The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power

[obgyn65]

"“The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power” was the conference presented last week by Mika Brzezinski, host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” and Arianna Huffington, editor in chief of the Huffington Post, at Ms. Huffington’s new apartment in TriBeCa (some 200 people squeezed into her living room).
(...)
The message, one that Ms. Huffington is promoting in her publication and in speeches, is particularly aimed at women. “The way we define success isn’t working,” Ms. Huffington said at the conference. “More, bigger, better — we can’t do that anymore.”

The concepts seem a little fuzzy at times, but the overarching thesis is that it is time to rethink the common wisdom of how to achieve success: sleep four hours a night, work 20 hours a day, see your family rarely and never admit the need for downtime.

That system is wearing us down, Ms. Huffington said. In her commencement speech this year at Smith College, she told students, “If we don’t redefine success, the personal price we pay will get higher and higher. And as the data shows, the price is even higher for women than for men. Already women in stressful jobs have a nearly 40 percent increased risk of heart disease and a 60 percent greater risk for diabetes.
“Right now, America’s workplace culture is practically fueled by stress, sleep deprivation and burnout,” she said.

The answer? To create a movement that embraces the idea that physical and spiritual wellness — from meditation to exercise to good nutrition — are integral to, not separate from, a successful life. "

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/15/y...-the-successful-life.html?ref=your-money&_r=0

 

[bUU]

The reality is that money and power do have that capacity corrupt the entire system such that the lack thereof tends to preclude other aspects of life, as if a type of first-strike capability.

It is analogous to two roommates, one that wants to party all the time, and the other that likes to party a little, but also meditate a little, and apply themselves to constructive work a little. The partying roommate has the capacity to impose a partying atmosphere, while meditation (or the attempt thereof) and concentrating on some task (or the attempt thereof) don't interrupt partying.

 

[ERD50]

Reminds me of a thread a while back where the multi-millionaire was telling us how wonderful it was to live in a small space. Of course he had already lived the 'big life' that most can only dream of. And he spent the combined portfolios of about 30 ER members to renovate his 'small space'.

So millionairess Huffington, with a living room capacity of 200, tells us maybe it would be good if we don't work so hard, and don't try to aspire to the things she already has? Irony much?

And if these women listen to her (it says her message was aimed at women), and work less hard then men, there will be another report in her on-line publication bemoaning that women make less than men, and it's not fair!


-ERD50

 

[obgyn65]

Happy to report I never renovated my condo

 

[daylatedollarshort]

We have been doing the same rethinking about success and happiness in our household. We have been making and planning life changes along those lines - cutting expenses, decluttering, only working from home, getting ready to downsize, and taking time to go for walks and to the park every day.

In England, they now track a happiness indicator, and not just financial numbers like GDP -
Prime Minister unveils 'happiness index' - UK Politics - UK - The Independent

 

[MasterBlaster]

Ariana Huffington, Mika Brzezinski and others aside, there is a name for this trend and it has been going on for quite some time. The trend is referred to as "simple living". Basically it is where people make intentional downsizing simplifications in their lives to improve lifestyle quality.

<from Wikipedia>

Simple living encompasses a number of different voluntary practices to simplify one's lifestyle. These may include reducing one's possessions or increasing self-sufficiency, for example. Simple living may be characterized by individuals being satisfied with what they need rather than want.

...

Adherents may choose simple living for a variety of personal reasons, such as spirituality, health, increase in quality time for family and friends, work–life balance, personal taste, frugality, or reducing personal ecological footprint and stress. Simple living can also be a reaction to materialism and conspicuous consumption.

all that stuff people aspire to doesn't really make them happy anyway, and what they give up for it in terms of stress, and long hours on the job, and loss of family time is an incredibly bad tradeoff.

 

[Midpack]

No harm in trying the same thread again... http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/redefining-the-successful-life-67089.html

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Reminds me of a thread a while back where the multi-millionaire was telling us how wonderful it was to live in a small space. Of course he had already lived the 'big life' that most can only dream of. And he spent the combined portfolios of about 30 ER members to renovate his 'small space'.-ERD50

Well, there's always Thoreau's books and the Your Money or Your Life book to consider if you think the multimillionaires are hypocrites.

There are also lots of cool videos on simple living and small apartments and houses at faircompanies.com by people who aren't wealthy.

