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Old 07-22-2016, 07:36 PM   #21
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I was thinking he was pretending he had a job and would just take off for 4 hours a day.....I guess I watch too much t.v.
My 25 year old niece did this recently while living with me for a month to "save up money for an apartment." I wish she had a father like Ray when she was growing up. My sister was way too easy.
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:40 PM   #22
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I think you need to call the U.S. Army recruiter and give him your son's name as a potential future soldier. Maybe his selling skills are strong enough to convince your son they have a place for him.

Try to live with him until he gets out of high school--and then move into a 1 bedroom apartment in Florida to see if you like living down there. Worse comes to worse, leave him behind. You've done your duty as a parent when they're 18 years old and out of high school.
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:43 PM   #23
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My son's first job was at the local military base. One day he could not find his access badge. So he looked for it for about 2 hrs I took him to the base to look for it. Not there. Then over to the personnel office, security office, etc. After about 4 hrs of this stuff I uncorked on him and told him that had he worked for me I would have fired his ass and if he had been an airman I would have given him an article 15. He got the message real quick! a year later he still talks about that moment in his life. They do get it!
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:49 PM   #24
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Sorry, can't help myself...

Quote:
I then see my son sitting in the front seat with the seat back, air conditioning blasting with a towel over his face... I sense I am going to lose it in public... I tell him give me my access card and don't ever let me catch you... (You get the drift) and drive off.
So I'll bet all your son heard was "don't ever let me catch you...".

So he'll try to figure out how to not get caught, and maybe never figure out what you thought he was doing wrong.

I can just about guarantee a teenager is not going to relate to:
1. Running the old car that doesn't need additional time on the engine - Huh? Time? Engine? The clock shows the right time, and isn't the engine under the hood? WTF is the old man going on about now?

2. Wasting gas - I wasn't wasting it, I was using it to run the AC - I was hot. Doesn't Dad know you need to run the car to get the AC to work? He doesn't know much. I wonder how he manages to not get fired? And I wasn't going anywhere. I've heard about miles-per-gallon. So no miles, no gallons. Dad needs to get a clue!

3. If you not doing carts ...you are bagging or helping out.. - Wrong again, Dad. I was cooling off in the car. Geez!
-ERD50
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:52 PM   #25
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Ray,

Just part of being a parent, educating the young......and you assumed that he understood why goofing off was not a good idea......but he may not have understood the potential consequences as viewed by an employer.

My wife took on the job of manager of a local cold treat place (why, I'm not sure, not need the money but she enjoys the challenge of organizing anything whether PTA fundraiser or whatever) and is constantly having to train and supervise 14-21 year old kids. Some kids catch on quick regarding responsibility and how an employer views their "efforts", and some are just slow learners.....this w*rking to meet the employer expectations is all new to them.

One son recently took a placement test for determining what college math course to start with. Got a 73 (needed a 75) so was going to be assigned into a remedial course. This is a kid who took honors calc his senior year. He was just going to accept it. I pointed out that he would be out of sequence in math and if needed to catch up, it'd be a thousand dollar summer course. The school offered an online review course and re-test opportunities. Finally convinced him it would be a good idea to take the ten hours online and retest.....upped his grade to 86 and will avoid the remedial course. Turns out he was rusty with logs and practical aspect of trig. But I was fit to be tied that he wasn't willing to invest the 10 hours.
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:56 PM   #26
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I get it Ray. I had some grown a $$ men who said they wanted to work, refuse to work outside because they were cold! The one guy drove his car out in the middle of a log yard so he could get inside with heat. There was a large log loader working next to him that would have not noticed that car go crunch as the operator backed over it. I ran off six new hires that morning. Better to be cold than hungry.
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Old 07-22-2016, 08:48 PM   #27
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Now that I've had a chance to read some more, I'll add to my previous post...



Yep, I'm just simply amazed when I see some teenager on TV that seems so accomplished and comfortable with public speaking, and can respond to a question on the spot with something more than "ummm, fine". I guess I turned out mostly OK, but I wonder what I could have been with that kind of a head start.



To the OP - if many of the people on this forum could not figure out what you were talking about, and we are adults, and many of us have successfully raised kids to adulthood, I'm betting that your son won't understand a word of what you say, or try to non-verbally communicate. Don't assume anything.



-ERD50

+1to Options and ERD50. If I had been caught at some of the really dumb dumb dumb things I did when I was a teenager I would have been arrested. That part of my pre frontal cortex wasn't even close to developed. I shudder when I think of all the stupid things I did. Thank god I just lucked out and got smart sooner rather than too late.


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Old 07-22-2016, 09:16 PM   #28
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.... I come home and he's full of excuses; I wasn't having any of it --I suggest he retire to his bedroom. ...
What was his excuses? I think people here are still confused as to what happened?

-ERD50
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Old 07-22-2016, 09:21 PM   #29
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Open the instruction book you got from the hospital when he was born, you know, the one with the title on the cover that says "How to Raise Children".

