such, but because they're responsible for an engineering division, PR is calling them engineers. They may actually be the managers who made the distinctly managerial decision to reduce cost and reduce quality while retaining speed.

[HFWR]

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Originally Posted by BigNick Sounds like you need a BUreau-wide Leading Special High-level Integrated Task force.

We had Special Highly-Important Tests...

[Andre1969]

Funny I would see this today, as I just got back from a meeting that was a total waste of time. All I could think was, retirement can't get here soon enough!

[38Chevy454]

Good reading and just catching up on all the discussion. The good/fast/cheap problem is so true. Engineers are always making trade-offs to balance the three and try to maximize the end result.

A thought occurred to me, kind of related to the subject, but maybe should be a separate topic. However I will throw it out here.

Ever notice how good technical engineers do not make good managers? They tend to be too micromanaging, unable to delegate, or give good direction.

Is this a result of being trained by similar bad managers in their early careers? Or a result of the tendency for engineers to be detail oriented? Maybe it's just self-preservation and trying against odds to survive against the issues identified in the original post video?

[BigNick]

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Originally Posted by Bestwifeever I have created a paradigm for separating the deceased equine carcasses from the still respirating porcine corpi, while quantifying them at the same time (although I hold several patents in this procedure, it is not as difficult as the public believes).

Did you check the porcine corpi for aviation potential?

[sailor]

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Originally Posted by BigNick Did you check the porcine corpi for aviation potential?

Too late Monsiuer Nick Le Grand,
Hayao Miyazaki already exploited this venue with excellent results:
Porco Rosso - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[braumeister]

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Originally Posted by BigNick Did you check the porcine corpi for aviation potential?

We have thousands of them around here.
Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon

[jIMOh]

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Originally Posted by braumeister Makes me think of the old saw we used in the custom software business: Quote: Good/fast/cheap. Pick any two.

I work in software industry for one of world's 3 largest CAD and PDM vendors.

There are three things which go into a new software release

functionality
customer deadlines to receive the functionalty
and quality

A release of software can have only two of those 3 things met, and customers don't like seeing their deadlines get moved.

If you ever used I-DEAS master series 8, there was a reason that release looked like beta code.