The youngest has job...

[rayinpenn]

His addiction to PC games has been the source of worry for the wife and I. He's woken me on several occasions screaming at 1AM while involved in some virtual battle with some other kids scattered about the country. We told him to go and get a job which, surprisingly he did. A super market - it took weeks before he actually started. His first day was 4 hours chasing carts. His second day 4 hours bagging plus two hours overtime.

Me: "So you got a lot of hours in for your first week?"
Son: "Yeah but I have no real need for money"
Me: "wouldn't it be nice to have spending money in college"
Son: "yeah I guess I've made $200 already"

The next week brought two full days (8hrs) cashier training. "I don't want to be a cashier" He came home after the first full day and I asked him how his day went "that was unpleasant".
The second day "we all passed - all you have to do is know the produce... I'm not good at apples yet." I guess the cashier job wasn't do bad after all.

We are overjoyed that he's out of the house, off the computer and being forced to socialize. Don't get me wrong he's neither wallflower nor a geek but kids today are different and getting out and about is a good thing.

He told me he "hates the carts" and "I don't know how the full timers do it - 8 hours on their feet?" Success! I want him to see that money is hard earned and manual labor can be arduous. It's funny I earn my living behind a computer screen in the summer I am envious of outside work - come November I can't get inside quick enough. My college summers were spent as a pallor car attendant and a park ranger..

He will be a senior in September and is good at math and loves the computer so we are steering his college search towards programming. He like me at 17 is clueless with what he wants - but unlike me he has the wife and I to lend a guiding hand.

Funny but I'll bet some years from now there will come a day when he will miss the carts. Maybe he will be like me and sit outside in a comfy chair and be happy to just experience the fresh air and dream of those summer days...


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[NW-Bound]

Ah, we have not had a thread like we used to quite often during the Great Recession, when we talked about how tough we had it in our youth.

Inevitably, someone will bring out the Four Yorkshiremen video, but the truth is that many of us did not have it as easy as our kids.

Not all kids have it easy now, mind you, but of the parents who already retired or aspire to, the posters here tend to do well. It's the curse of prosperity.

 

[SteveNU]

Sounds like my youngest. Hounded him to get a job for a while and finally showed him a job with UPS loading trucks in the morning. Surprisingly he went and got hired and is still there hoping to get a driver position someday. Then he went out on his own and got another part time job during the summer at the local AAA baseball park working in the warehouse. He is now the supervisor and loves it. Between the two jobs he might make $25k but he lives simply and has a nice fat bank account. Someday I know he will land something better but for now it is working nicely for him.

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[rayinpenn]

I'm afraid I conveyed a message that I didn't intend to; Yes my son has a pricy PC but other then the occasional new headset the kid has been pretty low maintenance. I offered a trip to Europe with the band he had no interest. He shares my 115k CRV and never a word of complaint.

I never had a dime growing up what I did have was stress. Worrying about whether there will be dinner -well I'd rather he focused on work and being a teenager.


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[Lsbcal]

Sounds to me like you have a really good kid there.

 

[Bamaman]

I too worry about the young living in North America. I've seen the gamers coming into computer stores customizing their computers, and they simply speak a different language. My DIL has a SIL that didn't for many works for year--spending 20 hrs. a day gaming.

I also worry about those (young and old) that are hung on their smart phones--24 hrs. a day. I seriously think my daughter would commit suicide if she didn't have her cellphone. What's so bad is that she's communicating with totally worthless individuals that have nothing to offer her.

Glad your son has a starter job as everyone has to start somewhere.

If we were full time gamers in 1968, in 12 weeks we'd be walking point in Vietnam. Many successful Baby Boomers chose college to avoid the military.

 

[pb4uski]

....He told me he "hates the carts" and "I don't know how the full timers do it - 8 hours on their feet?" ....

Ok kid, so, now that you see how hard the uneducated have to work for little pay then perhaps you'll decide to make the most of this opportunity that you have to attend college! The alternative is to end up like them... good people but working their butts off to provide themselves a relatively meager lifestyle. Your choice... chose wisely.

 

[Gumby]

My first job with a real paycheck was at McDonald's, when I was 16 years old. It wasn't very demanding, which was fortunate because I wasn't very good at it. The pay was commensurate with my abilities. But it was just a part-time after school job to get a little spending money, and my expectations weren't all that high anyway. What did catch my attention were the older people (30s and 40s) who worked there with me and who were obviously supporting a family on that meager paycheck. They were nice and treated me well, but I remember thinking that I sure didn't want to be in their shoes when I was that age. It provided a strong motivation to go to college.

