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Tipping for scattering ashes?
Old 07-14-2017, 10:01 AM   #1
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Tipping for scattering ashes?

In the next few months we will be scattering ashes at sea. The process takes about two hours. The fee for the boat, including the captain and his assistant, is $1000. Are these two guys to be tipped? If so, any thoughts about how much?
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:05 AM   #2
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In the next few months we will be scattering ashes at sea. The process takes about two hours. The fee for the boat, including the captain and his assistant, is $1000. Are these two guys to be tipped? If so, any thoughts about how much?
Is the captain the boat owner? If so in the past you did not need to tip owners of businesses. In general since you will likley not need to do business with them again tipping is not required according to the old rules.
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:21 AM   #3
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If it is not dead calm out on the water, use care when scattering or you'll end up wearing some of the ashes. I speak from personal experience. Sorry I can't speak to the tipping question, as it was from a US Navy submarine.
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:21 AM   #4
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If it were a fishing boat charter, I think the norm is that the captain just gets the charter fee. Mates often work for just tips, so 20% is usual. More if you actually catch fish.

For this kind of charter I have no idea.
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:23 AM   #5
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In the next few months we will be scattering ashes at sea. The process takes about two hours. The fee for the boat, including the captain and his assistant, is $1000. Are these two guys to be tipped? If so, any thoughts about how much?
I am doing the same thing in Hawaii this December, for my mother that passed in 1998. I just never had the time until now.

I am going to take a canoe, water bike, an outrigger or ?? and do it myself. I want a more quiet event than a larger boat. I am going to do it near Waikiki beach.

If I paid for the boat you are going on, I would maybe tip the assistant. It's not like they are setting up lines and catching fish. If they are just running the boat, and not much extra, I am not sure if I tip much of anything.
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:25 AM   #6
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If it is not dead calm out on the water, use care when scattering or you'll end up wearing some of the ashes...
Thanks for the tip
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:26 AM   #7
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Ive never been involved in this type of event, under these circumstances, before the event starts I would tip them before we left the dock. I would convey to them my wishes such as this is a solemn event, as we spread my relatives ashes. I appreciate if you would remove your hat and keep us company as we pray etc, . I dont know how many people are on the boat so let your conscious be your guide. I know as my mom aged she went into the funeral limos for her older and younger siblings funerals. I always greased the chauffeur and told him very directly, "Sir, this is my dearest mother. Please help her out of the car and hold her till I catch up. And Ill see you again". $20 for the first talk and $20 when I got to moms side again.
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Old 07-14-2017, 10:37 AM   #8
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If it were a fishing boat charter, I think the norm is that the captain just gets the charter fee. Mates often work for just tips, so 20% is usual. More if you actually catch fish.

For this kind of charter I have no idea.
I would go with that.

Second the advice on the calmness of the winds and sea. We did that with my parents remains but it was a family members boat.
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Old 07-14-2017, 01:42 PM   #9
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In keeping with my LBYM style, I scattered the ashes of both my parents myself, at their request. Dad in 1996 and Mom in 2012. It was in Jamaica Bay (NYC), which was my father's (and my) favorite fishing grounds.

I paddled out into the bay in my kayak on a calm weekday morning when nobody was around and poured them overboard when I got to a nice spot with a good view. Sat there for a bit, saying a final goodbye. Then paddled back to shore.

I seldom go to that area, but when I do I like to stand on the shoreline and look out to that spot and reminisce. I've always thought it was an excellent way to leave this world.
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Old 07-14-2017, 01:47 PM   #10
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I believe the custom is to tip the captain at the end of the trip. He then distributes it to the crew as appropriate.

I'd simply ask how it works if you're not sure.
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Old 07-14-2017, 02:51 PM   #11
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In keeping with my LBYM style, I scattered the ashes of both my parents myself, at their request. Dad in 1996 and Mom in 2012. It was in Jamaica Bay (NYC), which was my father's (and my) favorite fishing grounds.
Some of my late wife's ashes are in the Colorado River, some are at the Desert Bar outside Parker, AZ:

https://www.yelp.ca/biz_photos/the-d...tjFqfwuO_ev5kg

(She wasn't religious, but I placed them by the 'church' there.)
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