Tips for Father-of-the-Bride Toast?

[TromboneAl]

In August I'll be giving a toast at my daughter's wedding. The pressure's on because I'm known among some as a funny guy.

Any tips or suggestions? Things that worked for you? Good speeches you heard?

This is the current start (Jenny=DD, Lena=DW):

It took me a long time to write this toast. Jenny told me that I would have to have it approved by Lena [true], so that meant I had to write two speeches!

Would people get that, or should I add, "The real speech and one to show to Lena"?

 

[donheff]

I will be doing the same in September. I will look forward to the responses.

 

[Taxman59]

I have DS's wedding next May. He is dreading any toast I may make at the rehearsal dinner!! I may use that line in my opening toast

 

[ERD50]

...
Would people get that, or should I add, "The real speech and one to show to Lena"?

Depends how much they've had to drink at that point! Maybe judge it at that time?

Hmmm, I'm no expert, but maybe delivery/timing is key? Is this subtle change any better?

It took me a long time to write this toast since Jenny insisted that I would have to have [-]it[/-] a toast approved by Lena [true]. [pause for effect, maybe nod to emphasize this]. .... So that meant I had to write two speeches!
​

For me, that gives a little time for it to sink in, and then the "two speeches" is more of a punch-line, rather than strung along as part of the intro.

edit/add: maybe be consistent with either "speech" or "toast" - using two different terms may be heard as two different things. Not confusing, but not direct either, so it opens up a chance to get lost.

Then you can push the joke further, give Jenny a glare, turn to the guests and say something like, "Now, do I give the one Lena approved, or the other one?" And wave around two sets of papers to emphasize with a visual.

Just my 2 cents.

-ERD50

 

[Bestwifeever]

Congratulations!

 

[pb4uski]

As I recall, at DD's wedding last summer the best man did the toast. I don't recall talking at all other than perhaps a welcoming remark, but I think the kids did that too.

The real dilemma was selecting a song for the father-bride dance.

 

[CaliKid]

Hopefully I have at least 10-15 years for this but I will still follow the thread as I am sure much good advice will be given.

I would try not to be too funny. One or two jokes and then loving daddy-daughter stuff. It's not a stand up routine.

 

[brett]

Be brief.

Just jot a few of your thoughts down in point form on the back of an envelope and move the speech along.

Don't read a complete prepared, written speech. Be yourself. Don't dote on 'old home week' or reflect on your own marriage. It is about them.

Spend 90 percent of your effort thinking about what you want to say, prioritize it based on time and theme, and then jot down each of those two or three reminder notes. Four, max five points otherwise it will become a yawner.

Then you will be good to go as it were.

Be brief. The guests did not come to the event to hear your speech.

 

[braumeister]

Be brief.

Just jot a few of your thoughts down in point form on the back of an envelope and move the speech along.

Don't read a complete prepared, written speech. Be yourself.

+1
It's not about you; it's about them.
Besides, nobody will remember it an hour later.

 

[Aerides]

Go for touching, loving, something your daughter will remember and her groom will feel welcomed by. Under two minutes. Skip the jokes.

 

[TromboneAl]

"Now, do I give the one Lena approved, or the other one?"

Yes, that's a good idea.

+1
It's not about you; it's about them.

Some good tips here:

https://youtu.be/bRf2yFGkIAI?t=1m2s

 

[Totoro]

Other tip stolen from wait but why, consider how prepared you want to be.

I tend to go with "set structure".

https://waitbutwhy.com/2016/03/doing-a-ted-talk-the-full-story.html

 

[COcheesehead]

My wife used to photograph weddings and I would help her so I heard a lot of them. Some good, some bad.
The bad ones were delivered drunk, were rambling, contained bad jokes or were about him rather than the couple.
Ones that seemed to be delivered from the heart and focused on lifelong stories of the bride that only a father would know or understand. They were intimate, everyone knew it and tears would flow. Those are the good ones.

 

[DatumPoint5]

Some examples of "Memorable Father of the Bride Wedding Toasts" can be found at this link. Customize to fit the wedding couple and/or your specific daughter.

My favorite is this short, but, sweet toast ""Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together to the end, well that is considered a huge success!!!!!!!!""

