The price you pay for your success-observations

[want2flyy]

My observations at 48 years old Early Retired. I try to keep a low profile and not disclose anything but yet I am constantly reminded..

1. Contractors arrive and suddenly (because of the neighborhood's perceived wealth appearance) the price increases 20%.

2. I have heard this based on assumptions (not me divulging) "Retired? wow, you must have plenty of money"

3. Along with that.." What do you care about the cost? You have plenty of money"..(mostly contractors and tenants)

4. Long time "friends" have disappeared.

5. Relatives outside my DW and kids, all of a sudden have a crisis and a need but love to criticize and state "What do you care? We aren't as "lucky" as you"..(LOL "luck"-Yes the leprechaun of money knocked on my door and gave it all to me)

6. Relatives only talk not listen. They look for an opportunity to interject the crisis or need for money;sometimes trying to manipulate so I can bring it up for them!

7.No more donating...as a result: disappointment and getting burned. (I am not talking about charity as in volunteering).

I am open to any thoughts, suggestions, support or similar stories..as I adjust to retirement for me and my family; and learn lessons the hard way

 

[Richard4444]

They were never your "friends," only long time acquaintances, who became too jealous when you succeeded which made them feel as if they failed. They were 'upset' with your success.

 

[REWahoo]

The old CEO of the company I worked for used to complain about #1 and #3 all the time - then he got divorced and downsized. Problem solved.

 

[marko]

My neighbor has this weird perspective:
Whenever he has a contractor/repair person/etc come do something for him, he's outraged that they charge him anything at all! (He's a retired public servant and is used to 30 years of getting freebies).

His take (are you ready?): "They own a business! They don't need the money!!
I once tried to point out that a roofer had to send 5 guys to his house who the owner needed to pay, he said: "Doesn't matter...he's got plenty of money; I've known him since we were kids!"

Even here in the People's Republic of Massachusetts it's a bit extreme.

 

[2B]

I'm wondering about 5 and 6 with my retirement coming up. It's well known in the family that I have a good job. When I willingly leave it, the assumption will be that I have more money than I can ever spend so they're going to be right there ready to help me. I mostly worried about DW's sister. They've had "bad luck" and haven't been able to save enough for retirement with their 30' sailboat, vacation home, multi-cars and free spending ways.

I'm sure after the first 10 or so "no's" they'll get the idea.

 

[Amethyst]

"1. Contractors arrive and suddenly (because of the neighborhood's perceived wealth appearance) the price increases 20%."

I find this interesting because I have the same notion, but suspect it is just that, a notion. After all, what is the basis for comparison? Are you comparing prices charged for similar houses in other neighborhoods? Does your neighborhood, being a wealthy one, have larger, more complicated houses with fancier trimmings, which naturally take longer and cost more to repair or upgrade?

Amethyst

 

[Richard4444]

(He's a retired public servant and is used to 30 years of getting freebies).

This is something I never get. He wasn't a 'servant'. I am sure he was paid appropriately, and most likely has a nice pension as well.

It must be me - when they talk about all politicians, they are referred to having performed 'public service. all those years' I just don't get it.

Rich

 

[Amethyst]

Freebies for what, pray tell? I'm a retired public servant, and never got anything for free, not even lunch (unless fellow employees chippped in as a good-bye gesture). Then again, I did get to use the Government's toilet paper for 30+ years so I suppose that saved some money

Amethyst

My neighbor has this weird perspective:
Whenever he has a contractor/repair person/etc come do something for him, he's outraged that they charge him anything at all! (He's a retired public servant and is used to 30 years of getting freebies).

 

[marko]

Freebies for what, pray tell? I'm a retired public servant, and never got anything for free, not even lunch (unless fellow employees chippped in as a good-bye gesture).

Amethyst

In my neighbor's case, its more about a mind-set of business owners 'not needing the money' because they own a small business.

 

[marko]

I am sure he was paid appropriately, and most likely has a nice pension as well.

Not only a nice pension, but his Federal taxes are paid for him as well, coupled to a 25% discount on his property taxes.

 

[Amethyst]

People always think "the other guy" is getting a better deal. In this case, though, it sounds like magical thinking. Or like "tenant thinking"...I pay you, the landlord, rent, and you don't have any expenses because you own this house, so you must be rich!

Amethyst

In my neighbor's case, its more about a mind-set of business owners 'not needing the money' because they own a small business.

 

[HFWR]

In my neighbor's case, its more about a mind-set of business owners 'not needing the money' because they own a small business.

Sadly, lots of w*rker bees who have no budgetary or other deadline-type responsibilities seem to think that money grows on trees.

 

[freebird5825]

I went through an interesting experience with the donation aspect...when I applied for and got my deferred FERS pension in Nov 2014, I decided I would donate the first month's pension check to good causes.
So I asked one of the day bartenders at the VFW that I frequent if there were some good holiday causes in their town to donate to. Only she and I were present for that conversation. I made sure of that.
She gave me a few ideas, even wrote down some contact info for me. I decided to donate $100 to a local thrift shop that buys thanksgiving turkeys for needy families.
Next time I saw her, and nobody else was there to hear, I let her know what I had done. BIG MISTAKE ! Her reaction was very odd.
Next thing I know, people at the VFW were treating me differently and not in a positive way. There were some odd remarks made. Not a single person said "that was really nice of you" or anything positive.
My gut feel is the bartender said something about "Miss Moneybags" to the rest of the patrons while I wasn't there.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

 

[freebird5825]

Freebies for what, pray tell? I'm a retired public servant, and never got anything for free, not even lunch (unless fellow employees chippped in as a good-bye gesture). Then again, I did get to use the Government's toilet paper for 30+ years so I suppose that saved some money

Amethyst

Don't forget about all the pencils, pens and sticky notes you consumed.

