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The Technology of tracking your college freshman...
Old 08-31-2017, 08:06 PM   #1
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The Technology of tracking your college freshman...

When we moved him in we saw there were 4 suites in his building. 2 had women - thinking back to my own college days I thought thats convenient. Our first contacts with him revealed a reluctance to eat at the cafeteria. The meal plan cost a couple thousand. I tried to limit contact but I knew and worried not eating healthy isn't good.

Welcome technology. The Mrs went on line and could see that he had a $9 meal today around 2:00pm. We checked if there was credit card charges and if any grades had been posted. Big brother is watching!

First contact "we had some excitement here they had a party downstairs and police came and an ambulance"

A couple days later: "I went to a party last night, had a good time - I ended up talking to one of the girls from next door" there was an unusual enthusiasm in his voice. Sweet Moses.

I've done all I can but does that mean I shouldn't worry.
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Old 08-31-2017, 08:22 PM   #2
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Worrying is what all parents do.

Using technology to track your college kid's activities is what helicopter parents do.
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Old 08-31-2017, 08:27 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post

First contact "we had some excitement here they had a party downstairs and police came and an ambulance"

A couple days later: "I went to a party last night, had a good time - I ended up talking to one of the girls from next door" there was an unusual enthusiasm in his voice. Sweet Moses.
OMG, you saved me another counselling co-pay. I was roaring with laughter,. Thanks Ray I owe you.
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Old 08-31-2017, 08:27 PM   #4
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Old 08-31-2017, 08:39 PM   #5
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The parent part of me really feels for you Ray.

The forever 20 year old part of me recalls having a great time in college. Drank too much, enjoyed my time with young women, made lifetime friends, graduated with honors and was married to my last college girlfriend for 30 years. The degree opened doors, but the life experience was invaluable.

I hope I can keep the life experience part at the forefront when my oldest heads off in 2 years. I'm sure it won't be easy.

I think your son will find his way through, even if you're not monitoring him. He has a good example at home, and I think most kids end up following that, though it may take some experience for him to get there.

ETA - some lessons can't be taught, they must be learned. The learning is cheaper when you're young.
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Old 08-31-2017, 08:45 PM   #6
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A $9 pizza sandwiched around 2 parties.

Sounds about right

little story about tracking. In Middle School the teachers were to post homework & test scores every day. I started getting on Lil Scrapr about missed assignments, etc. Mrs Scrapr then hauled me down to the Asst Principal. Who told me to back off. The teachers are not always diligent about posting things up timely. I quit relying on them (to do their job)
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Old 08-31-2017, 09:00 PM   #7
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Girls next door. How convenient. "Sweet Moses."

Thanks Ray. I can't stop laughing. Hang in there, and good luck to you and your son.
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Old 08-31-2017, 09:11 PM   #8
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My girlfriend's son at MIT lived in a co-ed fraternity.

How times have changed -
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Old 08-31-2017, 09:14 PM   #9
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If the worst thing that ever happens too him is that he has too many women, be glad, very glad. Women are a big help in life. And they generally smell very good.

Ha
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Old 08-31-2017, 09:26 PM   #10
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Not having grown up in the US, I have never understood the whole college partying/sex/alcohol/drugs thing. College, for me, was lived at home, and was deadly serious.

Rayinpenn, you remind me of my mother!
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Old 08-31-2017, 09:36 PM   #11
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I did all the drugs I could get my hands on, had sex as much as possible, got puking drunk and lived in a social fraternity with a bunch of guys that did the same.

Graduated in 1977, BSEE, retired at 59, multi-millionaire. Steak & Lobster. Wagyu. Caviar & Champagne. Still smoking dope legal, still having sex, still drinking.

Life is good -
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Old 09-01-2017, 05:39 AM   #12
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Tech was a bit limited in 2005 when he went upstate NY. I did not think he would get through 4-5 years. Yeah, there were a few police incidents, but he made the grade. FT offer before graduating, and has gone on to see the world. Back here for Burning Man, he's living each day for sure.

By starting to cut strings that first day, it set him on the "right" road. Founds jobs, starting paying his own freight, and made me proud. Paid off his loans, gave sister a car, and gifted us a bunch of stock, too.

At some point, he told us to drop the meal plan. He had joined the staff at school cafeteria, made a little money, and ate all he wanted.
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The Technology of tracking your college freshman...
Old 09-01-2017, 06:02 AM   #13
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The Technology of tracking your college freshman...

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
.
Using technology to track your college kid's activities is what helicopter parents do.
My son is the king of the one word answer. Perhaps it is all that texting the kids prefer these days over a conversation. So it is difficult to get a sense of how he's doing. I loved college, home was full of stress and college was simple. A few weeks ago he was living the life of Reilly, on his computer gaming staying up until 2am and getting up at midday. Mom took too good care of all his needs. I expect he like many of his freshmen colleagues are discovering a new life, one with 9AM classes and homework. I just want to get a sense that he's making the transition.

As to being a helicopter parent.. hardly. The daughter was regularly on the phone with the Mrs so we had a sense of how she was doing. Him it's like pulling teeth. How are your classes? "Ok, I don't like English"..

Three day weekend and he's an hour and a half away. I guess we will know if he's coming home when the door opens...
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:27 AM   #14
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If my parents had an ATM card to track me with, they would be worried. It would have said Walgreens, Walgreens, Walgreens over and over as is I was sick. Back then, Walgreens was the biggest seller of beer in town.
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:27 AM   #15
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wait until your realizes he can turn off all these notifications to you... unless you say "let me see or I don't pay" there will not be much you can do.
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:02 AM   #16
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Quote:
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Worrying is what all parents do.

Using technology to track your college kid's activities is what helicopter parents do.
Agreed! Don't do it! Just like you back then, he has to make his own experiences. Good and bad. Hard to stand by and not interfere, I know, I went through it twice with my kids. But you need to trust that you equipped them with the survival skills they need during the previous 18 years. You won't be there forever to watch them
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:04 AM   #17
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Never had sex, not a single drop of alcohol until I was 21 and had a great time making friends, hiking, whitewater canoeing and getting my chemical engineering degree. Also met my girlfriend and now wife of 39 years. You do realize that you can't even legally get access to your son's grades without his permission?
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:08 AM   #18
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Wait until the letter from the judge* comes to your home address instead of his college address. After all, his driver license still has your address on it, right?

*Return address on official envelope.
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:13 AM   #19
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My son is the king of the oneword answer. The daughter was regularly on the phone with the Mrs so we had a sense of how she was doing. Him it's like pulling teeth. How are your classes? "Ok, I don't like English"..

Three day weekend and he's an hour and a half away. I guess we will know if he's coming home when the door opens...
There is nothing at all unusual about this observation. I bet it represents 9 out of 10 experiences here on the board with the one being split equally between "even worse", "a little better", and "don't remember"
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:19 AM   #20
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Shoved the oldest out the door after high school, plan to do the same with the youngest next fall.

Talk all the time with the oldest, but they belong to Uncle Sam now & for several years after graduation.

But they can live at home after graduation, if they pay me their housing allowance while they're at med school.
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