The straw that broke the camels back...

[Walt34]

I pointed out that he would be out of sequence in math and if needed to catch up, it'd be a thousand dollar summer course.

.....But I was fit to be tied that he wasn't willing to invest the 10 hours.

Maybe because it wasn't his thousand dollars?

Like others, I did some things in my teen years (and younger) that make me wonder now how I'm still alive.

 

[Mulligan]

I'm with Ray, his son should not be goofing off and sitting in the car with A/C running when son is supposed to be working. All this teenage brain does not think right is an excuse. His son needs to be held responsible, no excuses. This is called learning from your mistakes and being responsible for your actions.

None of us are perfect, but I doubt there is one of use that, in the shoes of the grocery store employer, would find the son's actions acceptable.

If it was so hot the son needed a break, then he should have asked mgr to alternate with another one or two bag boys to get the carts and help bag inside to cool down. Although I doubt it was that bad at 9:45 am.

What, a second old schooler crawling out of the woodwork? That is why those Neanderthal school administrators paddled back in the day. It wasn't so much for the offense, is was for the other 10 kids watching to see if they could get away with it too without repercussions. And based on the personal experience of this knuckle dragger, it worked!


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[Bestwifeever]

We were mean parents and I was the first to yell at our kids and any other kids who were involved in interesting escapades. One memorable incident involving junior high boys and the lesson learned from it: an unattended gas can doesn't mean they should pour some out and light it on fire. Just to see what happens. Next to a bank. With a camera on them. Police will be involved.

One of the important results of working is that young people have to meet other adults' expectations of them. OP's son needs to suffer the wrath of his boss at the grocery store.

 

[Gumby]

His son needs to be held responsible, no excuses. This is called learning from your mistakes and being responsible for your actions.

No doubt, but I think getting fired by the boss will convey that message far more effectively than any number of fatherly lectures ever could.

 

[Walt34]

...an unattended gas can doesn't mean they should pour some out and light it on fire. Just to see what happens. Next to a bank. With a camera on them. Police will be involved.

You mean all teenage boys don't do stuff like that? They're slow. I did it when I was about eight.

And yeah, my parents didn't have any sense of adventure and experimentation either.

 

[rayinpenn]

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses
1 yep I'm old school
2 he knows better
3 it isn't the end of the world

I'll never forget it ...in the parking lot coping Zs in the car with the air conditioning running...
I'm disappointed but I'm still laughing.


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[Bestwifeever]

You mean all teenage boys don't do stuff like that? They're slow. I did it when I was about eight.

And yeah, my parents didn't have any sense of adventure and experimentation either.

Don't even get me started on the teenage years. I still don't know which boy really was responsible for the gutter being torn from the house when they climbed out DS's bedroom window in the middle of one night--almost 20 years later and they still won't 'fess up, that's how scared they are of me.

 

[ERD50]

I'm with Ray, his son should not be goofing off and sitting in the car with A/C running when son is supposed to be working. ...

I don't think anyone in this thread said or thinks it was OK for the kid to be sitting in the car when he should have been working.

All this teenage brain does not think right is an excuse. His son needs to be held responsible, no excuses.

It's not an excuse - it's an explanation.

This is called learning from your mistakes and being responsible for your actions.

That's the point I'm trying to make, the son needs to learn from this. Yelling at him, telling him not to get caught might not accomplish that.

None of us are perfect, but I doubt there is one of use that, in the shoes of the grocery store employer, would find the son's actions acceptable.

Again, I don't think anyone disagrees.

If it was so hot the son needed a break, then he should have asked mgr to alternate with another one or two bag boys to get the carts and help bag inside to cool down. Although I doubt it was that bad at 9:45 am.

This needs to be explained to the son. It's obvious to you and me, it may not be to the teenager.

...One memorable incident involving junior high boys and the lesson learned from it: an unattended gas can doesn't mean they should pour some out and light it on fire. Just to see what happens. Next to a bank. With a camera on them. Police will be involved. ...

