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Old 02-27-2012, 04:09 PM   #41
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That's a great story Nuiloa!

I will be retiring in less than 2 years, and I feel that I will be given a second chance at life. I don't think many people get that chance, (except many of us on these forums that plan ahead). Looking back, some things I would have done different but I made the best decisions at that time. Life only gets better.
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:43 PM   #42
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3. I had the courage to express my feelings.
.[/QUOTE]


I have not had a problem with this one for many years. However, my DW has had problems with me for not refraining from expressing my feelings.
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:01 PM   #43
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Looking back, some things I would have done different but I made the best decisions at that time. Life only gets better.
+1.
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:07 PM   #44
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All thanks to a boss who wouldn't let me settle for "what if"... I hope the angels smile on her
What wisdom that boss showed. A touching remembrance.
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:45 PM   #45
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Talk about regret of working too hard, I was guilty of that, but am not anymore.

I never neglected my children when they were growing up, but I could have spent more time with them. My wife also had to work long hours as a manager at her megacorp, and with my more flexible hours, I was usually the one who left work in the middle of the day to go see a school play, or some school activities. My wife eventually walked off her job, when she could no longer stand the pressure. Same as my long hours with my business ventures, all that hard work she put in at her megacorp was for naught.

Still, my children turned out OK, and we still have money to ER. Yes, financially, things could have been better, but since when is that not true? And had the business venture been successful, I would still be committed, and would not be sitting home planning my RV summer trip now.

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...the happier ones are like you and my DH, who thinks regrets are a waste of time (which is true, I'm sure)...
Actually, I am not the always happy and optimistic type. If anything, I tend to be pessimistic, and worry a lot. But it is because of the worries that I might regret something that make me act cautiously. And so far, I have not done any bad deed to anyone that should cause me to regret anything.

It is all about how I treat other people, or how I react to others. Mistakes involving money or career decisions, I have made plenty, but none has bankrupted me, so what is there to regret about?

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...life is exciting, I've done lots of weird and wonderful things, travel a lot, and now I've bought an RV and am planning the next phase of my gypsy lifestyle.

All thanks to a boss who wouldn't let me settle for "what if"... I hope the angels smile on her
What a great boss! And cheers to your upcoming RV phase of life!
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Old 02-27-2012, 06:12 PM   #46
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I can't even relate to that list--except for the wish that they had stayed in touch with old friends. I have time now and wish to heck I knew where some of the wonderful people I knew in my past were now.
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Old 02-27-2012, 06:16 PM   #47
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Have you tried Intelius dot com?

I had a friend since middle school, that I lost contact with about 15 years ago. Looked him up, and found several with his name. However, by narrowing down to his state of residence and his wife's name, I got him!
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Old 02-27-2012, 07:17 PM   #48
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When I was taking care of my mother when she was dying I looked up all the old friends I could. Found all the guys but didn't find hardly any of the gals. Women change their names. Makes it really hard to dig them up with Intelius or Zabasearch.
I did dig up a couple, tho, as we reunited which was so fun! I got to see one even a few times, and we email every so often still--very neat! She was one of my two best friends in Jr. Hi and still so much the same person. Isn't it a blast to see an old friend after so many years and see how they changed or not changed?

I like Zabasearch.com alot more. Try it yourself and you will see why.
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Old 02-27-2012, 07:36 PM   #49
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I remember trying both. Just now, try them again, and the info that Zabasearch now presents does not look like it used to!

I was not thinking about women changing their name when remarried. That made it nearly impossible.
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Old 02-27-2012, 07:36 PM   #50
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My copy and paste in bold italics and comments in plain font...

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I did exactly what I wanted despite the interference of other humans.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I am very proud of my efforts and the results.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Never an issue once I turned 14 and had to grow up real fast when my parents divorced. I tell it like it is. Not always popular for that, but oh well.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
This became an issue when my husband passed over 7 years ago. I found that despite my best efforts to remain social and carry on, my "couples" friends started distancing themselves. Their loss.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Still w*rking on this one...I find myself surrounded by chronic negativity in this my local community. I have learned to filter it out. Overall I am a happy person.

