Useless Devices - just shake your head

For myself, I have yet to see anything that tops Pet Rocks for the ultimate in pure marketing.

People paid $5 each for them. I guess it was only those who didn't have enough in their heads already.
 
But wait, there's more! A free microwave bacon rack. Mmmm... omelets and bacon.

I was really hoping that instead of a microwave bacon rack, the "but wait there's more" reveal would have them selling not 1 but 2 EZ Crackers for $19.99 (plus S+H). One for home use, one for the office.
 
I wanted to buy a salad shooter, but they required a three-day waiting period....:whistle:
 
This one beats them all for me.



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For myself, I have yet to see anything that tops Pet Rocks for the ultimate in pure marketing.

People paid $5 each for them. I guess it was only those who didn't have enough in their heads already.
I think bottled water tops pet rocks. That and the folks that run successful oxygen bars.
 
6 useless products...

6. Sree Yantra : What is Sree Yantra? I would let the product’s website describe it.
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Shree Yantra or Shri Yantra is a multi purpose Yantra and used for wealth, fame, authority, prosperity and mental peace. Shri Yantra or Shree Yantra remove all the negative vibrations and add positive cosmic energies into our environment. It is beneficial for almost everybody and must be used by everyone. The yantra pick up particular cosmic ray wave emitted by the planets and other universal objects and transform them into constructive vibrations. These are then transmitted to the surroundings where the Shri Yantra is placed, thus destroying all destructive forces within the vicinity.
5. Automated Revolving Ice Cream Cone : Seriously how lazy can someone be? I admit that the present generation is lazy, but lazy enough that they would need an ice-cream cone which revolves by itself?
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4. Earthbound Dog Tag : What if you are abducted by aliens and left stranded somewhere else in this mystical galaxy. Will you be able to find your way home?
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With the help of Earth bound Dog Tag you will be able to locate and communicate the location of Earth from any location in space.
From the website :
Engraved with several methods of locating Earth in the Galaxy, an alien pilot does not need to understand any human language to use this information. The mathematical location of Earth in relation to several important pulsars is represented by the radial diagram. Earth’s relation to the solar system is shown at the top. Also included is a schematic of Earth itself and it’s major land masses. Two human icons (man and woman) are graphically connected to Earth at points in all three diagrams and are shown with their hands waving as a gesture of goodwill
3. Duster Cat Slippers : I found this at Brandish.Tv’s top five useless inventions list. The product itself is simple enough. A set of dusters that would fit into the cat’s paws and clean up the house while the cat idles around. That sounds innovative and useful, right? Wrong.
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From Brandish.Tv :







They idle around your house doing very little except eating. Well, make them earn their grub by getting them to dust when they walk! Obviously you’ll have to ignore the fact that they lick their anus, then inevitable trying and lick their paws, thus spreading cat anus all over your nice new floor boards. Other than that it’s genius.
2. Reserve A Spot In Heaven : I love this product. Because unlike most other products in this list this one doesn’t take itself too seriously.
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This product from Edgar Kim and Nathan Davis, claims to reserve a spot for you in heaven, because apparently heaven is running out of space. If you don’t want a future of endless suffering all you have to do is shell out $12.79 for the essential travel kit or $15.95 for the all access travel kit. Quote from the site
It is recommended that you frame your documents. Let people know you’re going up!
Heaven doesn’t suite you? Dont worry, thanks to these guys you can also book your spot in hell at the same rates. And like all good products this one also has a money back guarantee!

1. Japanese Face Slimmer : If you thought the sauna belt was bad (and it is bad, mind you..melting the fat – literally is just not possible), then wait till you have seen what the Japanese have come up with. The face slimmer is a hideous mask that claims to slim down your face using contact pressure and sauna! So. finally we have a product thats capable of burning your skin and crushing your bones together.
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(Bonus) Back Scratcher’s T-Shirt : This is not a real product but just a concept from the Chindogu society.
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From the website :
The friend (or partner) who offers to scratch your back is a friend (or partner) indeed. Except it all goes horribly wrong when they just can’t seem to locate the maddening itch. For those who are fed up of saying, ‘left a bit… up a bit… right a bit… damn!’ comes a very special T-shirt, complete with Battleships style, itch-locater grid. The scratchee is also equipped with a hand-held miniature corresponding grid-map, for accurate communication. So when the scratcher says, ‘I’m scratching F5, ‘ the scratchee can say, ‘try G7′.
 
For people who can't cup their hands?

Jolly Time | Popcorn Ball Maker

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And if you're reserving space in heaven, be sure you have considered your pet's post-rapture care:
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee.

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

From their FAQ:
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with
Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
 
Along with Pet Rocks, I nominate the International Star Registry, where for just $54 you can name a star after someone. Huh?
 
Along with Pet Rocks, I nominate the International Star Registry, where for just $54 you can name a star after someone. Huh?

Hey, that's really, really romantic! If I were only 17 again, and if my steady date had a star named after me, I'd be in heaven. :D We could lie out on the grass on a dark night with binoculars and look for it, together.

(After that, the submarine races in the lake...)
 
Juicer

Though one gets fresh juice but cleaning afterwords is a big pain.
 
Man, compared to the things y'all found, that hot dog toaster looks like an absolute necessity. :LOL:
 
I have one of these in my kitchen and DH and I are trying to remember the last time we used it:
 

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I have one of these in my kitchen and DH and I are trying to remember the last time we used it:

The cabinet in the middle and the bottom drawer are handy for storing things, but the top tends to collect clutter.
 
I have one of these in my kitchen and DH and I are trying to remember the last time we used it:

That's a children's toy. My daughters have one in pink and they pretend to doing this thing called "cooking" wherein they put imaginary stuff in the pink machine, then extract a finished product that is appetizing. And imaginary.
 
And if you're reserving space in heaven, be sure you have considered your pet's post-rapture care:


Home Page

From their FAQ:

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with
Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.

Man, this could be a niche market in a growth industry that I could really capitalize on. I wonder if they would take me on as a pet caretaker, and what slice of the fee I would get.
 
This is not a gadget, but a toy called Clackers. I had one, and for some reason or other I survived.......:crazy:.....:LOL:

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I want BOTH the Egg Cracker and the Hot Dog & Bun cooker. :LOL:

In all seriousness, I could have used the Egg Cracker when the numbness in my hands from advanced carpal tunnel syndrome had me afraid to pick up or handle anything fragile. I have some interesting Good Grips (made by OXO) kitchen utensils. I still use them to compensate for a permanent loss of grip strength.

I can't even crack King Crab claws anymore. ;)
 
How about that electric belt you wear around your waist that gives you six-pack abs without all that annoying exercise nonsense? Yup, that's right! Now you can build that washboard belly while relaxing in your recliner and watching TV. Of course the guys and gals in the commercial all appear to have < 10% body fat :rolleyes: thanks to this amazing device.
 
Ok I got no useless items. However, Ill admit the bullet is awesome for frozen margaritas. :blush:
 
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