Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Too Much Conversation
Old 11-28-2010, 11:36 AM   #1
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
TromboneAl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,201
Too Much Conversation

Lena's Swedish cousin and his Singaporean wife were here for the Thanksgiving weekend. He writes computer software for trading billions in currency -- software that has to make buying decisions in a limited number of microseconds. He speaks English better than 99% of Americans although he has a strong accent and still pronounces J like Y ("Yust Yenerate more cash.").


We had a great time, and enjoyed them both, but probably spent about 30 hours just talking. Talking during meals, talking after dinner, talking on hikes, talking in the car.

It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say. I'll bet there were times when everyone wanted to do something else, but there was no way to bring that up.

In the future, I've got to find a way to say "OK, now let's everyone read a book or watch a movie or surf the Internet for a change."
__________________

__________________
Al
TromboneAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-28-2010, 11:49 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,633
"That's really interesting. I think I'll go to the computer now and do some research on that."
__________________

__________________
Pas de lieu Rhône que nous.
braumeister is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 12:04 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,627
You need more guests. That way, all you have to do is excuse yourself while the conversation continues. Just don't be the last person to excuse yourself.

What do they think of having their photo posted on the web?
__________________
LOL! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 12:12 PM   #4
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say. I'll bet there were times when everyone wanted to do something else, but there was no way to bring that up.

In the future, I've got to find a way to say "OK, now let's everyone read a book or watch a movie or surf the Internet for a change."
"Screw you guys, I'm going home."
__________________
old.snake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 01:04 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 18,299
If guests are going to be there for days, and you think this might become a 'trap', you just have to schedule some optional 'down time' in there. Just say 'hey, maybe you guys would like to visit nearby x,y,z park, museum, etc - we have some shopping to do, or some boring tasks around the house, or whatever, so it'll give you a chance to get out and see the area'.

-ERD50
__________________
ERD50 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 01:25 PM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
veremchuka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: irradiated - too close to the nuclear furnace
Posts: 1,294
i hear ya! after just a few hours being around people all the talking just wears me out. i literally have to go home to unwind and relax. needless to say i'm not gregarious!
__________________
veremchuka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 01:27 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Laurel, MD
Posts: 2,954
Not a problem if you invite the right people over to "share" the conversation next time.....
Some People Talk Too Much
__________________
...with no reasonable expectation for ER, I'm just here auditing the AP class.Retired 8/1/15.
jazz4cash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 03:17 PM   #8
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,620
Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say. I'll bet there were times when everyone wanted to do something else, but there was no way to bring that up.
"So, who wants to help me clean up the kitchen?"
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 06:43 PM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
TromboneAl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords View Post
"So, who wants to help me clean up the kitchen?"
Funny you mention that. I did the dinner cleanup on Thursday and Friday, and it was a good break. The kitchen never looked so clean.
__________________
Al
TromboneAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 07:57 PM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
GregLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Waimanalo, HI
Posts: 1,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
He speaks English better than 99% of Americans although he has a strong accent and still pronounces J like Y ...
Who are the 1% of Americans that speak English as well as he? The ones who can say J right? Lots can do that -- practically all Americans, actually.
__________________
Greg (retired in 2010 at age 68, state pension)
GregLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 08:20 PM   #11
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,949
Quote:
Originally Posted by GregLee View Post
Who are the 1% of Americans that speak English as well as he? The ones who can say J right? Lots can do that -- practically all Americans, actually.
Some people can pronounce the letter J, but do not speak English very well (as in, grammatical, correct English).
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 08:24 PM   #12
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,949
Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say.
I feel that way at most parties. It's hard to discuss anything one-on-one, because there are too many people. So, a lot of the talk tends to be pretty boring, IMO.

At times like that, it would be nice to get away from everyone and go for a walk.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 09:30 PM   #13
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say
Why did you have to devote any effort to thinking of something to say. Just sit quietly and listen for a few minutes. Likely there is going to be a break in the talk. If they are really that talkative, just announce "I am going to (fill in the blank ... read the newspaper, make a phone call, change the oil, paint the house. . . ). Offer them something else. Shouldn't be too hard, newspaper, snack, TV, computer
__________________
TomG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 11:54 PM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
jJst serve more booze, more often, in larger glasses.
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2010, 07:01 AM   #15
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Assuming he's living in Sweden, ask him how he likes the sunlight at this time of year, at your place ...

Note: I spent a lot of winter (and summer) month's in southern Sweden during my wo*king years. It certainly was depressing.

The flip side was when the gulls would wake me up at 3 AM in the summer months, where daylight was to the other extreme....
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2010, 07:17 AM   #16
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Purron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,584
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERD50 View Post
If guests are going to be there for days, and you think this might become a 'trap', you just have to schedule some optional 'down time' in there. Just say 'hey, maybe you guys would like to visit nearby x,y,z park, museum, etc - we have some shopping to do, or some boring tasks around the house, or whatever, so it'll give you a chance to get out and see the area'.

-ERD50
Good idea. With a visit lasting a few days or more, it's good for everyone to have some down time. It's better if the tasks are personal in nature, otheriwise they might want to tag along on a general shopping trip or offer to help with the household tasks.

"We need to go to the bank to take care of some things. Would you like to hang out here while we're gone? If you're in the mood to go out, maybe you'd like to check out the park/museum, etc. while we're getting our banking done."
__________________
I purr therefore I am.
Purron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2010, 09:43 AM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,533
Sounds like you need rules of engagement for social engagements.

Maybe you should have shown them the zen meditation wood shed where you chop wood in absolute silence for a couple hours.
__________________
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (5, 11, and 12).
FUEGO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2010, 10:32 AM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
TromboneAl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,201
Quote:
Why did you have to devote any effort to thinking of something to say?
Because I find awkward pauses, well, awkward.

__________________
Al
TromboneAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2010, 10:54 AM   #19
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
calmloki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Independence
Posts: 5,460
One of FIL's best: "Honey, let's go to bed and get some sleep so these nice people can go home".
__________________
calmloki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2010, 01:00 PM   #20
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
Because I find awkward pauses, well, awkward
It sounds like you did the perfect job of avoiding any pauses. Whether they are awkward or not is entirely based on how you interpret them. The balance I like has more quiet than noise and am perfectly comfortable with the no-talking parts. If that doesn't describe you, you would be seeking out ways to have this much conversation the other 360 days
__________________

__________________
TomG is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sobering Conversation about my Kid's Future........... FinanceDude Other topics 33 12-04-2006 11:32 AM
Interesting Client Conversation............. FinanceDude Other topics 7 10-12-2006 11:16 AM
A Most Depressing Conversation JWV Other topics 36 05-07-2006 10:03 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:59 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.