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Vocabulary Time
Old 04-06-2008, 08:02 AM   #1
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Vocabulary Time

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *sshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:33 AM   #2
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I like this game.

Reguvinate: The replacement of Spitzer as governor.

Selibate: Someone who insists on convincing you of the rightness of their religious beliefs.

Obsolute: A rule or policy that is still applied after the need for the rule has long passed.
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Old 04-06-2008, 01:10 PM   #3
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Thanks for the fun topic, Rich; whew, I needed that.

Catatonic: RX to lower blood pressure: place one or more cats on lap, repeat as needed.
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Old 04-06-2008, 01:44 PM   #4
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histerical: i enjoyed that so much i've got to go back and read it again.
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Old 04-06-2008, 03:28 PM   #5
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Good ones, Martha.

Hesitake: to accept an offer you weren't initially so sure about

FIRETalc: a topical treatment for that itchy feeling you get when your calculations say you can't retire just yet.
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 04-06-2008, 04:07 PM   #6
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Conmused - When you are tricked into thinking somethings funny ?
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From a List on the Wall in my Doctor's Office
Old 04-06-2008, 04:32 PM   #7
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From a List on the Wall in my Doctor's Office

Asphalt - hemorrhoids

(I am not sure of the spelling)

Mike D.
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Old 04-06-2008, 04:35 PM   #8
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Good ones!

Bannuity: New policy of ER.org
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Old 04-06-2008, 04:47 PM   #9
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They are all so bad, they are good.
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Old 04-06-2008, 05:39 PM   #10
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Early Reqirement- being forced to leave the job early ! How sad !
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Old 04-06-2008, 05:41 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Early Reqirement- being forced to leave the job early ! How sad !
or...

Easy Retirement: a pension with COLA.
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Old 04-06-2008, 05:52 PM   #12
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Calmculation: Idle math to confirm your long held FIRE.
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Old 04-06-2008, 06:45 PM   #13
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Living in Tin - residing in a mobile home
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Old 04-06-2008, 06:45 PM   #14
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Perfect!
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Old 04-06-2008, 06:48 PM   #15
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This is amusing !

Just enraged -Pissed at the small diamond he picked out !
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Old 04-06-2008, 06:51 PM   #16
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If they are just enraged, they should go back to living in tin.
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Old 04-06-2008, 07:04 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Living in Tin - residing in a mobile home
Oh, my. I am humbled.
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Old 04-06-2008, 09:48 PM   #18
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Oh, I love these - they really tickle me :-) Thanks so much for posting - I'm off to copy to my family and friends....
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Specially for Martha....
Old 04-06-2008, 10:12 PM   #19
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Specially for Martha....

Advocado: a fruit with a suit
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:11 PM   #20
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Emploder - an unstable company for whom you work.
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