Tips for Father-of-the-Bride Toast?

[Mdlerth]

From personal observations as well as Toastmasters Training, short is good.

Humor is always welcome, but the anecdotes/jokes should somehow relate to the specific individuals getting hitched. Select some mildly negative trait the bride/groom is known to exhibit (e.g., poor housekeeping, tardiness, pranksterism) and recast it into how surprising and wonderful it now is that she overcame that flaw and is embarking on her happy matrimonial journey.

Then smile lovingly and sit down.

[kgtest]

My FIL and bride-to-be started running away the other direction as they approached the alter. I don't recommend that, I was embarrassed as all hell, and this was after I almost chucked my cellphone in the ocean after receiving a prank call that my own father's car had broken down on the side of the road on the way to the wedding and he may be "a little late".

Then I immediately called my best man who said calm down, calm down, he was just joking with you. He said, you are going to want to bring an ice pack though...I says to him why? He says 'Cuz bro your jaw is gonna hit the floor when you see your bride!'. That cheered me up!

The combined two gestures was enough for my serious personality to show it.

[kgtest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mdlerth From personal observations as well as Toastmasters Training, short is good. Humor is always welcome, but the anecdotes/jokes should somehow relate to the specific individuals getting hitched. Select some mildly negative trait the bride/groom is known to exhibit (e.g., poor housekeeping, tardiness, pranksterism) and recast it into how surprising and wonderful it now is that she overcame that flaw and is embarking on her happy matrimonial journey. Then smile lovingly and sit down.

This is a good point, my BIL's father made a crack about how his son's buddies would use his home as a crash pad, leaving behind a trail of BO and uncleanliness, and how when his bride-to-be started coming around all of a sudden things were quite tidy, a few plants even showed up in his home, and that BO smell had slowly gone away.

[mystang52]

I'm pretty funny and tell good jokes....just ask me. But others often don't find my jokes funny. So, keep in mind that if you push the humor thing too far, the funny points may not be so funny to the audience. I vote along with the others and suggest keep it brief, maybe one joke or 2, and definitely something nice and loving. That's what I did at my daughter's and son's weddings.

[TromboneAl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by COcheesehead ... delivered drunk, were rambling, contained bad jokes or were about him rather than the couple

Well, there goes that plan.

[harley]

You should do one of your videos. Work on it ahead of time, then just stand up, click the remote, and all the pressure is off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb4uski The real dilemma was selecting a song for the father-bride dance.

That's an easy one. I'm not a big country music fan, but I've never heard a better father/daughter dance than "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. Guaranteed to ruin more than one make up job.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg8Z69B6RFQ

[pb4uski]

Yes, that is an excellent one.

[GravitySucks]

When DD1 married I wrote a short speech welcoming my SIL into the family. Got about two lines in and ditched the speech and spoke from the heart.
Proud to have ruined every bridesmaid and mother of the groom's makeup.
Agree picking the song was tough. Everything teared me up....even Kermit the Frog doing Rainbow Connection.

[mn54]

make it short with a little humor. don't try to be a standup comedian. welcome the SIL and his family into your family and thank all the out of town guests for coming.

[Bestwifeever]

No one will remember it the next day beyond the bride and groom and the parents of the couple. Entertain all the guests but speak to them—they will expect a little humor, I’m sure.

[48Fire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TromboneAl In August I'll be giving a toast at my daughter's wedding. The pressure's on because I'm known among some as a funny guy. Any tips or suggestions? Things that worked for you? Good speeches you heard? This is the current start (Jenny=DD, Lena=DW): It took me a long time to write this toast. Jenny told me that I would have to have it approved by Lena [true], so that meant I had to write two speeches! Would people get that, or should I add, "The real speech and one to show to Lena"?

I like adding the clarification, "The real speech and one to show Lena".

I made a toast at our DD wedding three years ago. It went well, got a lot of laughs.

Here was my general outline:
1. Thank everyone for coming.
2. Say something nice about the wedding.
3. Say something funny about the groom, then follow up with something sentimental.
4. Say something funny about the bride, then follow up with something sentimental.
5. Wish them a happy marriage
6. Raise your glasses everyone!

Hopefully, your toast is early in the evening, before everyone is drunk. Mine was, and it was much better. If not, I would shorten it considerably. We witnessed a drunk Dad at one wedding, and he rambled on about his ex-wife, how she had to raise the daughter

[aja8888]

This was pretty much the outline to my speech on 4.21.18 at DD's wedding:

1. Thank everyone for coming, especially the out-of-towners.

2. Mention to remember those who could not be here (passed relatives, etc).

3. Say something funny about the groom, then follow up with a welcome into the family. Also welcome in his side of the family (mom, dad, etc).

4. Say something funny about the bride, then follow up with something sentimental.

5. Wish them a happy and long marriage.

6. Toast the couple!

[davebarnes]

I find that: first marriage and/or trial marriage are good conversation starters.
My wife and daughter go angry crazy while my son-in-law and I laugh a lot.
Wine is an excellent accelerant.

[Sarah in SC]

Don’t reference/mention any past boyfriends, even jokingly . That went over like a lead balloon at one I attended years ago.
Keep it short and heartfelt. Even though you are known as a jokester, it will be even more touching if you are sincere and serious for a change.
And congrats! It seemed like it was just yesterday you were photoshopping the bra off the floor of her pigsty of a bedroom!

[samcat]

My dad and I danced to Goodnight Irene from the fifties. He used to talk about singing it on a bus on the way home from high school football games. It was a surprise for him. As the song went on, he started singing and directing the crowd with his arm. Lots of people started singing along.

We went to a wedding where the wedding couple danced to Love Shack by the B-52s as their first dance. That was fun.

As for speeches, we got married in May years ago during the NBA playoffs. Our best man started his speech by commenting how we had managed to squeeze the wedding in during halftime of the Portland Trailblazers playoff game.

[folivier]

Down here we don't do toasts at the wedding or reception. Now the rehearsal dinner is different and usually a roast, mostly the groom.

[splitwdw]

Do as your daughter asked and have your wife approve your toast. She knows you best, so if she's asking you to censor yourself then it's probably a good call. It's her day.

[aja8888]

Quote:

Originally Posted by splitwdw Do as your daughter asked and have your wife approve your toast. She knows you best, so if she's asking you to censor yourself then it's probably a good call. It's her day.

My DD or DW did not see (or ask to see) my written brief speech before I gave it. I really didn't read it, but just had it as a crutch. I guess she (DW) was busy worrying about other wedding activities that could go wrong (which they didn't).

I'll bet if you asked the wedding guests today (10 days after the wedding) what I said in my speech, no one would remember!

[splitwdw]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja8888 My DD or DW did not see (or ask to see) my written brief speech before I gave it. I really didn't read it, but just had it as a crutch. I guess she (DW) was busy worrying about other wedding activities that could go wrong (which they didn't). I'll bet if you asked the wedding guests today (10 days after the wedding) what I said in my speech, no one would remember!

BUT his daughter did ask so don't you think that's telling. As far as your speech, maybe you can be trusted not to embarrass the bride.

[Bestwifeever]

DH actually thanked everyone for coming and then surprised DD and everyone but me with a sweet song instead of a toast (the band leader made him prove he could sing before agreeing to accompany him). T-Al could incorporate a little song if the MOB lets him.