The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

[TromboneAl]

I got this book at a rummage sale, partly as a joke.

Amazon.com: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Laura Schlessinger: Books

DW and I both read it, and I have to say that it's pretty darn good. I'm no fan of Laura Schlessinger based on the little I've heard of her radio program, but this is something that many wives should read (husbands too, but mostly wives).

Here's a review that does a good job of summing it up from a woman's perspective (click for full review):

By J. Shea "jaishea" First, let me say that I am a very independent, very headstrong, liberal wife who has a higher education than her husband (masters' degree), owns a business and takes no B.S. from anyone. When this book came out, I truly thought it was a joke. WHO WOULD WRITE A BOOK LIKE THIS OUTSIDE OF THE 1950s?! And WHERE IS THE "PROPER CARE... OF WIVES"?! To add 'insult', a coworker of my husband (whose wife stays at home with their 4 kids because they feel that this is THE role wives are SUPPOSED TO take on), is the one who offered to lend it to me. I thought, "this will be interesting" but can't criticize until giving it a shot, right

Ok - there's the background - here's the review:

I couldn't put the book down and read it in a just over a day. While I don't agree 100% with all that Dr. Laura says, and as another reviewer commented that there are parts that men may find insulting, this book has changed my life, and as a result it has changed my husband's life - both for the better. After 7 years of marriage, we are clicking like we never have before. I can't explain it to you, or to my married best friends whose jaws dropped as I confessed to them over margaritas that I NOT ONLY READ the book but I LOVED the book...(click for full review)
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[freebird5825]

I was wondering when the book report would be forthcoming.
I doubt I will buy a copy directly, but if I see it in a garage sale, I would certainly buy it.
One of the nicest compliments I've ever received from dh2b is "You are too good to me", referring to what he calls "spoiling" him and what I consider normal husband treatment. My LH said pretty much said the same thing...that I took very good care of him.
I think it boils down to being a "giver" not a taker, regardless of gender.
Personality-wise, I've been known to "burn a few bras" in my time.
Personal self-sufficiency and independence is not a cancelling factor for being a good contributor to a successful relationship. I believe those traits are actually complimentary. Self-assurance (giver) vs emotional neediness (taker).
My $0.02...

 

[Khan]

Could never figure out how I was supposed to work fulltime, do all the housework, and read his mind.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Was this an April Fools joke, a day late?

 

[Meadbh]

You mean you're supposed to feed them?

 

[freebird5825]

You mean you're supposed to feed them?

Yes, afterwards of course...

 

[Moemg]

You mean you're supposed to feed them?

Yes, they are just like having a pet . You have to feed them ,pet them regularly and say good boy a lot .

 

[kumquat]

I bet you can do better by reading 'Home Economics' textbooks from the 1950's.

Cummon guys, time to 're-train' the wimmin-folk.

 

[Khan]

Yes, they are just like having a pet . You have to feed them ,pet them regularly and say good boy a lot .

But you aren't allowed to take them to the pound or the vet when they can't be trained.

 

[bbbamI]

Could never figure out how I was supposed to work fulltime, do all the housework, and read his mind.

I did the first two for 22 years. I've never been able to do the last one.

 

[SecondCor521]

But you aren't allowed to take them to the pound or the vet when they can't be trained.

And they aren't neutered as easily.

2Cor521

 

[NW-Bound]

Does the book mention that the typical husband needs lots of beer for nourishment? See attached picture. Looks how he was holding her hand to provide moral support while she was carrying the crate of beer.

 

[ERD50]

I did the first two for 22 years. I've never been able to do the last one (read a man's mind).

It's not hard, we are very simple actually, but you have to "think simple". Here is one explanation:

Does the book mention that the typical husband needs lots of beer for nourishment? See attached picture. Looks how he was holding her hand to provide moral support while she was carrying the crate of beer.

Wow, that guy is a real sweetie. Holding hands, sharing the load. Compare to the guy below with the umbrella:

-ERD50

 

[CuppaJoe]

Where is this alternate universe, where the women are strong, the men are dry, and the children are not seen? And more importantly, what is the price of a 5/3 house there?

 

[FinanceDude]

And they aren't neutered as easily.

2Cor521

Which is why they invented divorce.......

 

[FinanceDude]

I did the first two for 22 years. I've never been able to do the last one.

I just found out from this thread I might be a woman........

 

[HFWR]

You mean you're supposed to feed them?

"And if she feeds it to you, you have to eat it..." Zappa

Yes, they are just like having a pet . You have to feed them ,pet them regularly and say good boy a lot .

You forgot the rolled-up newspaper...

 

[bbbamI]

I just found out from this thread I might be a woman........

Uh oh....sorry I told you one time that I wanted to see you in speedos.....

 

[freebird5825]

Yes, they are just like having a pet . You have to feed them ,pet them regularly and say good boy a lot .

Don't forget the head scritches.

 

[freebird5825]

It's not hard, we are very simple actually, but you have to "think simple". Here is one explanation:

The Man/Woman switch panel was great.
However, you just may be....

YouTube - Molly Hatchet: Flirtin With Disaster

 

[Notmuchlonger]

I tell you what. That man/woman panel sums up the meaning of life.

That is the truth.

 

[SecondCor521]

I think there is clearly a problem with that man/woman panel picture.

On the woman's, there are clearly numbers, words, and hash marks, which would give the operator some clues as to what the dials meant or which way to turn them or how far.

In my experience there should just be the word "woman" with no other markings on the metal. The colors are probably good because they might help you think you might have some clue of figuring out what the knobs do.

2Cor521

P.S. -- I'm not as cynical now as the above probably makes me sound.

 

[ERD50]

I think there is clearly a problem with that man/woman panel picture.

On the woman's, there are clearly numbers, words, and hash marks, which would give the operator some clues as to what the dials meant or which way to turn them or how far.

In my experience there should just be the word "woman" with no other markings on the metal. The colors are probably good because they might help you think you might have some clue of figuring out what the knobs do.

2Cor521

P.S. -- I'm not as cynical now as the above probably makes me sound.

Ahhh, but there are no labels to indicate function, or whether CW or CCW increase or decrease that function. I also suspect that they are all inter-related and the function and response change randomly throughout the day, week, month, season, milestone and life of the woman and that of her friends. Some of those controls probably do nothing at all, and some (probably the most important ones) will have a variable delay in their response.

You can't win, you can't even quit the game.

It's dinner time, else I'd link a youtube video of Sinatra's "That's Life" ( I bet haha likes that one).....

-ERD50

-

 

[bbbamI]

It's not hard, we are very simple actually, but you have to "think simple". Here is one explanation:

ERD50

I understand the explanation, but where is the switch located on a man?......

 

[REWahoo]

I understand the explanation, but where is the switch on a man?......

If you have to ask...