Time for the introverts

[easysurfer]

"Susan Cain says it's time introverts like her get their due. Western culture seems to fawn over attention-seeking extroverts while introverts have been overlooked. But no more, she says."

Time for introverts to get some appreciation - USATODAY.com


I didn't know Warren Buffet is considered an introvert.

 

[NW-Bound]

But, but, but, the introverts do not want the limelight!

 

[Nords]

Like NW says, we introverts already have all the attention we want!

I didn't know Warren Buffet is considered an introvert.

He's so introverted that he's on the edge of Asperger's.

You should read the chapter in "The Snowball" where Warren met Bill Gates. Bill's parents actually suggested to the two of them that they should stop giggling together in the corner and mingle with the other guests...

 

[Walt34]

A lot of it fits with my own experience.

"Rampy, a non-profit executive director, says a decade of teaching helped her be more extroverted. "When practicing against type, it wears you out," Rampy says. "I had no difficulty doing it, but it was kind of exhausting by the end of the week."

After an especially busy week of police work - an extrovert's job if there ever was one - all I'd want to do for the next three days was go down in the basement and build a radio control model airplane. Including building the radio.

Then I'd be ready to go back to work.

 

[FIYes]

It seems that this forum attracts introverts...thinking back to all the Meyers-Briggs threads. I must say that I am one of the introverts attracted to this forum and to ER. A lot of introversion has to do with strong component of self direction...we do well with not having a boss to direct our days.

 

[antmary]

I used to be much more extroverted than I am now. I think it has to do with a lot of my stress being gone now that I don't have to go to work, other than the little, fun, self-employment venture I have going.

I treasure the time spent walking in the woods and just being and listening. I love to make art. Quiet time spent in learning - and contemplation is one of the most valuable gifts of retirement.

 

[easysurfer]

On the link to the self-test of the USA today article. Everyone of my answers was on the introverted side. So, I guess I fall in that category

 

[TromboneAl]

I'll bet many of you weren't more extroverted in the past, but just acted that way. That's true for me.

 

[Nuiloa]

According to the test, I'm so introverted I'm practically catatonic.

I agree with the writer though - putting up a front is exhausting!

I have always been baffled by people who look forward to parties. If you give me a job and I have to interact with people one on one for brief periods of time (e.g. selling raffle tickets), I do ok. But I just about tear the door of the hinges to get out of there afterwards.

Nui <----- shivers

 

[Nuiloa]

Al - do you find you can maintain the 'extrovert' trappings when you're performing?

I find I become my stage self and turn into a party-animal when I've got the false eyelashes on. I can keep it up for about 3 hours though, then I have to go find a hole to hide in.

 

[antmary]

I'll bet many of you weren't more extroverted in the past, but just acted that way. That's true for me.

Come to think of it, my core self is more like "Ferdinand the Bull." I like to hang out on the hill and smell the flowers

 

[TromboneAl]

Al - do you find you can maintain the 'extrovert' trappings when you're performing?

Good question. I don't really have to be much of an extrovert when performing. I just get up there and play. I introduce the band, and tell the audience when we'll be performing next, but the social interaction while playing is minimal.

HOWEVER, there is a lot of interaction during breaks, and with the guys in the band etc. I think this is why I never sleep well after a gig; it takes me about three days to get back into a good sleep cycle. I don't think this is from performance anxiety, which I do not have, but rather from having to be an extrovert.

 

[scrabbler1]

I would say I have a split personality when it comes to being introverted or extroverted, especially in the last 10 years.

When I was working, I was quite introverted. I rarely, if ever, wanted to have anything to do with nonwork office activities which involved other coworkers. For example, I never attended the evening holiday party in all the 23 years I worked. I rarely, if ever, went to any group luncheons unless I absolutely had to (and I disliked those a lot). I mainly kept to myself and just wanted to get home after a long day at work and the long, awful commute.

However, once I stopped working full-time and began working part-time in 2001, I resurrected an old hobby (advanced square dancing) and began my volunteer work with the National Scrabble Association's School Scrabble program, I became more extroverted in those areas. I liked being the center of attention and sometimes just acting silly. It is as if I am a different person when I am doing those things.