 

[DrRoy]

Ok kid, so, now that you see how hard the uneducated have to work for little pay then perhaps you'll decide to make the most of this opportunity that you have to attend college! The alternative is to end up like them... good people but working their butts off to provide themselves a relatively meager lifestyle. Your choice... chose wisely.

The logic here seems obvious but so many still don't seem to get it. After 10 years since high school my youngest has gotten an associates in game programming. Even so, it does not seem that there are jobs unless you have a BS. He currently works for $8/hr. It is not clear what he will do next. It is frustrating for DW and I but you can't push on a string.

 

[rayinpenn]

College hasn't ever been a choice I'm my house .. Both DD and DS have the ability and do very well when they apply themselves. I'll credit my wife with helping DD develop a killer work ethic. I remember her sitting with our little girl at the kitchen table for hours until the math homework was done... Result: A in calc IV at a name university where she now tutors calc. The son on the other hand has only opened the books twice that I've seen in all of HS. Honors math and he had to do a little work. My rule is B or better or you hear about it.

In my opinion there is no bigger sin then lost opportunity. Work would pay for a second masters and guess what of course I did it. I'm not fooling myself college isn't a guarantee of a good life or a job for that matter.
But we've taken a few steps to help the process.
1. No women's studies : applied mathematics and computer science
2. I've stressed that in order to get interviews you need above a 3.2 GPA.

When we dropped her off as a freshmen "your mother and I could take some awesome vacations with the money we are spending here". If you don't do well your going to community college. Yeah sometimes I have to play the heavy.

So far so good. I count my blessings each and every day.

 

[Mulligan]

The logic here seems obvious but so many still don't seem to get it. After 10 years since high school my youngest has gotten an associates in game programming. Even so, it does not seem that there are jobs unless you have a BS. He currently works for $8/hr. It is not clear what he will do next. It is frustrating for DW and I but you can't push on a string.

Same here but 5 years after HS and quit college 15 hours short of degree. "Doesnt want to get a job in that field". Well, why didnt you figure that out BEFORE I paid for your college. Currently making $9 an hour in a dead end job living on her own....It works until it doesnt.
She wont listen to her parents, but it is her life. Though I highly suspect knowing her if I paid some "thugs" to "rough her up a bit" weekly until she finished her degree, she ultimately would thank me.


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[rayinpenn]

She wont listen to her parents, but it is her life...

Sometimes it takes some pain of struggling to figure it out. Eventually She will get the message. Diploma = $$$.
Be subtle and judicious in your comments. I don't know why it is we dads don't know anything?

Ok kid, so, now that you see how hard the uneducated have to work for little pay then perhaps you'll decide to make the most of this opportunity that you have to attend college! The alternative is to end up like them... good people but working their butts off to provide themselves a relatively meager lifestyle. Your choice... chose wisely.

Spot on! and trust me he will hear that more then once..

 

[bobandsherry]

My son, now 15 years ago, once told me that money wasn't that important. My immediate response was "money is like air, you don't think about either until you find you have none". He's learned along the way what "old Dad" was saying as he's now married and with two kids. Soon to switch to single income family he really understands it more today.

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[Mulligan]

Sometimes it takes some pain of struggling to figure it out. Eventually She will get the message. Diploma = $$$.
Be subtle and judicious in your comments. I don't know why it is we dads don't know anything?





Spot on! and trust me he will hear that more then once..

That was the frustrating part Ray.....You don't want to work in the subject area? Fine, finish out the sheepskin anyways, as it will put you in front of the line in other areas just because you have a technology degree. You may get a job you like that only has a cursory roll in technology, but the fact you have it may get you a job. Or down the road a promotion in your unrelated degree job just because you have the degree...etc, etc..Falls on deaf ears...Being poor gets old in your 30s and 40s... Especially when you see mom and dad (we are divorced from each other) living nice retired middle classes lives doing things we enjoy without financial stress.


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[Bestwifeever]

OTOH--some summer jobs will be remembered as the best job ever. Like everyone else in our family, DS spent several summers lifeguarding. He also bartended during college. I'm sometimes surprised he still isn't working in those jobs, he had so much fun with them.

