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View Poll Results: How much would you help your adult children during a lay off ?
They could move back in 34 41.98%
I would forgo my vacation and give them the money 9 11.11%
I'd lend them money at no interest 24 29.63%
Nothing , They are adults 14 17.28%
Voters: 81. You may not vote on this poll

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The Recession & our Adult children
Old 05-16-2009, 03:26 PM   #1
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The Recession & our Adult children

If one of your adult children were hit with a lay off how much would you be willing to help ?
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:32 PM   #2
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My son in law is being laid off and I'm worried about them but do not want to solve their problems so I'm wondering what help should I offer ?
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:32 PM   #3
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Enough to keep them off the streets, but not so much that they didn't have an incentive to keep looking.

Speaking as the laid off adult child (odd phrase), I did not immediately need or want help. Family members communicated their (non-specific) support and I would have asked for it if I needed it.
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:33 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
If one of your adult children were hit with a lay off how much would you be willing to help ?
This is a question I have asked myself. I would help as much as I could, but I would not be happy that in spite of their making very good livings much of it tends to be "in one door, out the other".

About the only advice I have given them in the last 15 years is a) use condoms, and b) control your overhead.

They seem to have accepted a but not b.

Ha
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:39 PM   #5
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Enough to keep them off the streets, but not so much that they didn't have an incentive to keep looking.

.

I definitely want to keep them off the streets and out of the guest suite !
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:40 PM   #6
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Moemg, how much do you know about their financial situation? Do you know they need help?
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:41 PM   #7
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No kids, so I didn't vote.
Am I allowed to offer suggestions?
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:47 PM   #8
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I don't have kids, but if I had kids in that situation I suspect I'd probably help just enough to make sure they still had food and shelter but not so much, as Brewer said, to allow them to reduce the urgency of finding another job.

Still, being without any, I recognize my opinion could easily change if I did.
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:54 PM   #9
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I don't have kids, but if I had kids in that situation I suspect I'd probably help just enough to make sure they still had food and shelter but not so much, as Brewer said, to allow them to reduce the urgency of finding another job.

Still, being without any, I recognize my opinion could easily change if I did.
Ziggy broke the ice, so...
I'm going to assume this is the SIL in Buffalo with the cutie-utie grandson. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I have helped out friends (not the same, I know) when adversity hit them. Some of the things I did...food store and gas station gift cards, gave them a ride somewhere (kept them company and my treat for gas), researched online j*b hunting sites for their field, helped tune up their resumes, listened, called frequently to express concern.

Except for the gift cards, none involved money. The personal touch beats cash anyday. No loss of dignity issues were involved.
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Old 05-16-2009, 04:02 PM   #10
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Moemg, how much do you know about their financial situation? Do you know they need help?

I think financially they are better than my daughter makes it sound . They have a medium size mortgage and a small car loan no other debt . My daughter works part time and has a web design business that does okay . So they will probably be okay for awhile . The do live in upstate Ny which is not a hot bed of jobs . Plus having been a RN for 40 years gives me the personality of always wanting to jump in and help when sometimes I should just lay back and see what happens .
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Old 05-16-2009, 05:17 PM   #11
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Plus having been a RN for 40 years gives me the personality of always wanting to jump in and help when sometimes I should just lay back and see what happens .
If I were more cynical, I'd suggest that being a RN means it's harder to relate to not being able to quickly find a new job.
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Old 05-16-2009, 05:27 PM   #12
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Here's a link that may prove to be useful...please pass it on.
New York State Department of Labor - Unemployment Assistance

Emergency Unemployment Compensation explained here
http://www.labor.state.ny.us/ui/clai...o/eucfaqs.shtm

NYS Unemployment benefits (basic plus emergency) are currently good for 33 weeks,
with legislation pending to be able to extend another 13 weeks.
See https://ui.labor.state.ny.us/UBC/home.do?FF_LOCALE=1

I would be very happy to help your loved ones find more info at the NYS Labor Dept web site.
I am very skilled at researching stuff on the web.
Ask away.
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Old 05-16-2009, 05:49 PM   #13
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If I were more cynical, I'd suggest that being a RN means it's harder to relate to not being able to quickly find a new job.

Absolutely ! Many years ago my grandfather said to me be a nurse you'll always have a job and he was right .
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Old 05-16-2009, 05:51 PM   #14
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I would be very happy to help your loved ones find more info at the NYS Labor Dept web site.
I am very skilled at researching stuff on the web.
Ask away.


Thanks Freebird , I will pass this info on .
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Old 05-16-2009, 05:55 PM   #15
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I voted for the first option and I would have voted for the first three options combined depending on their level of financial need.

I would never turn my back on my adult children because I know they would not hesitate to return the favor.
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Old 05-16-2009, 06:06 PM   #16
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Thanks Freebird , I will pass this info on .


here's another cornucopia of NY based and national job hunting sites.
I keep these in my very back pocket in case my FIRE plan ever goes kaboom.

www.workforcenewyork.org
www.indeed.com
www.cs.state.ny.us
http://nycareerzone.org
www.centralnewyorkhelpwanted.com
www.davincitimes.com
www.vault.com
www.labor.state.ny.us
www.working-solutions.org
www.oneida-nation.net
www.ajb.dni.us
www.simplyhired.com
www.jobweb.com
www.usajobs.opm.gov
www.rileyguide.com
www.hghtechNY.com
www.careeronestop.org
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Old 05-16-2009, 06:10 PM   #17
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I agree with the previous sentiment by Corporateburnout. I tried to vote for all three...ended up voting to forgo vacation. I would also give my DS my kidney or anything else I had in this world if he were truly up against it.
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Old 05-16-2009, 06:12 PM   #18
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I'd do what I had to do, isn't that what family is all about.
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Old 05-16-2009, 06:13 PM   #19
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I agree with the previous sentiment by Corporateburnout. I tried to vote for all three...ended up voting to forgo vacation. I would also give my DS my kidney or anything else I had in this world if he were truly up against it.

Me Too !
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Old 05-16-2009, 07:22 PM   #20
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What I would do depends on how much financial responsibility my children and their spouses have demonstrated. Some people are such big spenders that there is no way to help them, unless you are at least a decamillionaire. Even then, should one help his spendthrift offsprings or let them use this occasion for reform?

So, my answer is "It depends".
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