I still consider myself an introvert overall because I live alone and don't seek out company most of the time other than my ladyfriend (who is also rather introverted) and my best (male) friend.

 

[RetireBy90]

On the link to the self-test of the USA today article. Everyone of my answers was on the introverted side. So, I guess I fall in that category

Course one could say if you were so introverted, you wouldn't have posted it here, but kept it to yourself

 

[Major Tom]

All this talking about introversion is wearing me out...........

 

[Midpack]

I'll bet many of you weren't more extroverted in the past, but just acted that way. That's true for me.

+1, it was a job requirement for me. I tend to be an introvert only in a sea of strangers, have to force myself to break out in those situations. I learned to do so without too much trouble (and without resorting to sports or weather, too transparent)...but it was out of necessity.

 

[FIREd]

DW is an introvert who plays an extrovert at work. She fools a lot of people.

I have never been able to pretend to be an extrovert. Or maybe I have never cared enough to give it a real shot.

 

[easysurfer]

Course one could say if you were so introverted, you wouldn't have posted it here, but kept it to yourself

Could be. But one of the questions was something like "Do you prefer writing than speaking?"

Also, I think a forum like this is both public and private at the same time. Safe for both the extroverts and introverts, which is great.

 

[eytonxav]

The funny thing about being introverted, I used to think to myself, am I the only one in the crowd that feels this way, until I found this forum

 

[Nuiloa]

HOWEVER, there is a lot of interaction during breaks, and with the guys in the band etc. I think this is why I never sleep well after a gig; it takes me about three days to get back into a good sleep cycle. I don't think this is from performance anxiety, which I do not have, but rather from having to be an extrovert.

I know EXACTLY how you feel!

 

[Nuiloa]

.

When I was working, I was quite introverted. I rarely, if ever, wanted to have anything to do with nonwork office activities which involved other coworkers. For example, I never attended the evening holiday party in all the 23 years I worked. I rarely, if ever, went to any group luncheons unless I absolutely had to (and I disliked those a lot). I mainly kept to myself and just wanted to get home after a long day at work and the long, awful commute.

.

I could have written this

I would still classify you as an introvert, because the activities that put you in the spotlight are the ones that you control - and can walk away from whenever you want.

In addition to never understanding how people can get excited about going to a party, I've never understood the question "aren't you lonely?" Duh....nooooo!

You start to wonder if we're a different species, after awhile.

 

[Keim]

I am an introvert. True story:

I was at a regional work christmas party where I knew very few. My boss, seeing that I was not being social, walked up and asked why. I told him that I just wasn't very good in that type of social setting. He laughed and said let me show you how. We're going to have a pleasant conversation with the next two people we see.

A couple walked up and we proceeded to have a very nice conversation. After they drifted away, my very prim and proper boss turned to me and said "See? Wasn't that easy? You just have to pretend to give a f@ck."

To this day whenever I have to go to a party I tell my wife "Looks like its time for me to go pretend I give a f@ck." Always gets a giggle from her.

 

[TromboneAl]

Wasn't that easy? You just have to pretend to give a f@ck."

That's a great story, and I laughed out loud.

BUT, here's the thing. It's not that it isn't easy to socialize when you're an introvert. It can be easy but still unpleasant and tiring.

I can be a great conversationalist, and networker, because I know how to do it (Carnegie's Make Friends and Influence People explains it clearly: just the the other person to talk about themselves (aka pretend you give a f@ck). But I don't like it.

 

[Keim]

I hear you, T-Al. I can do it. I just don't like to.

The story would be even funnier to you if I could tell you where my former boss works. Suffice it to say that he is one of the top people now at a MAJOR national youth oriented nonprofit that teaches leadership and values.

The cognitivie dissonance I got from his attitude towards dealing w/people v the values the organization teaches was enough to make one see double.

 

[Midpack]

A couple walked up and we proceeded to have a very nice conversation. After they drifted away, my very prim and proper boss turned to me and said "See? Wasn't that easy? You just have to pretend to give a ____"

Only effective in some situations IMO, but it reminds me of a funny (work related) saying I ran across many years ago that always stuck in my head. No idea where it originated.

"The key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."