The Perfect Job

[flipstress]

Got this from a friend.  (Apologies if already posted)
-----------------
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a Tailor,
but I just wasn't suited for it -
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a Chef -
figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it,
I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a Musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live
on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working
for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a
Historian -
until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks,
but I had to quit because it was
always the same old grind.

SO, I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

 

[Mountain_Mike]

Flipstress,

Thanks for posting that..... too funny!!!

All the best to you.
Mike

 

[flipstress]

Mountain_Mike, all the best to you, too!

My posting may be a bit corny but it was punny enough for me...

 

[MJ]

I used to work for an envelope manufacturer, but quit cause I didn't want my fate sealed.

MJ

 

[Eagle43]

My last job was at the Hoover vacuum factory.
I was gonna stay, but the job sucked.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

My last job was at the Hoover vacuum factory.
I was gonna stay, but the job sucked.

At least you didn't blow the job and thus air your shortcomings.

JG

 

[Mr._johngalt]

I used to work for an envelope manufacturer, but quit cause I didn't want my fate sealed.

MJ

Ahh, you could have licked it. Did the company fold ?

JG

 

[Nords]

I lost my job as a detective because I didn't have a clue.
Lost my job as a navigator . I just couldn't get the drift of it.
I could have gotten a job in a clock factory but I couldn't find the time.
I got a job as an ear, nose and throat doctor but I couldn't hack it.
Got a job at a lollipop factory, but it really sucked.
I quit my job as an accountant, it was too taxing.
I got a job in a pillow factory, but it wore me down.
I got a job building gallows, but I never got the hang of it.
I got a job as a termite inspector, but it was boring.
I got a job as a Viagara salesman. It really had its ups and downs.
I tried to get a job at Kodak, but it never developed.
I hated the job as a masseuse. It really rubbed me the wrong way.
I quit my job in Animal Control. It made me so doggone tired.
Got a job with a casket company, but I didn't fit in.
I quit the job of installing solar panels. It took away all my energy.
I got a job with the workforce at Goodyear, but we all had to retire.

THIS IS THE HARDEST I'VE WORKED ALL WEEK!!!!!!!

 

[MikeD]

I worked at the Ex-Lax factory but the hours were too irregular.

Mike D.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

I worked at the Ex-Lax factory but the hours were too irregular.

Mike D.

Must have been a crappy job. Where did you move?

JG