Find the chapter: "Boys, the Teen Years"....(if you can find it).

Actually, the chapter on girls is much more frightening.
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Old 07-22-2016, 09:24 PM   #30
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If I had been caught at some of the really dumb dumb dumb things I did when I was a teenager I would have been arrested. That part of my pre frontal cortex wasn't even close to developed. I shudder when I think of all the stupid things I did.
..snip
Thanks for the memories. I'm lucky I didn't kill myself and not from stupid tricks like some. I recall the first summer logging with my brother. He'd had me grease and change oil in equipment and when he came back there I was. Under a dozer changing oil, no blocking and the thing held up by the hydraulics! He d*mn near killed me. That lesson was quickly learned but there were many others. I sometimes wonder how I survived.
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:49 AM   #31
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As a former supervisor of 20+ salary and 150+hourly personnel, I wished that at least 10% of them had a parent like you, rayinpenn. People just don't get it. Teamwork, if everyone does a little no one does a lot, etc.

And then they bitc* about how the company makes million$. I tell them they have 100s of million$ invested, they should get millions.

Good job rayinpenn!
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:05 AM   #32
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I think you need to call the U.S. Army recruiter and give him your son's name as a potential future soldier. Maybe his selling skills are strong enough to convince your son they have a place for him.
This is a bit drastic. I sent mine to military school for HS- a lot of the same effects, but no danger of being sent to the Middle East (also a lot more expensive).

Ray, I feel your pain. After a frustrating day of trying to work to feed the family and putting up with whatever crap that entails, I can imagine feeling angry at a kid who has a job but doesn't take it very seriously. Keep letting him know you hold him to higher standards. They do pay attention. When DS took a grocery store job in college during the summers, he was pretty industrious- showed up on time even if he had to be there at 6:30 AM. When I told him how impressed we were with his work ethic, he said, "Mom, I remember how hard you worked to support us after you and Dad divorced". Wow. I had it much better than most single mothers: a college education, professional credentials and a stable, well-paying job. It really melted my heart!
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:17 AM   #33
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Sorry, can't help myself...

So I'll bet all your son heard was "don't ever let me catch you...".

..........
Thread wander....I made this mistake once. We had a supplier with an on site employee whose job it was to attend to the vendor's issues with MegaMotors. This employee spend all his time buying and selling Deloreans to ship back to Europe.

I called his boss and said "I'm tired of watching him goof off, while we fix your problems". They moved him to another location where I couldn't see him. Still goofing off.

Back to regular programming.
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Old 07-23-2016, 09:16 AM   #34
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I know on Friday I remained inside all day in SE NJ/PA. It was 92 with excessive humidity. A day later we're working towards heat warnings and 100 degree weather. Last week I know I had a difficult time crossing the parking lot with temp in the mid 90's. Can't imagine what it would be like pushing shopping carts.

As a teen, my first job was climbing into the back of cars at the car wash, then find a way to make the inside of the windows as clean as the outside. Probably an impossible task given that most peopled smoked heavily and the sun was beating down on those rear windows as I sprayed and wiped several times. Earned about 80 cents an hour or something like that.
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Old 07-23-2016, 09:31 AM   #35
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This thread reminds me of how the media goes crazy over some things that are said on the political trail
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Old 07-23-2016, 09:47 AM   #36
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I know on Friday I remained inside all day in SE NJ/PA. It was 92 with excessive humidity. A day later we're working towards heat warnings and 100 degree weather. Last week I know I had a difficult time crossing the parking lot with temp in the mid 90's. Can't imagine what it would be like pushing shopping carts.

As a teen, my first job was climbing into the back of cars at the car wash, then find a way to make the inside of the windows as clean as the outside. Probably an impossible task given that most peopled smoked heavily and the sun was beating down on those rear windows as I sprayed and wiped several times. Earned about 80 cents an hour or something like that.
you must be relatively small. otoh, one of my jobs as a teen was to climb inside a trash dumpster to compact the trash (jump up and down on it) so my boss could save on a dump truck call; yes, i was the biggest person in the warehouse
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Old 07-23-2016, 09:53 AM   #37
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What was his excuses? I think people here are still confused as to what happened?



-ERD50

I was tired
The car was only on for 2 minutes
I was caught up


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Old 07-23-2016, 09:55 AM   #38
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I was tired
The car was only on for 2 minutes
I was caught up
and I just reclined and put that towell over my head


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Old 07-23-2016, 10:13 AM   #39
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Dang, the kid has a job. Count your blessings! The crack pipe comment was along my line of thinking. I'd be more annoyed at myself for not having a defined plan for the access card.
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Old 07-23-2016, 10:55 AM   #40
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I remember my dad getting pretty frantic about seeing me with my hands in my pockets. It did sink in over time - it bothers me now to see someone standing around like that. I stayed lazy, but truly lazy life requires making the right moves at the right time - some call that efficient.
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