Here is one by people who went to simple living, working at home and a tiny house to avoid going broke and having to work 4 jobs -

"Shotgun shack" family remodels tiny home for $700 DIY-style - videos - *faircompanies

 

[steelyman]

Well, there may be something worth reading later on this week.

Reminds me of a thread a while back where the multi-millionaire was telling us how wonderful it was to live in a small space. Of course he had already lived the 'big life' that most can only dream of. And he spent the combined portfolios of about 30 ER members to renovate his 'small space'.

So millionairess Huffington, with a living room capacity of 200, tells us maybe it would be good if we don't work so hard, and don't try to aspire to the things she already has? Irony much?

And if these women listen to her (it says her message was aimed at women), and work less hard then men, there will be another report in her on-line publication bemoaning that women make less than men, and it's not fair!

-ERD50

 

[Semiretired2008]

There was a period of time in my life that I thought 60 hour weeks were getting time off and that sleeping over 5 hours in a night was a waste, but that is also what drove me to get out of that rat race.

I had a boss once that thought anything over 4 hours sleep was a waste - he is still working even today - when he could be collecting social security. We are still acquaintances even today. I have no idea what he does with his money - I know he lives good, but overall it does not show at the level one might believe in their lifestyle.

I have talked to him about retiring and he believes that is for losers. I am hoping that some day the light turns on and he realizes his waste...

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Naw, it's all money and power.

But Homey don't play dat game.

 

[Midpack]

There was a period of time in my life that I thought 60 hour weeks were getting time off and that sleeping over 5 hours in a night was a waste, but that is also what drove me to get out of that rat race.

I had a boss once that thought anything over 4 hours sleep was a waste - he is still working even today - when he could be collecting social security. We are still acquaintances even today. I have no idea what he does with his money - I know he lives good, but overall it does not show at the level one might believe in their lifestyle.

I have talked to him about retiring and he believes that is for losers. I am hoping that some day the light turns on and he realizes his waste...

What makes you think retirement is his (or anyone else's) best choice? Some people would rather work for a variety of reasons - nothing wrong with that. Though (too) many people work because they must or don't know what else to do, it is actually possible to work and fully appreciate what life has to offer. You don't have to retire to find yourself or a more meaningful life as some here would have us believe.

 

[timo2]

The last time our organization reduced our groups budget, the phrase the executives came out with that surprised us was that we should do "less with less". Their intention was the intent of the redefining success concept. But then it devolved into work smarter, blah blah blah.

 

[W2R]

A turning point in one's life can occur (at any age, I believe) if/when we turn our focus inward and started figuring out who we actually are and what we really want to do, be, and have.

Many of us never do this and spend our entire lives reacting to external pressures instead of initiating steps to get from point A to a point B of our own choosing. I think that for most of us, defining success as "money and power" sounds like a reaction to external pressures, not a definition that is likely to be flowing from any serious introspection and contemplation.

We need to be really honest with ourselves, or it is possible to spend our lives striving for one illusory goal after another and wondering why we feel no satisfaction from our accomplishments.

 

[Semiretired2008]

What makes you think retirement is his (or anyone else's) best choice? Some people would rather work for a variety of reasons - nothing wrong with that. Though (too) many people work because they must or don't know what else to do, it is actually possible to work and fully appreciate what life has to offer. You don't have to retire to find yourself or a more meaningful life as some here would have us believe.

Work is the main avenue that he uses to appreciate life - he really knows nothing else and will continue till he no longer can. What I have tried to introduce to him is the appreciation of things beyond work...

He is truly happy the way his life is... and for that I cannot fault him...

 

[ER Eddie]

It's a good topic. I don't know that I have any brilliant wisdom to impart. I am still struggling to find my own barometer of success, separate from the culture's, and to live up to it. I do know that the culture's definition of success is not a healthy one, at least not for me. Finding my own way has been hard, though. I guess it would've been easier had I been able to agree with other standards on offer (e.g., from organized religion), but I'm too inherently oppositional/independent for that.

I suppose my current standards for "success" have something to do with trying to be honest, compassionate, and contributing a little to the betterment of the world somehow. I think it all comes down to love and compassion, really. I sometimes think that, if I have loved just a little, then my life is a success -- although I suppose that's a low bar.

I also think the question is maybe a problematic one. Are we asking what is a universal standard that applies to everyone? Or are we asking what our own individual standard is? I'm a little leery of a one-size-fits-all definition of success. I would rather leave it up to the individual.

