Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Two regrets,,,
Old 03-03-2008, 01:42 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
LeatherneckPA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Williamsport
Posts: 489
Two regrets,,,

My father passed away on February 17, 2008. Dad was 77 years old and had been married to Mom for 50 years. He raised four sons, none with criminal records, and all four were US Marines. The only grandchild he really had anything to do with is a veteran of the US Air Force.

Dad, himself, was a veteran of WWII. He enlisted in 1945 using a phony birth certificate forged by his younger brother who later became a graphic artist and draftsman. He never went to war because it ended just before he graduated from Fort Dix.

My only regrets are that I did not have enough time with him, because they moved to FL and that he never got to see any of his sons retire.
__________________

__________________
"Iron" Mike - Semper Fi
Jack of all trades; Master of none.
LeatherneckPA is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 03-03-2008, 01:59 PM   #2
Recycles dryer sheets
Twinkle Toes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 202
I'm sorry for your loss.
__________________

__________________
Twinkle Toes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 02:03 PM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JPatrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,494
Very sorry for your loss Leatherneck.
Your Dad, along with help from your Mom I'm sure, put together quite a remarkable family and marriage.
When I lost my Mom, not too many years ago, and DW when she lost hers, we both felt as you do. We should have spent more time together. Now that a few years have passed we realize that all parties did their best given all the circumstances. We now concentrate on the good times and dismiss the regrets.


And if you don't mind a little side note---
I've known many Marines in my day, but never have I seen four together with no criminal records.
__________________
JPatrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 02:56 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
My condoleances to pass along. I know what it is like to lose a parent............you did your best over the years, remember that..........Dads of that generation didn't dote on their sons, they just had unspoken "expectations".........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 03:00 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,117
My sincere condolences for your loss.

As JPatrick said, you should not dwell on what wasn't, but instead focus on what was. My dad died 10 years ago and I give no thought whatsoever to regrets, only to the fond memories I have of him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeatherneckPA View Post
He raised four sons, none with criminal records, and all four were US Marines. The only grandchild he really had anything to do with is a veteran of the US Air Force.
I salute your dad's ability to overcome adversity and concentrate on the positive.

Aim High,
REW
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 03:04 PM   #6
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeatherneckPA View Post
My father passed away on February 17, 2008. Dad was 77 years old and had been married to Mom for 50 years. He raised four sons, none with criminal records, and all four were US Marines. The only grandchild he really had anything to do with is a veteran of the US Air Force.

Dad, himself, was a veteran of WWII. He enlisted in 1945 using a phony birth certificate forged by his younger brother who later became a graphic artist and draftsman. He never went to war because it ended just before he graduated from Fort Dix.

My only regrets are that I did not have enough time with him, because they moved to FL and that he never got to see any of his sons retire.
My deepest condolences. Losing a parent is never easy, and I wish the best for you and your family.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 03:12 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
lazygood4nothinbum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,895
condolence from me too leatherneck. though i had just the opposite: lots of time with mom but if she ever knew i wasn't working she'd've risen from the grave to find me a job. so if you wouldn't mind, please have your dad talk to my mom about the benefits of early retirement. thank you.
__________________
"off with their heads"~~dr. joseph-ignace guillotin

"life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages."~~mark twain - letter to edward kimmitt 1901
lazygood4nothinbum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 03:17 PM   #8
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,283
Sorry to hear about your loss..

I lost a BIL in Nov.... not as close, but still a loss... so I understand...

Take care.. and make sure your mother goes to a grief class soon... it has helped my sister a lot.
__________________
Texas Proud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 03:44 PM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,015
Sorry to hear of your loss. Doesn't matter how old we are when it happens, but losing a parent is a tough loss.

I lost my mom nearly 15 years ago -- very suddenly. Had we given even a moment to think about it, my brother and I (and my dad) would have thought that Dad would have been the first to go as he was the one with health problems. But in retrospect, losing my mom first was in a way a blessing.

Why?

Well, I was always close to my mom and felt that I knew her very well. My father, on the other hand, was a typical WWII generation dad, a bit distant, not too "touchy-feely." Had he died before my mom did, my relationship with my mom wouldn't have changed -- and I would have never had the opportunity to really get to know my Dad. So after Mom died, I made a promise to her and to myself that I would get to know my Dad in whatever time we had left together.

He's now 89 and I have to say the last 15 years have been a blessing. We go to lunch every week or so and I've learned all about his family's history, which was pretty much a blank slate when I was growing up. I've really gotten to know him as a father and as a friend and it's been great. And last summer, I fulfilled one of his biggest wishes...I took him to visit the World War II Memorial in Washington DC, where he was treated like a returning hero. For him it was like a pilgrimage.

Bottom line: I learned to relish every day with those I love...and don't wait till tomorrow.
__________________
Achiever51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 07:31 AM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
i am sorry for your loss.

My uncle did the same thing - lied about his age and went into the Navy in WWII at 17. He did a 30 year tour.

in the past 6 years, i lost my mom, then DH. it was really really tough at first, but i learned to hold onto the fun things we did together. visits were infrequent in my mom's case due to distance. but we had some great phone talks.

i wish you strength and good memories.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 08:22 AM   #11
Recycles dryer sheets
LeatherneckPA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Williamsport
Posts: 489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud View Post
and make sure your mother goes to a grief class soon....
ROFLMAO!!! Not much chance of THAT! After they amputated her leg last year the home sent a psych around twice to visit with her. The first time she told him she didn't need his help. Sure she was a little down, but she'd just lost a leg. Wouldn't he be? The second tie he came she told him that if he came back again she'd beat him with her crutch. I'm sure she cried/cries about it, but mostly she says she's mad because he got to go first and left her holding the bag.
__________________
"Iron" Mike - Semper Fi
Jack of all trades; Master of none.
LeatherneckPA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 08:38 AM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,304
Sorry for your loss.

You have reinforced my desire to do things that are important to me ... like staying connected with family and friends.
DW and I are spending 5 months in Asia for that reason (along with traveling). We will continue to winter here and stay connected with our family and friends for as long as we can. Her family is all here and she spent the last 33 years raising our family in the US. The rest of the time will be spent in the US with our family and friends there.

Thanks for sharing.
__________________
Life is GREAT!
megacorp-firee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 08:46 AM   #13
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,544
I am sorry to learn of your loss.

My mother died in January '99, DW's mother died the following June. Even when you know it's coming doesn't make it hurt any less.

Losing both of them in a short time was part of the decision to retire and give up the higher incomes we would have had if we'd stayed working. We have all the time we want to spend with family and friends, which is what matters. Fortunately they are all local so we don't have to travel far to see them.
__________________

__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
FIRE-ees: any regrets? Lusitan Life after FIRE 31 04-13-2007 10:19 PM
Regrets on Pulling the Plug? Mountain_Mike Other topics 14 06-11-2005 01:47 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:33 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.