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Unfinished Business, Take care of it before it's too late
Old 05-24-2014, 12:25 AM   #1
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Unfinished Business, Take care of it before it's too late

Well, My dad's has been gone over 2 mo. now. He is in a far better place.

I had a lot of un-finished business , and kept putting it off again and again for years. Always going to get around to it. I was just too selfish, proud, and lazy to make the effort , now speaking to him over his grave site is a poor excuse for a son to do ..............He Had dementia, but still had some communication skills, I think he would have understood me if i just made the effort.

Don't be a fool like me. If you got un-finished business with someone, take care of it. No time like today , you might not have a chance tomorrow.

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Old 05-24-2014, 04:36 AM   #2
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Sorry for your loss Lakewood. I lost my dad 9 years ago and still miss him a lot. Unfortunately it was an unexpected death so I never really got a chance to say goodbye until after he was gone. I do have many good memories though.

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Old 05-24-2014, 06:14 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Lakewood90712 View Post
If you got un-finished business with someone, take care of it. No time like today , you might not have a chance tomorrow.
A few people are coming together at our house today, and your advice is timely. I have an opportunity to patch a thing or two.

I know that my father (long passed) would not hold a grudge, and would forgive anything of his children. I am the same way now.
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Old 05-24-2014, 09:14 AM   #4
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Excellent advice. No regrets here, no unfinished business. My parents are long, long gone. I still talk with them in my deepest dreams.
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Old 05-24-2014, 09:24 AM   #5
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I am sorry for you loss. It's hard, no doubt about it.
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:02 AM   #6
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Very good advice, Lakewood90712. My condolences too; it is hard to lose a parent.

I often miss my mother's gentle presence and think of her every day. On the bright side, this means that in a sense she is living on in my memories of her.

Also when I look in the mirror, when I say things in a certain way, I see her and hear her. She lives on even in these more physical ways, through me. That is a little weird, but comforts me too.
"You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." - - - C. Columbus
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:19 AM   #7
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So sorry about your father, Lakewood. Perhaps he was proud that he had raised an independent son, and the parent-child bond is almost impossible to break. My parents died early and far away from me, and there was much left unfinished as a result, but I realize now that their perspective was different and that much was also understood without needing to be finished.
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:20 AM   #8
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I do not love all of my relatives equally, but do not dislike anyone to the point of not seeing them face-to-face. I try to live my life and let them live theirs. I keep off their toes and make sure they stay off mine. That way, there will be no regrets. Regarding my late father, we never had problems with each other.
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leo Tolstoy
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Old 05-24-2014, 11:29 AM   #9
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Sorry for your loss, Lakewood. Hopefully you have some good memories that will bring you some comfort and peace at this tough time. Thanks for the important reminder as well.
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Old 05-25-2014, 10:47 AM   #10
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Sorry for your loss.

My DF passed in January, he had hidden his Dementia for years. When he admitted it, things went downhill so fast it was almost impossible to talk. We did have a final talk where we both forgave each other. Not sure if he knew what we were talking about or not.

I found I had to forgive him for somethings after his death, that I couldn't have ever said in life. This was about me not carrying around grudges. It almost seems selfish, but I had to do it for my well being. There was a book I learned a lot from: 'Forgiving the Unforgivable' - Stoop. It is Christian based, that may or may not appeal to everyone.
Best wishes and thanks for sharing,

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