 

[Midpack]

I also think the question is maybe a problematic one. Are we asking what is a universal standard that applies to everyone? Or are we asking what our own individual standard is? I'm a little leery of a one-size-fits-all definition of success. I would rather leave it up to the individual.

It is up to the individual. But perhaps it's universal that there's more to life than money and/or accumulating "stuff." Unfortunately some/many people (especially in the US/western cultures) don't seem to realize 'the best things in life aren't things' and give too much weight to money & stuff. Hence articles like the OP linked to. YMMV

 

[ER Eddie]

I suppose that, since all human beings share a common biology, there are certain more or less "universal" answers to the question. For instance, good relationships, health, leisure, and interesting "work" (by which I mean anything that engages your mind and energies, paid or unpaid). I still want to leave it up to the individual, though, and those are pretty abstract labels, with plenty of room for individual variation.

Re. materialism.... I grew up in an unhappy, upper middle class home. I think that experience convinced me that money doesn't have much relationship to real success. I think material success is a means to an end, and it's the ends we choose that matter. Money can help (for instance, it's helping me to ER, which hopefully will help me create a more successful life), but piles of money are not required in most cases. People pursuing material success in and of itself seem to be caught up in the game itself and have lost the thread ... or perhaps are very invested in prestige, what the neighbors think, or feeling superior to others. I'm speculating.

To me, this is probably the most important philosophical or spiritual question there is. It's not one I have a complete answer for, although I've been looking for a long time. What is the purpose of life? What is "the good life"? I know it's not a big house and nice car -- that seems almost laughable, as an answer. But I won't pose as any guru. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

 

[haha]

I had a boss once that thought anything over 4 hours sleep was a waste - he is still working even today - when he could be collecting social security. We are still acquaintances even today. I have no idea what he does with his money - I know he lives good, but overall it does not show at the level one might believe in their lifestyle.

I have talked to him about retiring and he believes that is for losers. I am hoping that some day the light turns on and he realizes his waste...

Why? He clearly does not consider his way of life a waste. Can early retirees not tolerate someone else having a different approach?

Ha

 

[tangomonster]

I know it seems a bit disingenuous---Ariana Huffington talking up the simple things in life as a billionaire...kind of John Lennon singing about imagining there is no money and money can't buy him love (while enjoying lots of it!),

But still...I think she is on to something, just like the books like Affluenza.

I've always loved what is (probably mistakenly) attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction."

What I really hate is when people on talent shows like American Idol will talk about wanting to win so that they can give their families a better life. The implication is that unless you are rich and famous, life just isn't that great.

 

[grasshopper]

Wow, the four noble truths.

 

[Midpack]

Wow, the four noble truths.

Back in fashion somewhat...

 

[ERD50]

To each their own and all, but I guess I'm just dismayed at all the navel-gazing over issues like this.

If you are an adult, and still don't have a grasp of what is of value to you, and what 'balance' means to you, will you ever 'get it'? Can it be taught?

I'm reminded of the famous jazz quote:

What's jazz after all?
"Man, if you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know."
--- Louis Armstrong

In googling to make sure I got it right (I thought it was Dizzy), I came across a bunch of good ones that I find applicable:

Jazz / Quotes - MusicBrainz

"Life is a lot like jazz... it’s best when you improvise..."
--- George Gershwin

"I don't have a definition of jazz... You're just supposed to know it when you hear it."
--- Thelonious Monk usual useful and enlightening conceptions

"Boxing is like jazz, the better it is, the less people appreciate it."
--- [George Foreman]

"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."
--- Thelonious Monk

"Jazz is a music made by and for people who have chosen to feel good in spite of conditions."
--- Johnny Griffin

-ERD50

 

[ER Eddie]

I know it seems a bit disingenuous--- [...] But still...I think she is on to something, just like the books like Affluenza.

Sure, but what surprises me is that her observations are considered insightful in some way. I mean, isn't this obvious to anyone, that material acquisition isn't a way to a fulfilling life? I am almost embarrassed to say it, it seems like such an obvious and trite observation -- life isn't about stockpiling money. "He who has the most toys wins" is a bumper sticker, not a real idea to guide your life, unless you are some kind of mindless drone.

So what surprises me in all this, personally, is that her observations are at all surprising to anyone, or controversial, or insightful, or noteworthy in any regard. To me, they are just ... obvious to the point of "well, duh."

 

[HFWR]

"... mindless drone.

Ding ding ding