The Raising Kids Thread

[wabmester]

Thanks, Winnie. I considered the metaphysical approach, and I think that might be needed to help when a loved one dies, but her main question at this point concerns her own mortality.

I don't necessarily want her to believe that death is something to look forward to. But at the same time, I don't want her to obsess about it. I think distraction might be best right now. And I'll try to lay down a foundation regarding natural lifecycles, embracing change, embracing grief, memorial rituals, etc.

[FinanceDude]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wab Thanks, Winnie. I considered the metaphysical approach, and I think that might be needed to help when a loved one dies, but her main question at this point concerns her own mortality. I don't necessarily want her to believe that death is something to look forward to. But at the same time, I don't want her to obsess about it. I think distraction might be best right now. And I'll try to lay down a foundation regarding natural lifecycles, embracing change, embracing grief, memorial rituals, etc.

My sons experienced the loss of one of their grandfathers and their only aunt in 2006. They both were pretty sad, so we bought a book from a Christian book store about "where did grandpa go".........it talks about heaven and how they are still alive and watching, etc. We read the book as a family, and the kids dug it. I know it was "working" when my 4-year old said: "Dad, it's ok that Grandpa is in heaven, because they have nice places where he can walk, right Dad?" My FIL LOVED to walk miles everyday, he was a retired farmer. My wife starts tearing up, and I look at him with pride and say: "YES"!!!!

[ESRBob]

Winnie,
Interesting story -- you know that story actually reads precisely the way Hindu teachings about reincarnation run. (at least the ones I've been taught) Call me a 4-year-old but that's the way I want to think about things, too. Won't know for sure for awhile yet, but it sure helps explain an awful lot, such as how do these kids pop into our lives with such fully developed personalities?

FinanceDude -- your story is a very touching one. Some people might think kids aren't smart enough to know whether what they're being told is true or not, but I think they might actually know the truth of this better than a lot of adults! We adults spend so much of our lives worrying about death, which makes sense if you really think there is nothing on the other side. I'm not in that camp, and so far, I've been spared the worry. The only issue then becomes one of needing to think really really long term... caring for things today as if you're going to have to live here for thousands of years to come....

[devo]

Wab,
In teaching school, I've got kids every year that suffer through some loss. The best book I've read that deals delicately with the topic is, "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf." As you mention, it focuses on nature and life cycles. It's a great book and I've even read it to my wife, when her grandmother died.

http://www.amazon.com/Fall-Freddie-L...e=UTF8&s=books


devo

[wabmester]

Devo, I just picked that one up from the library. Looks like a winner. Thanks!