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Old 04-06-2009, 09:09 PM   #21
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Just because somebody in Florida has on there turn signal do not expect them to turn . It might have been on since Indiana .
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:26 PM   #22
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Build-yer-own stick deodorant. If you are going to saw your paper towels in half why not save money on anti-stinkum:

Little House in the Suburbs: Quick Stick Deodorant
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:09 PM   #23
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Bondo is easier to work with than wood filler. Takes paint just fine, too, so is great for nicks and dings in painted trim.
Just an caveat on this one. I suspect it's fine for minor and indoor wood filling, but we had a carpenter that used it on outdoor work and it peeled paint and fell apart. Multiple times. Finally had to have the work redone completely by somebody else.
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:04 PM   #24
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If you are bored and feel like you need to get up and DO SOMETHING, take at least 5 minutes to talk yourself out of it.
Then do it later. Maybe. If the sun is shining. Or perhaps if it's Wednesday.
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Old 04-09-2009, 09:30 PM   #25
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1. If you're choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat - use the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember - everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.



From Fully Sick: Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
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Old 04-09-2009, 09:57 PM   #26
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Don't laugh while eating popcorn.....
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Old 04-10-2009, 01:56 AM   #27
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When reheating a hard boiled egg in the microwave. Make sure you don't heat it too long.
Appoint someone to make a chart of where the Easter eggs are hidden. Trust me, you don't want to find one in the broiler six months later.
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Old 04-10-2009, 10:18 PM   #28
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Appoint someone to make a chart of where the Easter eggs are hidden. Trust me, you don't want to find one in the broiler six months later.
The previous owners of our house used to hide plastic Easter-egg shells in the yard, each with a quarter in them.

We bought the house in August 2000. We found two eggs last week.
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Old 04-11-2009, 12:40 AM   #29
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The previous owners of our house used to hide plastic Easter-egg shells in the yard, each with a quarter in them.

We bought the house in August 2000. We found two eggs last week.
You've been holding two nest eggs in the equivalent of a mattress for eight years! Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:57 AM   #30
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Make sure the toilet seat is down when searching for items in the cabinet above....
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Old 04-28-2009, 12:13 PM   #31
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Never try to garden without your bug repellent sprayed straw hat during blackfly season.
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:15 PM   #32
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After chopping poblano peppers, never rub a body part...
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:34 PM   #33
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After chopping poblano peppers, never rub a body part...
But do shake hands with a pesky neighbor.

Nice revival - this is a fun thread.
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Old 06-02-2009, 07:36 PM   #34
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If the wife rubs a particular body part with poblano peppers, grab the Viagra quickly.
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:11 PM   #35
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Soak wilted lettuces for 15 minutes in warm water, drain and chill in fridge. That will crip it up very nicely. Worked great on a head of 9 day old romaine which was not bagged and pretty sad last night.
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:25 PM   #36
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If you are in Florida during Happy Hour and the real old seniors are going for the two for one martinis let them leave the parking lot at least a half hour before you get on the road .
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:26 PM   #37
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Never do a chore that you can quilt your SO into doing .
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:28 PM   #38
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After chopping poblano peppers, never rub a body part...


Though in carefully planned and applied strategiess, it can work...
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:28 PM   #39
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When cooking dinner never lay anything out in the hope that someone will say "Let's eat out " . ( Then you can hit the two for one martinis).
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Old 06-02-2009, 09:16 PM   #40
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Though in carefully planned and applied strategiess, it can work...
Do tell doc....we're here to learn....
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