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View Poll Results: How much would you help your adult children during a lay off ?
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They could move back in
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34 |
41.98% |
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I would forgo my vacation and give them the money
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9 |
11.11% |
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I'd lend them money at no interest
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24 |
29.63% |
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Nothing , They are adults
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14 |
17.28% |
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The Recession & our Adult children
05-16-2009, 02:26 PM
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#1
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Location: Sarasota,fl.
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The Recession & our Adult children
If one of your adult children were hit with a lay off how much would you be willing to help ?
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05-16-2009, 02:32 PM
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#2
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 8,433
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My son in law is being laid off and I'm worried about them but do not want to solve their problems so I'm wondering what help should I offer ?
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05-16-2009, 02:32 PM
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#3
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Posts: 13,845
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Enough to keep them off the streets, but not so much that they didn't have an incentive to keep looking.
Speaking as the laid off adult child (odd phrase), I did not immediately need or want help. Family members communicated their (non-specific) support and I would have asked for it if I needed it.
__________________
"To be a man means that you are brave, loyal and true. When you are in the wrong, you own up and take your punishment. You don't take advantage of women. As a husband, you support and protect your wife and children. You are gracious in victory and a good sport in defeat. Your word is your bond. Your handshake is as good as your word... When the ship goes down, you put the women and children into the lifeboats and wave good-bye with a smile." C Murray
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05-16-2009, 02:33 PM
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#4
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 18,446
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 Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
If one of your adult children were hit with a lay off how much would you be willing to help ?
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This is a question I have asked myself. I would help as much as I could, but I would not be happy that in spite of their making very good livings much of it tends to be "in one door, out the other".
About the only advice I have given them in the last 15 years is a) use condoms, and b) control your overhead.
They seem to have accepted a but not b.
Ha
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Para todo mal, mezcal. Y para todo bien, tambien!
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05-16-2009, 02:39 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345
Enough to keep them off the streets, but not so much that they didn't have an incentive to keep looking.
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I definitely want to keep them off the streets and out of the guest suite !
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05-16-2009, 02:40 PM
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#6
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Moemg, how much do you know about their financial situation? Do you know they need help?
__________________
"To be a man means that you are brave, loyal and true. When you are in the wrong, you own up and take your punishment. You don't take advantage of women. As a husband, you support and protect your wife and children. You are gracious in victory and a good sport in defeat. Your word is your bond. Your handshake is as good as your word... When the ship goes down, you put the women and children into the lifeboats and wave good-bye with a smile." C Murray
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05-16-2009, 02:41 PM
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#7
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pines at East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 8,245
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No kids, so I didn't vote.
Am I allowed to offer suggestions? 
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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05-16-2009, 02:47 PM
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#8
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 13,422
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I don't have kids, but if I had kids in that situation I suspect I'd probably help just enough to make sure they still had food and shelter but not so much, as Brewer said, to allow them to reduce the urgency of finding another job.
Still, being without any, I recognize my opinion could easily change if I did.
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
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05-16-2009, 02:54 PM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pines at East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggy29
I don't have kids, but if I had kids in that situation I suspect I'd probably help just enough to make sure they still had food and shelter but not so much, as Brewer said, to allow them to reduce the urgency of finding another job.
Still, being without any, I recognize my opinion could easily change if I did.
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Ziggy broke the ice, so...
I'm going to assume this is the SIL in Buffalo with the cutie-utie grandson. Correct me if I'm wrong.
I have helped out friends (not the same, I know) when adversity hit them. Some of the things I did...food store and gas station gift cards, gave them a ride somewhere (kept them company and my treat for gas), researched online j*b hunting sites for their field, helped tune up their resumes, listened, called frequently to express concern.
Except for the gift cards, none involved money. The personal touch beats cash anyday.  No loss of dignity issues were involved.
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"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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05-16-2009, 03:02 PM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345
Moemg, how much do you know about their financial situation? Do you know they need help?
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I think financially they are better than my daughter makes it sound . They have a medium size mortgage and a small car loan no other debt . My daughter works part time and has a web design business that does okay . So they will probably be okay for awhile . The do live in upstate Ny which is not a hot bed of jobs . Plus having been a RN for 40 years gives me the personality of always wanting to jump in and help when sometimes I should just lay back and see what happens .
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05-16-2009, 04:17 PM
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#11
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 13,422
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
Plus having been a RN for 40 years gives me the personality of always wanting to jump in and help when sometimes I should just lay back and see what happens .
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If I were more cynical, I'd suggest that being a RN means it's harder to relate to not being able to quickly find a new job.
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
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05-16-2009, 04:27 PM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pines at East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 8,245
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Here's a link that may prove to be useful...please pass it on.
New York State Department of Labor - Unemployment Assistance
Emergency Unemployment Compensation explained here
http://www.labor.state.ny.us/ui/clai...o/eucfaqs.shtm
NYS Unemployment benefits (basic plus emergency) are currently good for 33 weeks,
with legislation pending to be able to extend another 13 weeks.
See https://ui.labor.state.ny.us/UBC/home.do?FF_LOCALE=1
I would be very happy to help your loved ones find more info at the NYS Labor Dept web site.
I am very skilled at researching stuff on the web.
Ask away.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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05-16-2009, 04:49 PM
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#13
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Absolutely ! Many years ago my grandfather said to me be a nurse you'll always have a job and he was right .
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05-16-2009, 04:51 PM
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#14
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freebird5825
I would be very happy to help your loved ones find more info at the NYS Labor Dept web site.
I am very skilled at researching stuff on the web.
Ask away. |
Thanks Freebird , I will pass this info on .
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05-16-2009, 04:55 PM
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#15
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 317
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I voted for the first option and I would have voted for the first three options combined depending on their level of financial need.
I would never turn my back on my adult children because I know they would not hesitate to return the favor.
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05-16-2009, 05:06 PM
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#16
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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05-16-2009, 05:10 PM
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#17
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA suburbs
Posts: 1,416
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I agree with the previous sentiment by Corporateburnout. I tried to vote for all three...ended up voting to forgo vacation. I would also give my DS my kidney or anything else I had in this world if he were truly up against it.
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05-16-2009, 05:12 PM
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#18
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: LaLa Land
Posts: 4,378
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I'd do what I had to do, isn't that what family is all about.
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05-16-2009, 05:13 PM
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#19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoDaresWins
I agree with the previous sentiment by Corporateburnout. I tried to vote for all three...ended up voting to forgo vacation. I would also give my DS my kidney or anything else I had in this world if he were truly up against it.
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Me Too !
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05-16-2009, 06:22 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 7,355
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What I would do depends on how much financial responsibility my children and their spouses have demonstrated. Some people are such big spenders that there is no way to help them, unless you are at least a decamillionaire. Even then, should one help his spendthrift offsprings or let them use this occasion for reform?
So, my answer is "It depends".
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