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vow renewal??
Old 06-11-2013, 10:44 AM   #1
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vow renewal??

I am really thinking of it for our 25th anniversary. We had I guess a lovely wedding, small, some family, some friends, in my church. But when I see the photos (taken by a relative), I remember how terrified I was--I'm not close to family, so it seemed like a performance. My aunt went out of her way to tell me that my dress was unflattering and didn't fit, which has dug into my soul ever since. I'd also like to spend the time to find a dress that I love, no sequins or beading, but something I feel beautiful in.
I really love the idea of a truly private vow renewal, just us and a photographer, with vows that we each spend time writing for each other. I would want flowers and an anniversary ring. No cake, no present, nobody even knowing until after the fact, if then. It will also coincide with a big move and a new start for us (semi-retirement in the city we consider "home"). Is this cheesy? If so, it won't bother me--after all, nobody needs to come!
I'll also add that this would be outside, in my husband's favorite place. He's been talking about going there for our 25th for year (we went about 8 months before we got married.)
I've survived some terrific medical problems and had very little chance of living to the 10 year mark, much less 25. So I am grateful, and beyond grateful
to have had him supporting me all these years.
Has anyone done something similar?
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:49 AM   #2
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Being single, no. Nonetheless, I think it's a lovely idea. I do hope you go through with it. You certainly deserve it.

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Old 06-11-2013, 12:25 PM   #3
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I think renewing vows sounds very romantic and so special.

I've been married almost 36 years..we have not renewed our vows. But what we've done/have not done does not matter. It's all about you and your husband.

Go for it.
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:27 PM   #4
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We were 21 when we got married. I was away at college so my Mom planned the whole thing. Most of the guests were my parents friends and relatives. I've always felt that it was my parents' party and the wedding ceremony was the main act. I would have preferred a private ceremony at a courthouse but my parents owed a lot of people a party.

That said, we're still married for almost 37 years and I have no desire to renew our vows. I'm just not a party person.

But for you and your DH, do whatever would feel right for YOU. After medical problems and dire predictions on your life span and now moving and semi-retirement it sounds like a lovely idea to celebrate exactly how you want.

Be sure to post a picture for us here. I want to see the ring!
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:32 PM   #5
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Go for it!
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:45 PM   #6
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I think it is a great idea. Our 25th is coming up in a few years and I'm planning to book our wedding reception spot (the student union by the lake in Madison, WI). It may end up being a surprise for her. I feel like celebrating the fact that we made it to 25 and we're still going strong.

Do what is right for you two. They are your lives!
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:51 PM   #7
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If he is comfortable with it too, then go for it! So many guys just aren't.

The only reason I brought this up is that you said, " I would want flowers and an anniversary ring. No cake, no present, nobody even knowing until after the fact, if then. " And, I was wondering if HE would want flowers and an anniversary ring, no cake, no present, and so on. As long as you feel this whole idea is a "we" thing and not a "me" thing, then what a cool idea it is.
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Old 06-11-2013, 01:46 PM   #8
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I think this is a great idea ! What a special way to celebrate !
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:23 PM   #9
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Fabulous idea!

As others have said, get DH on board, i.e. include his ideas.
Remember the K.I.S.S. method in all planning.
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:35 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by palomalou View Post
I am really thinking of it for our 25th anniversary....
I really love the idea of a truly private vow renewal, just us and a photographer, with vows that we each spend time writing for each other. I would want flowers and an anniversary ring. No cake, no present, nobody even knowing until after the fact, if then.... Is this cheesy? If so, it won't bother me--after all, nobody needs to come!
I'll also add that this would be outside, in my husband's favorite place.
Has anyone done something similar?
My best friend's husband surprised her with a vow renewal, including the wedding party and the officiant from their wedding, for their 10th anniversary. It was very sweet and fun (except not sure my friend enjoyed the surprise part so much) but your idea sounds much more romantic and special. I vote yes!
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:55 PM   #11
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The wedding is for your guests and family.
Your Renewal is for you and your husband.
I think it should be where, and with whom you want, and are comfortable with.
We had a renewal ceremony at a local arboretum with a dozen friends and family. It was wonderful because it was for us, no worries about others.

And congratulations!
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:58 PM   #12
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If he is comfortable with it too, then go for it! So many guys just aren't.

The only reason I brought this up is that you said, " I would want flowers and an anniversary ring. No cake, no present, nobody even knowing until after the fact, if then. " And, I was wondering if HE would want flowers and an anniversary ring, no cake, no present, and so on. As long as you feel this whole idea is a "we" thing and not a "me" thing, then what a cool idea it is.
+1
Sounds like a great idea, assuming you first both agree on what to do. I think this is one of those things were both need to be on the same page.
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:57 PM   #13
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No fears, we do it together or not at all! I'm pulling my mind together, thinking to broach it next month at the 24th anniversary.
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Old 06-11-2013, 06:22 PM   #14
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We did this 7 years ago on our 25th. We renewed our vows at our Saturday 4 p.m. regular Mass, and invited family & friends to observe, then come over to our house afterwards for a backyard party.

Girlfriends & I made hundreds of sandwiches using Costco egg roll buns, which we served next to a condiment bar. Then we had Frog Eye Salad, Crock pot Macaroni & Cheese, Potato casserole, lots of appetizers, Costco cakes, veggie trays, etc. And a keg, of course. And wine along with a spiked punch that really got everyone going.

Nothing fancy, but we had about 90 here (the kids' friends came too) and it was a wonderful, delightful, and yes, romantic evening.

About 10:30 the Priest that married us showed up, so that just made our day.

It was a lot of work, but I'd do it all again.

Let us know what you decide to do!
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Old 06-11-2013, 06:33 PM   #15
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I think it is a great idea, and make it whatever y'all want it to be. Outside/inside, guests/no guests, officiant or just the two of you, the planning together will be a really fun part of the whole thing.

For us, we'd want a big party! Maybe I need to start thinking about it...we are at the 20 year make this year!

And your aunt? She was a heinous B*%#}^ and you should let her insult go, after all these years. It is clear that your DH loved you in that dress.
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Old 06-11-2013, 07:03 PM   #16
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I think it would be a lovely idea also. You should do it exactly how you and your DH want to do it.
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Old 06-18-2013, 03:36 AM   #17
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And your aunt? She was a heinous B*%#}^ and you should let her insult go, after all these years. It is clear that your DH loved you in that dress.
I don't know about loving me in that dress, but at least he still loves me--the important thing!
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Old 06-18-2013, 01:05 PM   #18
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My future wife wore a cute maternity shirt at our courthouse wedding

For our 25th anniversery I took her out for a hot dog and fries.

You don't want to build expectations too quickly.
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Old 06-18-2013, 02:32 PM   #19
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My future wife wore a cute maternity shirt at our courthouse wedding

For our 25th anniversery I took her out for a hot dog and fries.

You don't want to build expectations too quickly.
Hahaha. You Sir, are a man amongst men.

...and your wife is a patient saint.
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Old 06-18-2013, 03:45 PM   #20
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This thread brought back memories of this Dinosaurs episode from back in the day. DW and I have often joked about it over the years.

Hope your renewal goes better than this - LOL.

-gauss

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