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Old 09-18-2013, 04:18 PM   #41
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Are You Experienced Jimi Hendrix HD - YouTube

Have you ever been experienced?

Kind of like Jimi's view.
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Old 09-18-2013, 08:17 PM   #42
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Others will undoubtedly have another POV, but that's easy IMO, it's a material purchase. The experiences that are most memorable are those where you're actively involved, not those where you are passive. Sure there's a continuum, but I can't think of anything much more passive than sitting (alone especially) on a couch watching TV (not a big fan of TV to begin with, most of it is just escapist drivel). Almost any outdoor activity beats the best TV "experience" IMO. YMMV
I'm not following you at all, sounds like apples-oranges to me?

Even if watching TV is passive, the TV can still be just the object that brings the experience to the person. So aren't they really buying that experience? I'm not comparing it to other, more active experiences.

And what does 'outdoor' have to do with it? What if someone buys a wood lathe, and enjoys the experience of turning and producing objects of art from wood? That's indoors, and it's active. Did they buy the thing, the lathe, or did they buy something that enables an experience?

So I'm still back to my original point - I don't think every 'object' purchased is necessarily materialistic, it can be a gateway to an experience. I don't see what all your 'YMMV' caveats are about. Regardless of whether I might think someone is watching drivel, or the Kahn Academy, seems irrelevant. If that is what they enjoy, the TV is the gateway to that experience.

I suppose if someone buys a big screen TV just to point it out to company and say "We have a big screen TV!", and they never watch TV, I would call that materialistic. And I suppose some people have done just that.

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Old 09-18-2013, 09:05 PM   #43
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I suppose if someone buys a big screen TV just to point it out to company and say "We have a big screen TV!", and they never watch TV, I would call that materialistic. And I suppose some people have done just that.

-ERD50
Yes, I think the latest reports are that 3 families in world history have done that.

To me this whole thing is kind of nutty. Bird watching is good, but watching a football game is not. Or maybe watching a football game in the stadium is good, but on your 50"TV where you can at least see the game and not freeze is not. What if I watch a football game, but at the same time row on my rower? Here I have not one but two expensive THINGS. Would I rather go to church service, where I participate in the service, than row and watch football? Sometimes, but often not. IF I can watch football with my sons or someone who shuts up and watches, I like it better than alone. But in the typical say Super Bowl Party crowd? I'd have to go home and watch on my dvr to know what the heck had happened.

Clearly, buying gear, especially expensive gear that you do not use is likely not good for a person's well being. We tend to feel guilty about this.

But how about buying nice furniture? Is that bad, because it is material, or good because you friends may be more inclined to visit you if your place is more or less what they experience at home?

How about beauty treatments? Is that an experience, or not? If it helps you get a date, and he takes to a movie, is that bad or good? World it have been better if he had taken you to a play?

I think we are getting too taken with these psychologists' ideas. Psychologists who are generally not particularly happy themselves. Maybe best to let people judge how they like to spend their time and money?

Ha
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Old 09-18-2013, 11:07 PM   #44
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Buying one TV that you watch and enjoy regularly sounds like an investment in experience. Buying a TV for a rarely used guest bedroom to impress your relatives at Thanksgiving could be viewed as materialistic.
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Old 09-19-2013, 06:35 AM   #45
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Reading this thread has been an experience for me
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Old 09-19-2013, 07:47 AM   #46
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I remember when the study first came out, or one like it. I think the research, for what it's worth, did show people were happier spending money on an experience but only if the experience turned out good. If anything went wrong (maybe like getting seasick one day of a cruise), it no longer made them happy.

