Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy

mickeyd · 01-27-2006, 11:57 AM

The Theory of alcohol benefits as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.* Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.* This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.* Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.* In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

01-27-2006, 04:45 PM

Now this is Great!

dex · 01-27-2006, 06:33 PM

I must be a genius!

cute fuzzy bunny · 01-27-2006, 06:49 PM

I'm down to three or four really, really fast brain cells...

Dawg54 · 01-27-2006, 07:15 PM

I doubt if anyone on this board really drinks alcohol.* burp.......*

HFWR · 01-29-2006, 09:48 AM

I have a drinking problem...

Two hands, only one mouth...

01-27-2006, 11:57 AM	#1
mickeyd Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Texas~29N/98W Posts: 2,290	Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy The Theory of alcohol benefits as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.* Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.* This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.* Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.* In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. __________________ Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx In dire need of: faster horses, younger woman, older whiskey, more money.

01-27-2006, 04:45 PM	#2
Cut-Throat Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy Now this is Great!

01-27-2006, 06:33 PM	#3
dex Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 3,057	Re: Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy I must be a genius! __________________ Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. This man knew how to live--and how to make others glad they were living. - Jack Benny at Nat King Cole's funeral

01-27-2006, 06:49 PM	#4
cute fuzzy bunny Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ... Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Losing my whump Posts: 22,527	Re: Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy I'm down to three or four really, really fast brain cells... __________________ Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist

01-27-2006, 07:15 PM	#5
Dawg54 Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Mississippi Posts: 3,228	Re: Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy I doubt if anyone on this board really drinks alcohol.* burp.......* __________________ The born loser.

01-29-2006, 09:48 AM	#6
HFWR Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ... Join Date: May 2005 Location: DFW Posts: 5,437	Re: Theory of Alcohol Benefits from Cliffy I have a drinking problem... Two hands, only one mouth... __________________ Have Fun When Retired Never mind the furthermore, the plea is self defense...

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