I hope it's OK for me to laugh at this point (assuming you can laugh now too)

I will remember to thank my kids, for being relatively uneventful so far. That sounds much closer to something I [-]would have done[/-] did.

Mine personal escapade was was reading about how a charging lead-acid battery produces hydrogen gas, and that hydrogen gas is explosive! Cool! So I held a match to a garden tractor battery as it charged.

Blew the cap off. Scared me enough to think about the fact that there is sulfuric acid in there. And the Hindenburg. I got lucky, exploding batteries can be extremely dangerous. Good thing my kids never did anything that stupid (that I know of). But then again, I have lectured them on safety stuff.

-ERD50

 

[Major Tom]

I had a pretty good work ethic even as a teenager. For some reason, I didn't go through that "lazy teenager, underdeveloped prefrontal cortex" phase. However, I did do a few silly (yet fun) things in other areas of my life. At the time, I thought that my parents didn't know. Looking back, I think they were aware, but had the grace and good judgement to pull back and let me make my own decisions and mistakes, and deal with the consequences.

I'm glad they did. When a kid gets to his/her teenage years, the majority of the parent's work is done, and the outside world can take over in delivering consequences for actions. Certainly, parents can (and should) still set boundaries if for no other reason than to maintain their own sanity but at this point, the big bad world can do it so much better

 

[travelover]

...........Mine personal escapade was was reading about how a charging lead-acid battery produces hydrogen gas, and that hydrogen gas is explosive! Cool! So I held a match to a garden tractor battery as it charged.
................

As kids we used to mix lye, water and aluminum foil in a soda bottle, then put a balloon over the top. The hydrogen and hot air would fill the balloon, which we'd then tie off and release......with a fuse attached. When it got way up there - FLASH BLAM!

Thankfully, no one died and several of us became engineers, another a pharmacist.

 

[Walt34]

As kids we used to mix lye, water and aluminum foil in a soda bottle, then put a balloon over the top. The hydrogen and hot air would fill the balloon, which we'd then tie off and release......with a fuse attached. When it got way up there - FLASH BLAM!

I wish I'd have known about that when I was that age. Of course, after a couple of glasses of wine I'm not above doing it now....

 

[travelover]

I wish I'd have known about that when I was that age. Of course, after a couple of glasses of wine I'm not above doing it now....

Hint, pre-inflate the balloon to stretch it so it fills out larger.

 

[Gumby]

The really good thing about having a father only 18 years older than me is that I got to do all sorts of incredibly dangerous things. Like my oh so mature 23 year old dad letting me shoot firearms when I was 5, light off firecrackers and ride on the motorcycle. I'm amazed my mother survived it all.

 

[imoldernu]

Some day Ill write a book about a kid... I say kid because DW and I had three angels and one divil... Chris was the divil, and enough stories, (like driving through a house back in '79) to provide 36 episodes in a TV series.
Here's one...
He was Sophomore in a modern High School in '76. A Sophomore Class Dance, in the County H.S, with about 1600 students. Chris wasn't much on dating then.. he was into cars, and mechanics, and... skipping school... (got off the school bus and didn't go to class... days at a time).

I was self important... a figure in the community, Store Manager, Scoutmaster, Jr. Chamber of Commerce and stuff like that. (by way of background)

So, let me set the scene... the dance was in the huge gymnasium, and the large ante room was a block of glass walled offices... Principal, and assorted school officials.

8:00 PM the night of the dance... DW and I watching TV... Telephone call...
Mr. Rogers, the Sophomore Class Advisor... "Could you come down to the school?"... No reason, but we could guess.

That afternoon, DS, and his buddy did some... a lot... of beer drinking, then had a huge spaghetti dinner at friend's house. Then... yeah... then... Chris went to the dance...