 

[rayinpenn]

Just an FYI, I took 1 computer course in college. I make my living as a coder, data miner and I'd would have never guess I'd being doing this for a living and loving it...

How did I land the job ...2 masters they thought that was a big deal. I knew better.


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[Walt34]

... What did catch my attention were the older people (30s and 40s) who worked there with me and who were obviously supporting a family on that meager paycheck. They were nice and treated me well, but I remember thinking that I sure didn't want to be in their shoes when I was that age. It provided a strong motivation to go to college.

I had a similar experience in high school working at a gas station back when they still had someone else pump the gas, clean the windshield, etc. I was a shift supervisor and one guy was ~50 years old, which of course seemed ancient to me. I definitely did not want to be him!

For the OP, there is hope. DW's niece is married to a guy who according to his father spent so much time playing games on the computer he also worried his son would never be able to hold a job - any job. He's now making big bucks in IT, but he also has two master's degrees.

 

[Big_Hitter]

.

Me: "So you got a lot of hours in for your first week?"
Son: "Yeah but I have no real need for money"
Me: "wouldn't it be nice to have spending money in college"
Son: "yeah I guess I've made $200 already"



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maybe he'll meet someone and get to spend that cash on dates

 

[growing_older]

The son on the other hand has only opened the books twice that I've seen in all of HS. Honors math and he had to do a little work.

This is a surprisingly common scenario for bright kids. Unfortunately a lot of them really hit a wall in college when the classes get hard enough that they actually need to study and the old HS habits don't work anymore. Finding something that he needs to work at now may help inoculate him against unexpectedly failing grades or dropping out of college when his informal methods no longer work for him.

 

[Big_Hitter]

This is a surprisingly common scenario for bright kids. Unfortunately a lot of them really hit a wall in college when the classes get hard enough that they actually need to study and the old HS habits don't work anymore. Finding something that he needs to work at now may help inoculate him against unexpectedly failing grades or dropping out of college when his informal methods no longer work for him.

eventually, you have to study. found that out the hard way

 

[FUEGO]

Sounds like it worked out well, Ray.

I've already told my kids they would be partially responsible for paying for college (tuition and fees, at the least, will be on us), so that answers the "well, I don't really need money" rebuttal.

 

[38Chevy454]

I think all kids should work some and earn their own money. Primarily to let them understand what it takes to make a buck. But also to get a better appreciation for work itself. I tell younger people, you can make money with your back or your brain. One will make life a lot tougher and old before your time, the other is the easier route. So school and college are important, but there is no reason in my mind that any kid can't work some and contribute to their education expenses.

In all fairness for the question, I worked full-time during non-school time since 15 (had to ride my bicycle to work until I got my license) and then 20-25 hours/week part-time during school. I also graduated with no student debt, although I also did not go on spring break vacations, or spend the summers doing nothing. Being an engineer, I also did some co-op time in college, and took 5 years to get done. Been working FT ever since, and just two weeks ago stepped down to 3 days/week. It's been great.

For OP, glad you got your son out of the house some, it is good for him to have the job and to learn some of the working world. The discipline of working once school starts may be good for him, it will force him to allocate time for school vs studying vs game time. Good practice for life later.

 

[Mulligan]

eventually, you have to study. found that out the hard way

Isnt that the truth...First semester I took a class in my major got a C, and went to professor asking if there was extra credit...He just laughed. Thats when I knew it was time to dig in. Only 4 tests and nothing else for a grade. I don't know if I learned how to be a better student but I went to my only bag of tricks I knew...Look for testing tendencies and memorize everything in the short term memory bank. Pulled out top score last 2 exams and got the A for the semester.


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[rayinpenn]

maybe he'll meet someone and get to spend that cash on dates

Yeah, so that there was a squeeze -For a little while there.. A brilliant over achiever with a tiger mom. Lots of smooching.
It ended after a month or two. He won't discuss it but it was clear he ended it. I think she was into bling.. My son not so much.

Plenty of time for all that...


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[rayinpenn]

So he came home with the money from his first week. I said hand it over which he did and I gave it to his mom and said put it in his bank account. I think I'll have the Mrs have him go to the bank and make the deposit. I said you'll have a pile of money all your own. Won't that be nice. He said yes.

If you need spending money just ask..
Not sure it is the best way to handle it but WaWa isn't getting his pay. At least not on my watch.
I give him the spending money ...