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Brat · 04-14-2019, 01:06 PM

TT I suggest you involve a non-family social worker. Tell the X that it is in her best interest to have an independent opinion and ideally one who has experience with the type of illness she is dealing with. That consultation should be covered by her health insurance.

Basically, I agree with Aerides.

Teacher Terry · 05-05-2019, 09:57 PM

So we are basically just taking care of the 3 pets. Did it for 6 days and she texted saying she was going to have to return Benji because he couldn’t be boarded. We talked and decided we would do it for the 11 days she is gone starting Tuesday. He is starting to come out of his shell so hoping by the time she dies he is adoptable. I wish I wasn’t so allergic or we would take him. My allergies and asthma are so much better since our big guy died that I cannot go back. Anyways things are fine.

ivinsfan · 05-06-2019, 05:57 AM

TT very nice of the two of you to do this. I know a lot of us have talked about karma and a lifetime of bad behavior leading to your stepsons Mom basically dying alone.

No one ever enters adulthood with the intent of alienating every person that has ever loved or cared about them. I'm pretty sure no one's bucket list includes dying alone and friendless. People get selfish, mentally ill, have issues with stress and anxiety or just can't cope. You have no obligation to help someone with these issues, but the compassion you show say more about you then it does about her.

Teacher Terry · 05-06-2019, 10:37 AM

Thanks Ivan. I am no longer stressed about it. I think it was too much at the time because of my job loss, etc. My contract work has picked up and we reduced our expenses to match the reduction in income so things feel better.

Teacher Terry · 05-09-2019, 08:45 PM

If you can believe it the big dog that won’t leave the bathroom we put a harness on him and walked him for a few blocks. If I wasn’t allergic we could give him a great home. Our hope is that by the time his ex dies we have him ready to be adopted. We are doing it for the dog.

Teacher Terry · 08-04-2019, 09:44 PM

In a happy change of events my husband’s ex and he are going to see their youngest in October become a pilot in the Air Force. We have been helping her a lot since she is sick and she has bought them both first class seats to go. It only cost her 400 for his since he is only going one way. I am caring for her animals and thought it was a great way to show that she appreciates it.

pb4uski · 08-05-2019, 01:57 AM

That's great news!

Foppenty · 08-05-2019, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

In a happy change of events my husband’s ex and he are going to see their youngest in October become a pilot in the Air Force. We have been helping her a lot since she is sick and she has bought them both first class seats to go. It only cost her 400 for his since he is only going one way. I am caring for her animals and thought it was a great way to show that she appreciates it.

Happy for you.

Lsbcal · 08-05-2019, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

In a happy change of events my husband’s ex and he are going to see their youngest in October become a pilot in the Air Force. We have been helping her a lot since she is sick and she has bought them both first class seats to go. It only cost her 400 for his since he is only going one way. I am caring for her animals and thought it was a great way to show that she appreciates it.

I am glad for you that things are looking up a bit. You are a very caring person and I admire that.

I've been MIA on this thread but read through all your posts today and boy you have been through the wringer. Best of luck to you Teacher Terry!

Teacher Terry · 08-05-2019, 11:05 AM

Thanks everyone!

ivinsfan · 08-05-2019, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

In a happy change of events my husband’s ex and he are going to see their youngest in October become a pilot in the Air Force. We have been helping her a lot since she is sick and she has bought them both first class seats to go. It only cost her 400 for his since he is only going one way. I am caring for her animals and thought it was a great way to show that she appreciates it.

You are OK with not going and them basically going together? You've been important in the youngsters life too.

Teacher Terry · 08-05-2019, 07:24 PM

I am definitely invited. It’s a money issue with my job ending. My stepson understands. They are also all renting a house with his half brother who is a jerk and treats my husband poorly. I can’t stand to be around him but my stepson adores him.

Teacher Terry · 09-30-2019, 03:21 PM

Just thought I would give a update. I am really happy we took the high road in this situation. Her liver cancer has doubled in size despite treatment. She has a low grade fever and pain in her liver. She just asked if we would care for the animals if she is well enough to travel for Christmas. My youngest step son is worried about what will happen to her 3 pets since he doesn’t live here and travels a lot being in the military. I told him we will just return them to the various rescues that she got them from. It doesn’t seem like there is much hope at this point. She really wanted to be a grandma.

ivinsfan · 09-30-2019, 04:45 PM

Thanks for the update and I hope you and are family are doing OK with all this. You've been more then compassionate.

CardsFan · 09-30-2019, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

Just thought I would give a update. I am really happy we took the high road in this situation.

It sounds to me, from this and other threads, that you are the type of person that prefers the high road. You did a little venting here, and then did what you knew in your heart was the right thing (for you, for her, and for your husband).

i'm pretty sure that DH, his kids, and even the ex realizes you have done the right things.

Teacher Terry · 12-12-2019, 06:35 PM

His ex called today so time for a update. She has just found out her cancer continues to spread and she only has months to live. She is meeting her youngest son in Florida at the uncle’s for Xmas and her pet sitter isn’t answering her texts to confirm. I told her not to worry we had it covered. She rehomed the big young high energy dog to a coworker with a farm. That’s good as we will only have 2 pets to return to the shelter. If I wasn’t allergic I would keep them. She needed someone to talk to and we talked for a hour. After I hung up I started crying. I am surprised how upset I am. I feel so bad for her, my step son and all the milestones she will never get to see.

pb4uski · 12-12-2019, 06:42 PM

Sorry to hear about her poor prognosis.

pacergal · 12-13-2019, 07:56 AM

Sorry to hear of her worsening condition.
You are there giving support for her, your DH and you stepson. Take some time to take care of yourself, too.