Once we had all the stuff we needed, we too felt experiences would be better . But then we dropped a bucket of money on a new kitchen. Which means we enjoy using it more than the falling apart old kitchen. Because it has pretty stuff in it. That makes us use it more.
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Old 09-19-2013, 07:58 AM   #47
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If I were to list the most memorable experiences in my life (I actually keep a bucket list), hours spent watching TV don't make the list, and probably never will. If you feel differently, that's dandy.
To paraphrase Gallagher, "I watch sports on TV for exercise. I'm really tired after a good game, aren't you?"
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Old 09-19-2013, 08:14 AM   #48
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I don't agree with this. Typically, memory works over time to minimize or exclude relatively minor negative experiences. For example, on our long adventure travel, the flights are often annoying, long, uncomfortable and just not that pleasant. But when I think back about this trip or that trip, I don't immediately recall or weight those things....I remember the amazing person we met, or the stunning scenery, or the food.

Highly traumatic/negative experiences are a different story. There seems to be a threshold above which the mind can't or won't let go of a traumatic event. Instead of gradually weakening the memory, it is constantly replayed and actually can strengthen in intensity. This threshold is highly individualistic and above it is the start of PTSD.

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I remember when the study first came out, or one like it. I think the research, for what it's worth, did show people were happier spending money on an experience but only if the experience turned out good. If anything went wrong (maybe like getting seasick one day of a cruise), it no longer made them happy.
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Old 09-19-2013, 08:20 AM   #49
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I think some people find happiness arguing about discussing what makes other people happy.
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Old 09-19-2013, 11:16 AM   #50
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I think we are getting too taken with these psychologists' ideas. Psychologists who are generally not particularly happy themselves. Maybe best to let people judge how they like to spend their time and money?

Ha
I thought about this some more and I think you are right. I am still blown away by the idea of having to purchase experiences to be happy. Many purchases, especially those that make money or cut expenses, lead to financial independence, which is the ultimate in free time, and time to have more experience besides sitting in an office building all day.
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Old 09-19-2013, 01:04 PM   #51
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I think I will purchase some experience with a psychologist and learn why I can't trust my own ideas about what makes me happy.
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Old 09-19-2013, 04:03 PM   #52
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To me this whole thing is kind of nutty. Bird watching is good, but watching a football game is not. Or maybe watching a football game in the stadium is good, but on your 50"TV where you can at least see the game and not freeze is not. What if I watch a football game, but at the same time row on my rower? Here I have not one but two expensive THINGS. Would I rather go to church service, where I participate in the service, than row and watch football? Sometimes, but often not.
Good point.

Generally, when someone on this forum says that they prefer buying experiences to things, I silently translate that to a defensive justification for travel - - a justification that is entirely unneeded as far as I am concerned. I don't like travel but if somebody loves to travel, more power to him or her! My goodness, wouldn't it be a boring world if we were all identical.

I happen to get bored watching other people do things, usually. American Idol doesn't count; I love that show! But, that is the exception, not the rule, for me.

I do love playing video games because I am a participant - - I am part of the action, I decide what to do next in the game, and my actions can determine the outcome of the game. While it may not be any more physically active than watching TV, still I do not feel so much like a somnolent lump on a log as when just passively watching TV for some reason.

BTW, please don't expect me to make any points or form any erudite conclusions here - - I am just musing out loud so feel free to skip this post entirely. Anyway, continuing on, when I watch a TV documentary that fascinates me I am looking up various aspects of the subject online while watching, so in a sense I am a participant there, too, at least to a small extent.

Either way. The TV that I bought this year cost about 3x as much as a gaming console, but then again I bought 3 gaming consoles this year and last. Whether video gaming or watching TV, something must be bought. In both cases one is inside and not physically active. I do think that I participate much more in video games than when watching TV, though, and I do prefer video gaming.
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Old 09-20-2013, 06:16 AM   #53
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Either way. The TV that I bought this year cost about 3x as much as a gaming console, but then again I bought 3 gaming consoles this year and last. Whether video gaming or watching TV, something must be bought. In both cases one is inside and not physically active. I do think that I participate much more in video games than when watching TV, though, and I do prefer video gaming.
I think we need a thread on favorite video games. As for me, I would have thought I would love video games, but when I play a video game against anyone under 50, its game over in about 1 minute.
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Old 09-20-2013, 09:31 PM   #54
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So "Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll" was all that was ever needed?