 

[MRG]

Sadly, lots of w*rker bees who have no budgetary or other deadline-type responsibilities seem to think that money grows on trees.

Many do out of ignorance, owning a couple businesses helped DW really get it, she initially had no idea what to charge for products. When I explained what I'd seen in auto parts markup we went from there.

Isn't easy being the owner. We were blessed with our first two helpers, the third, fouth and fifth taught us some very hard lessons. Number five I should have involved the Sheriff, but in a small town her actions would have really hurt our business.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[Choices]

Yeah, I always found the perception that I was rich because I owned rental property, funny. I would show up in my wardrobe of worn paint-spattered work clothes, park my well maintained older car beside my tenant's monster SUV and once inside be blinded by some huge flat screen. Naw, I don't need the rent money...just skip this month, don't worry about the koolaide that dripped off your 2k sofa onto the six month old carpet.
Yup, we've done it all by being lucky! LBYM had nothing to do with it.

 

[2B]

Next time I saw her, and nobody else was there to hear, I let her know what I had done. BIG MISTAKE ! Her reaction was very odd.
Next thing I know, people at the VFW were treating me differently and not in a positive way. There were some odd remarks made. Not a single person said "that was really nice of you" or anything positive.
My gut feel is the bartender said something about "Miss Moneybags" to the rest of the patrons while I wasn't there.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

Over $100? I could see the "Miss Moneybags" if it was $10,000 but $100 is well within a Christmas donation. I know lots of people that do a lot more.

 

[2B]

This is something I never get. He wasn't a 'servant'. I am sure he was paid appropriately, and most likely has a nice pension as well.

It must be me - when they talk about all politicians, they are referred to having performed 'public service. all those years' I just don't get it.

Rich

"Public servant" for many elected officials is a euphemism for "got sweet heart deals while in office to become obscenely rich."

When at NASA as a contractor, I listened to numerous civil servants complain to each other how much more they could make in the private sector. I never pointed out that with their semi-worthless degrees and horrible work ethic they would probably starve to death in the private sector. I knew what their grade levels were and the pay ranges. Most were horribly overpaid clerks with no responsibility.

 

[freebird5825]

Over $100? I could see the "Miss Moneybags" if it was $10,000 but $100 is well within a Christmas donation. I know lots of people that do a lot more.

I hear ya. It's a small town with a very bad local economy, so $100 must have seemed extreme to some.
I have since recruited my gardening buddy to be my "Elf" to give out small amounts to that mature person struggling to pay for all of their groceries or the waitress at Denny's who is going back to school. He goes to the Salvation Army to visit a friend who w*rks there and has already paid for a few small purchases.
He does the good deeds for me and tells me afterwards. He's having a blast doing this.

 

[Chuckanut]

M
5. Relatives outside my DW and kids, all of a sudden have a crisis and a need but love to criticize and state "What do you care? We aren't as "lucky" as you"..(LOL "luck"-Yes the leprechaun of money knocked on my door and gave it all to me)

Actually, in my case it was the good fairy who bonked me on the head with her wand and made me a wealthy man. I still have the lump on my head to prove it.

 

[Midpack]

For the most part, I can't identify with most of it. But when I have had a few experiences like those in the OP, it's been easy to get around.

 

[Amethyst]

I've never experienced 5 and 6. These relatives sound awfully cheeky. I don't understand what is so sacred about relatives, that anyone has to let them annoy and take advantage, without giving back in some way (e.g. by being helpful or nice).

A.

 

[robnplunder]

5. Relatives outside my DW and kids, all of a sudden have a crisis and a need but love to criticize and state "What do you care? We aren't as "lucky" as you"..(LOL "luck"-Yes the leprechaun of money knocked on my door and gave it all to me)

6. Relatives only talk not listen. They look for an opportunity to interject the crisis or need for money;sometimes trying to manipulate so I can bring it up for them!

LOL. I remind family members that there will be a reduced financial support or cash gifts to them when I RE. I think they are rooting me to stay on my job.

 

[braumeister]

Marko's neighbor made me think of a woman we met on vacation last year. She was going on at great length about all the things government should do for people, and DW asked her how those new services would get paid for.

Her response just floored us: "Don't you understand? The government has unlimited money!"

This was from a woman who has a well-paid job at a college.

 

[JoeWras]

Marko's neighbor made me think of a woman we met on vacation last year. She was going on at great length about all the things government should do for people, and DW asked her how those new services would get paid for.

Her response just floored us: "Don't you understand? The government has unlimited money!"

This was from a woman who has a well-paid job at a college.

This is a very common perception. Try to explain what it would to to inflation, etc, and their eyes glaze over.

But it ties back to the OP. Like the govnmt, many people think retirees, especially early, have near unlimited resources. I think now I understand why so many scream "I'm on a fixed income!"