No kidding... Ya had to be there... DW and I drive to the school and go into the Gym area. Big crowd of kids in suits and gowns standing around the glass walled principal's office. Staring and giggling. There in front of the principals desk, ... the Principal, Mr. Rogers, and another teacher standing together, holding a horizontal Chris who is on his stomach, with his head over a waste paper basket... giving up the last of the spaghetti dinner.

Not the worst of the stories, but for us, likely the most memorable. Another time, will recall the house drive through... 72 Oldsmobile. .. Neighborhood split level.

For all of that, we miss him a lot, as he died unexpectedly in 1995... He packed a lot of adventure, fun, and love into that too short life.

 

[RE2Boys]

This has been a great thread. Riding in the car with one of my sons, I related the rayinpenn story of his son "resting" in his car and gave the adult perspective that he was not doing what he was hired to do and from an adult or employer perspective, could be fired for such actions. Used it as a opportunity to give my son a different perspective.

 

[rayinpenn]

. He packed a lot of adventure, fun, and love into that too short life.

Sounds like a great kid...


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[NW-Bound]

As kids we used to mix lye, water and aluminum foil in a soda bottle, then put a balloon over the top. The hydrogen and hot air would fill the balloon, which we'd then tie off and release......with a fuse attached. When it got way up there - FLASH BLAM!

Thankfully, no one died and several of us became engineers, another a pharmacist.

I recalled doing something similar, except using sulfuric acid from a car battery and a piece of zinc pried off a D cell battery.

The hydrogen that was generated seeped right through the balloon that I put on top of the test tube. So, the balloon never really inflated and stayed limp.

I decided to light it anyway. Poof! Then a small Pop! Not much of a flame, nor an explosion, but the little flame was hot enough to burn my fingertips. I was hurting for a few days, and remember that incidence till now. I was about 11.

 

[EastWest Gal]

My son's first job was at the local military base. One day he could not find his access badge. So he looked for it for about 2 hrs I took him to the base to look for it. Not there. Then over to the personnel office, security office, etc. After about 4 hrs of this stuff I uncorked on him and told him that had he worked for me I would have fired his ass and if he had been an airman I would have given him an article 15. He got the message real quick! a year later he still talks about that moment in his life. They do get it!

Firing someone over a misplaced access badge? How about deactivating it and issuing another? Way cheaper than training someone new. Are we all supposed to be perfect at everything 100% of the time? Sheesh. The world is unforgiving enough without throwing unforgiving parents in the mix. I hope your wife and kids forgive your minor mistakes, as you should theirs.

People make mistakes. Resting from the heat while collecting shopping carts is hardly a mistake; there is potential that you misinterpreted his actions. It is not nearly as important as making a mistake during surgery or making a decimal point error in a medication, or driving the wrong way on a freeway off ramp (DH did that due to poor signage in Boston while we were on vacation). Why are so many unforgiving of others?


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[Mulligan]

Firing someone over a misplaced access badge? How about deactivating it and issuing another? Way cheaper than training someone new. Are we all supposed to be perfect at everything 100% of the time? Sheesh. The world is unforgiving enough without throwing unforgiving parents in the mix. I hope your wife and kids forgive your minor mistakes, as you should theirs.

People make mistakes. Resting from the heat while collecting shopping carts is hardly a mistake; there is potential that you misinterpreted his actions. It is not nearly as important as making a mistake during surgery or making a decimal point error in a medication, or driving the wrong way on a freeway off ramp (DH did that due to poor signage in Boston while we were on vacation). Why are so many unforgiving of others?


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I am in the middle of you EastWest and JDarnell. I wouldnt fire. I believe in ass chewing and "coaching them up". If that dont work, then the hook. I am probably a bad person EW, but if I had you as a boss, I would have given about 75% effort on the job as a teenager. If I had JDarnell as my manager I would have given all I had as I know I wouldnt want to get fired....I would have liked you more as an employee, but I would have got more work done for JD!


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