OK, older folks may remember the phrase as "Wine, Women, and Song"
Shakespeare and his homies died a long time ago!
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Old 09-22-2013, 08:00 PM   #55
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Old 09-22-2013, 09:12 PM   #56
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This is one thing that my DW has definitely taught me over the years. Being cheap/frugal by nature I tended to miss out on great experiences by being cheap (i've happily slept in or under the car on trips on my own and lived on hot dogs and cheap beer) She taught me that its okay to spend when you're traveling and save when you're at home. The phrase we use is: are you going to miss that $100 when you get home or are you going to talk about that amazing meal, cool hotel or wicked concert for the rest of your life ?
+1 While we tend to be frugal at home we splurge more when we are on vacation - after all, we are on vacation!
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To buy happiness, purchase an experience
Old 08-10-2014, 07:38 PM   #57
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To buy happiness, purchase an experience

How much you use or don't use it makes no difference in the definition of materialistic. Its how much you value the purchase compared to more important things in life. If you buy anything and feel a rush or major satisfaction that overshadows your family or friends or faith, it is being materialistic. Frequency of use is misunderstanding the problem.
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Old 08-11-2014, 06:55 AM   #58
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Typically, memory works over time to minimize or exclude relatively minor negative experiences. For example, on our long adventure travel, the flights are often annoying, long, uncomfortable and just not that pleasant. But when I think back about this trip or that trip, I don't immediately recall or weight those things....I remember the amazing person we met, or the stunning scenery, or the food.
I agree. DH and I have always had something go wrong on our trips (sometimes multiple things). We just came back from a fantastic trip from Alaska where we spent our only day in a city port (the rest we anchored in the middle of nowhere) seeking help for an attack of gout DH had, and getting his prescription. What we remember is how many good people helped us, and seeing whales outside the window in our stateroom a few nights later. Or, from a great quote I just found: “Most travel is best of all in the anticipation or the remembering; the reality has more to do with losing your luggage.”

While we're definitely in the "experience" camp, it boggles my mind to see what excursions some people go for on cruises. Here's a list, which I copied from a brochure in Juneau:

  • "Flightseeing" by helicopter, plus "sled dog experience"- $489
  • Fishing- $160 + $20 for license
  • Two hours of flightseeing by amphibious plane- $229
  • Ziplining $175
  • Taku Glacier Lodge and feast (Wild Alaska King Salmon), including flight- $280
  • Walking tour- $45. (Mine was free. :-) )
From what I read on a cruise enthusiast site, some people go for an excursion like this at every port. Now multiply it by 4 or 5 for family groups., and add tips!

DH and I are pretty selective when it comes to organized excursions such as this. We've taken some memorable ones (kayaking around Dubrovnik, private guides in St. Petersburg, Russia, a bus tour up to Corcovado in Rio), but we prefer to knock around on our own and take public transportation where possible.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:47 AM   #59
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This thread reminds me of a lyric from the "Piano Man" from Billy Joel...

There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet
And I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes"
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:54 AM   #60
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One more thought.

When growing up, my parents focused more on buying us (4 kids) experiences rather than the latest stuff. When we were old enough to travel (or close enough), we all piled into a motor home and traveled across the U.S., pretty much visiting all of the lower 48 states. You name it, we saw it. Yes, the time and distances between places were <boring> (at least from a kid's perspective), but card games, board games, the occasional movie (we had a TV rigged up), and other distractions made the time and distance pass by quickly.

I can't help but think what it would be like to do that with my two kids these days. Back then, my dad was the sole breadwinner, with my mother a SAHM. Unfortunately, DW and I have less time to "waste" between experiences (two high-pressure/high-paying careers). Flying is easier, and we can afford it, but you often miss many interesting places going from airport to airport.

We're taking our first driving vacation this coming week. A few hours north and west, along with a couple of hotel night stays. Lots to see in the area, but nothing that would rate anywhere near an "E" ticket ride at Disney. (Let's see how many people remember that!)
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