Father of the Bride Toast Examples

 

[aja8888]

I just gave one last Saturday:

This site has 420 actual speeches you can copy from. Worked for me.

https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-s..._3/andrew-tomlinson_2706.htm?selection=Random

 

[CaptTom]

I'd still include a laugh line or two. It breaks the ice and opens everyone up a little.

It can be a challenge to strike the right tone and still get a laugh, but it's worth it.

 

[Beldar]

When DW & I were married ages ago, there was no toasting, so I'm not sure what that's all about.

And we've never had children so I can't suggest anything family-wise.

But, weddings should be fun, and if there is anything serious to say to your daughter I suppose you could speak with her in private.

But keeping with your "funny guy" reputation , in your shoes I might suggest a little research into what, say, Don Rickles or Rodney Dangerfield might do in a similar situation. Nightclub one-liners and such. You could always end it on a serious note.


I know, I'm bad., but I've always had a jocular approach to life.


_B

 

[user5027]

Tell everyone you've forgiven the groom for not accepting your offer of an extension ladder to facilitate their elopement.

 

[kgtest]

I was at a wedding and the father-of-bride made mention that we are all here to celebrate and welcome everyone to set aside any animosity, dark or sad thoughts and ill will for tomorrow and really enjoy the celebration tonight.

After all getting all that family together in one room, can create all of the above.

I thought it was appropriate and sensible to say. I've seen fights break out at weddings.

 

[kgtest]

In August I'll be giving a toast at my daughter's wedding. The pressure's on because I'm known among some as a funny guy.

Any tips or suggestions? Things that worked for you? Good speeches you heard?

This is the current start (Jenny=DD, Lena=DW):

It took me a long time to write this toast. Jenny told me that I would have to have it approved by Lena [true], so that meant I had to write two speeches!

Would people get that, or should I add, "The real speech and one to show to Lena"?

To add to the effect, I'd discharge the "official" speech to the left in a flurry of paper, and sneakily pull out a crinkled up "unofficial" copy from your sock. That would add to the joke a bit!

 

[Mdlerth]

Leave the stand-up routine to the best man

From personal observations as well as Toastmasters Training, short is good.

Humor is always welcome, but the anecdotes/jokes should somehow relate to the specific individuals getting hitched. Select some mildly negative trait the bride/groom is known to exhibit (e.g., poor housekeeping, tardiness, pranksterism) and recast it into how surprising and wonderful it now is that she overcame that flaw and is embarking on her happy matrimonial journey.

Then smile lovingly and sit down.

 

[kgtest]

My FIL and bride-to-be started running away the other direction as they approached the alter. I don't recommend that, I was embarrassed as all hell, and this was after I almost chucked my cellphone in the ocean after receiving a prank call that my own father's car had broken down on the side of the road on the way to the wedding and he may be "a little late".

Then I immediately called my best man who said calm down, calm down, he was just joking with you. He said, you are going to want to bring an ice pack though...I says to him why? He says 'Cuz bro your jaw is gonna hit the floor when you see your bride!'. That cheered me up!

The combined two gestures was enough for my serious personality to show it.

 

[kgtest]

From personal observations as well as Toastmasters Training, short is good.

Humor is always welcome, but the anecdotes/jokes should somehow relate to the specific individuals getting hitched. Select some mildly negative trait the bride/groom is known to exhibit (e.g., poor housekeeping, tardiness, pranksterism) and recast it into how surprising and wonderful it now is that she overcame that flaw and is embarking on her happy matrimonial journey.

Then smile lovingly and sit down.

This is a good point, my BIL's father made a crack about how his son's buddies would use his home as a crash pad, leaving behind a trail of BO and uncleanliness, and how when his bride-to-be started coming around all of a sudden things were quite tidy, a few plants even showed up in his home, and that BO smell had slowly gone away.

 

[mystang52]

I'm pretty funny and tell good jokes....just ask me. But others often don't find my jokes funny. So, keep in mind that if you push the humor thing too far, the funny points may not be so funny to the audience. I vote along with the others and suggest keep it brief, maybe one joke or 2, and definitely something nice and loving. That's what I did at my daughter's and son's weddings.

 

[TromboneAl]

... delivered drunk, were rambling, contained bad jokes or were about him rather than the couple

Well, there goes that plan.