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Old 06-09-2009, 11:45 AM   #81
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If you go fishing and land a live missile don't keep it in your boat for ten days.

Florida fisherman hooks live missile in Gulf waters - USATODAY.com
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Old 06-09-2009, 12:42 PM   #82
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If you go fishing and land a live missile don't keep it in your boat for ten days.

Florida fisherman hooks live missile in Gulf waters - USATODAY.com
Darwin award nominee...
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Old 06-18-2009, 09:43 PM   #83
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Never ask a woman when her baby is due.
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Old 06-18-2009, 09:44 PM   #84
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Never ask a woman when her baby is due.

Reminds me of that commercial I seen recently.
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Old 06-18-2009, 09:48 PM   #85
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Reminds me of that commercial I seen recently.
I haven't seen the commercial, but I asked a woman that very question several years ago. She wasn't pregnant. There wasn't a hole big enough for me to crawl into.
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Old 06-19-2009, 02:27 PM   #86
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Dave Barry says: Never ask a woman whether she's pregnant unless you actually see the baby coming out.
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Old 06-20-2009, 06:56 PM   #87
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Never ask a woman when her baby is due.
In my line of work I have to do that sometimes.

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Old 06-20-2009, 07:51 PM   #88
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In my line of work I have to do that sometimes.

Ohhh...I guess you do. Bless your heart....
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Old 07-09-2009, 06:38 PM   #89
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Brush your kitty before you give it a kiss. Pahhhhtueeee......
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Old 07-17-2009, 06:03 PM   #90
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Remember to remove headset before leaving computer and going to kitchen.
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:21 PM   #91
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Our cherry tomato plants are in full gear, plus a lot of melons and fruit from the local stands. This leads to today's hint, what to do about a fruit fly infestation.

Went online to do some research, and tried a few options. The winner for me is - put some overripe fruit (I've used cantalope and raspberries so far) plus some wine in a bowl. Cover very tightly with shrink wrap (no wrinkles). Poke some small holes in the wrap (tips of a fork seem about right). The flies go in, can't get out (unless you make the holes too big). It has worked like a champ, with the added benefit of the fruit flies dying with a smile on their little red eyed faces.

Two bowls into the experiment and I've caught at least 50 flies. I don't mind one or two flying around, but the swarms are just not acceptable.
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:32 PM   #92
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plus some wine in a bowl
Was that red or white?
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:36 PM   #93
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Our cherry tomato plants are in full gear, plus a lot of melons and fruit from the local stands. This leads to today's hint, what to do about a fruit fly infestation.

Went online to do some research, and tried a few options. The winner for me is - put some overripe fruit (I've used cantalope and raspberries so far) plus some wine in a bowl. Cover very tightly with shrink wrap (no wrinkles). Poke some small holes in the wrap (tips of a fork seem about right). The flies go in, can't get out (unless you make the holes too big). It has worked like a champ, with the added benefit of the fruit flies dying with a smile on their little red eyed faces.

Two bowls into the experiment and I've caught at least 50 flies. I don't mind one or two flying around, but the swarms are just not acceptable.
Fruit flies are attracted to fermenting beer/wort. According to the homebrewers, apple cider vinegar and a little soap will work as well:


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I pour the apple cider vinegar and citrus dish soap into a mason jar and then put a piece of plastic wrap over the top. Tighten down the ring and poke some holes in the plastic. If they don't get stuck by the soap, than they still can't get back out.
-ERD50
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Old 07-22-2009, 11:13 PM   #94
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Remember when cooking with really hot peppers, like some nice orange colored Habaneros, to wash one's hands before touching other parts of your body.



Whatever you do, make sure you wash your hands before using the restroom.

Don't ask, just trust that I know what I'm talking about.

Does anybody want a good recipe for Oyster Nachos with Habanero Sauce?
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:06 AM   #95
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If you own a car dealership, don't let a salesperson/escapee from the Russian mob wearing a nose-ring, bright blue eyeshadow, stilleto'd white boots, multicolored hair, see-through shirt, and skin-tight pants run out the door to snag any white-bread middle-aged customers wearing Dockers and topsiders who happen by. Save her for Tony Soprano.
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:13 AM   #96
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What an interesting collection of life experience on this board

ta,
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Old 07-24-2009, 11:15 AM   #97
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If you own a car dealership, don't let a salesperson/escapee from the Russian mob wearing a nose-ring, bright blue eyeshadow, stilleto'd white boots, multicolored hair, see-through shirt, and skin-tight pants run out the door ...
Where does this gal work? I need to meet her.

Ha
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Old 07-26-2009, 08:27 AM   #98
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Remember when cooking with really hot peppers, like some nice orange colored Habaneros, to wash one's hands before touching other parts of your body.
Another option: You can wear those really old school yellow gloves made for cleaning, dish washing, etc. (I have had painful experiences even after washing my hands [what I thought was] thoroughly.)

Warning for couples: The first time I walked into the kitchen and observed by girlfriend cooking us dinner while wearing those, I did tell her that she would have to taste everything before I ate any. I had no idea what she was doing and assumed she was planning my demise since I am not a very nice person at times. (Her homemade salsa with Serrano peppers is delicious and well worth the fright.)
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Old 02-13-2010, 01:40 PM   #99
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I received the following in an email today, so I haven't tried any of the suggestions yet, but they look interesting.

Hey...at least it's not about dryer sheets....

COFFEE FILTERS


1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.

2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

3. Protect China by separating your good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.

4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.

5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.

6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.

7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.

8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.

9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.

10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.

11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.

12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters..

13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them. It soaks out all the grease.

14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."

15. As a sewing backing. Use a filter as an easy-to-tear backing for embroidering or appliquéing soft fabrics.

16. Put baking soda into a coffee filter and insert into shoes or a closet to absorb or prevent odors.

17. Use them to strain soup stock and to tie fresh herbs in to put in soups and stews.

18. Use a coffee filter to prevent spilling when you add fluids to your car.

19. Use them as a spoon rest while cooking and clean up small counter spills.

20. Can use to hold dry ingredients when baking or when cutting a piece of fruit or veggies.. Saves on having extra bowls to wash.

21. Use them to wrap Christmas ornaments for storage.

22. Use them to remove fingernail polish when out of cotton balls.

23. Use them to sprout seeds.. Simply dampen the coffee filter, place seeds inside, fold it and place it into a plastic baggie until they sprout.

24. Use coffee filters as blotting paper for pressed flowers. Place the flowers between two coffee filters and put the coffee filters in phone book..

25. Use as a disposable "snack bowl" for popcorn, chips, etc.
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:22 PM   #100
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Tried out a tip I learned online today to get out yellow underarm stains - dishwasher detergent - rub it in, let it sit a while. It worked! Note this shirt had been rubbed and scrubbed multiple times prior to trying this. Also note it was a white shirt - not sure if it would be safe to use on colors.

Supposedly it is the enzymes in the detergent that work to get out the proteins that cause the stain.
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