Thanks for all the opinions. I know that all real estate is local and that different things are valuable to different buyers.
Our home is not that old (less than 10 years) and, as the original owners, we selected a lot of the finishes (that we could afford). We opted to have the builder put in things that are harder to change - our kitchen has top of the line cherry cabinets that I think are highly desirable (this is always emphasized by realtors in for-sale home descriptions in the area), we have bump-outs and higher ceilings. Extending walls and ceilings are harder to fix later, unlike flooring. We have a gas cooktop (black ceramic), double wall ovens (black), and a stainless steel frig. I don't see any need to change them out. But we didn't do the granite or hardwoods. We have formica and linoleum.
I think I agree with the poster that said we may have to sell for $10K less for an upgrade that would cost us $6K. (i.e., the granite. The hardwoods would cost us about $5-6K in materials - but my DH would install them). Well, that is the worry anyway. In our old neighborhood I remember a neighbor that had the world's worst kitchen - everything falling apart and super dated. The dishwasher didn't work, the icemaker and water on the frig were broken, there were rips in the ugly, old linoleum floor. It was a disaster. Just before selling he hired contractors and gutted the kitchen and put in all new. I just never understood that approach.
I guess I have made a decision. Now to get DH on board. I probably will wait a few days to start working on him - we are paying Uncle Sam several thousand dollars on this tax day. Too bad it isn't a refund!