ALL FIXED!
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Old 02-27-2012, 07:46 PM   #51
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5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Still w*rking on this one...I find myself surrounded by chronic negativity in this community. I have learned to filter it out. Overall I am a happy person.
I'd bet you are a happy person.

But, but, but by "this community" you meant this forum?
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Old 02-27-2012, 08:45 PM   #52
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I'd bet you are a happy person.

But, but, but by "this community" you meant this forum?
OMG NOOO...sorry for the faux pas.

I meant the local community where I live in East Nowhere.

I have gone through so much with my Mom's and husband's sudden passing, w*rk nonsense, the mistake of ex-dh2b and his kids' drama...I absolutely refuse to be glum.

Watch me shine
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:30 PM   #53
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Merely reading this forum with all the threads on the downfall of SS, the growing costs of medical care, need for LTC, etc, is enough to set me off on a worry-fest. Sometimes it's hard to find the right balance.
We call that the "doom&gloom" approach.

You need to go for "hope&cheer" along with PollyAnna.

Either way the result is about the same, but one path is a lot happier than the other.
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:33 AM   #54
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I grew up in a mid-sized town that I hated - if you weren't into winter sports or hunting, you got to sit and watch TV or go bowling. I just wanted out of there - that was pretty much the extent of my dreams.

I enrolled in a pre-med program at a very well known university, but it didn't take long before I figured out that I wasn't cut out to be a doctor. I didn't know what else to do, but I knew I wanted something. I went back home, met a guy and was well on the road to the whole marriage, family, clerical job thing but I was very unhappy. Nothing felt right.

Then I went to Club Med in Guadeloupe for 2 weeks. It felt like home. Better still - they offered me a job. When I got home, though, reality set in: I'd be giving up my fiance, my new car, my job (where I'd just been promoted) and, in short, my security. I was going to give up the return ticket when my boss told me that if I didn't take the job, she was going to fire me!!! She said that there was nothing worse that getting to the age of 40 and wondering "what if". And if I gave up the opportunity, then that made me stupid and she didn't want stupid people working for her!

So I quit the job, sold the car and told my fiance that I was going to Guadeloupe. Eventually I transferred to Mexico (where I got really sick). After that, I spent some time in Haiti and Tahiti. I travelled all over the Caribbean and loved every minute of it. Eventually, I gave up wandering and put roots down in Vancouver - life is exciting, I've done lots of weird and wonderful things, travel a lot, and now I've bought an RV and am planning the next phase of my gypsy lifestyle.

All thanks to a boss who wouldn't let me settle for "what if"... I hope the angels smile on her
Far out, Nuiloa! You rock!
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:47 AM   #55
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Such a great story, Nuiloa. Do you think you really would have not taken the job at Club Med if your boss hadn't given you that push?
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:45 AM   #56
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She said that there was nothing worse that getting to the age of 40 and wondering "what if".
What an inspiring story! It would make a great magazine article on "how to follow your dreams".
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:49 AM   #57
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You need to go for "hope&cheer" along with PollyAnna .
Excellent advice! It's tough but I'm working on it.
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Old 02-28-2012, 11:41 AM   #58
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Excellent advice! It's tough but I'm working on it.
No one can make you unhappy, only you can do that. It took me almost 50 years to really figure it out, but it makes a world of difference when you do.
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Old 02-28-2012, 12:15 PM   #59
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Have you tried Intelius dot com?

I had a friend since middle school, that I lost contact with about 15 years ago. Looked him up, and found several with his name. However, by narrowing down to his state of residence and his wife's name, I got him!
Whoah! I put in Koolau and found myself in both my recent states of residence. Got the spouse, age, everything. Someone knows a lot about us. YMMV
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Old 02-28-2012, 12:23 PM   #60
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Got the spouse, age, everything. Someone knows a lot about us. YMMV
It's all part of public records. Nothing strange about some data mining of each state's vital records.
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