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Wedding Bells
Old 05-31-2013, 12:32 PM   #1
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Wedding Bells

My daughter just got engaged and is planning their wedding in Sarasota for next March or April. Looks like about 150 guests. We will pay for the wedding. What is the range of costs that others have paid and did anyone make an equal gift to their sons? I'm really excited!
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Old 05-31-2013, 12:53 PM   #2
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As a father of 2 daughters in that season of life I'm very interested in the answers you receive.

Also, wonder if people just pay on a 'time & materials basis' for all wedding costs or if some have just opted to give the bride 'x' fixed bid amount to be used as she wished towards wedding costs. If you did the latter what amount did you agree upon?

Good luck to you and daughter Gatordoc. Congrats!
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:07 PM   #3
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I'm not quite there yet, but I'm a teen with lots of low income friends making the jump to marriage. One trend I've noticed is them cutting down the cost with wedding sponsorships. They get free flowers or other things in exchange for putting little cards or plaques with the provider's name on them on the tables, in the gift bags, or wherever else they agree upon. I've never seen it done in a distasteful way, though I'm sure it can go there if not done right.

I'm not sure if that'd be right for people on this forum given that you guys are pretty financially set, but in the spirit of saving money, figured I'd post it
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:23 PM   #4
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My daughter got married seven years ago in upstate New York so the prices were lower than other areas . I gave her $15,000 and bought her dress , veil & tiara. She also got money from her Dad . After I gave her the check I butted out and let my daughter & her fiancee plan the wedding they wanted . It was lovely . Shopping for the dress is such an emotional time .I was glad that it was only she & I shopping . It made it so special .
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:37 PM   #5
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My daughter just got engaged and is planning their wedding in Sarasota for next March or April. Looks like about 150 guests. We will pay for the wedding. What is the range of costs that others have paid and did anyone make an equal gift to their sons? I'm really excited!
This is such an individual matter, and depends on so many different factors. My daughter (an only child) married in 2009 in Portland, Oregon, at age 31 after being completely financially independant for 10+ years. Her wedding was planned for two weeks before my long-planned retirement date. I wanted to contribute to her wedding expenses, despite her age and financial circumstances because (unlike me) she had always been the type of girly girl who dreams over wedding magazines and wedding dresses, and I knew that having her dream wedding would mean a lot to her.

I asked around at work, and after getting a good idea of what weddings cost I decided to contribute $10K. I assume that her father contributed as well (we are divorced), and her husband is in his 40's with a high income, and she had a good income too so I am sure they contributed as well. Her outdoor wedding was absolutely beautiful, and the large indoor reception that followed was quite lavish with an elegant catered dinner and open bar for all attendees. So, she probably spent all that she got from the two of us and then some. She never looked lovelier, and he looked handsome as well. His parents flew in from Barcelona for the wedding, and the dancing afterwards continued into the night - - I think we left at about 3 AM!
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:49 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by MuirWannabe
As a father of 2 daughters in that season of life I'm very interested in the answers you receive.

Also, wonder if people just pay on a 'time & materials basis' for all wedding costs or if some have just opted to give the bride 'x' fixed bid amount to be used as she wished towards wedding costs. If you did the latter what amount did you agree upon?

Good luck to you and daughter Gatordoc. Congrats!
Thank you! A fixed amount sounds like a good idea but it's important to DW and I that our large families will attend. That complicates the fixed amount a bit.
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:59 PM   #7
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Thank you! A fixed amount sounds like a good idea but it's important to DW and I that our large families will attend. That complicates the fixed amount a bit.
It's been 14 years since we got married, so I can't give you prices. I would say this comment prompted me to say, "Be careful attaching strings to gift money". I think it's awesome you want to help, but be careful not to imply to your kid, "Creepy Uncle Ralph gets to bring his new internet bride from Russia or you are out $10k in funding!". Different families have different traditions but I can't imagine our parents influencing the guest list in any way. Then again, we funded the wedding ourselves.
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Old 05-31-2013, 02:05 PM   #8
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It's been 14 years since we got married, so I can't give you prices. I would say this comment prompted me to say, "Be careful attaching strings to gift money". I think it's awesome you want to help, but be careful not to imply to your kid, "Creepy Uncle Ralph gets to bring his new internet bride from Russia or you are out $10k in funding!". Different families have different traditions but I can't imagine our parents influencing the guest list in any way. Then again, we funded the wedding ourselves.
Duly noted. I think I'll butt out of the guest list and details and offer advice if asked. Good advice.
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Old 05-31-2013, 02:13 PM   #9
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Duly noted. I think I'll butt out of the guest list and details and offer advice if asked. Good advice.

Your response makes me think your kid is goingt to have a great wedding day, LOL! A lot of people will make the argument for a simple, justice of the peace action, but I do have very fond memories of our traditional wedding. It's the last time my three childhood friends and I really partied together (we're still in touch, but times change) and my father passed away recently and this was one of the best days we had together, bar none.
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Old 05-31-2013, 03:02 PM   #10
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Duly noted. I think I'll butt out of the guest list and details and offer advice if asked. Good advice.
Another vote for this. Take a step back, keep a sober head and let others get involved in the wedding planning.
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Old 05-31-2013, 04:12 PM   #11
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In the last year or two, I have heard the cost of an average wedding in the US is about $30,000. However my wedding cost about $10,000 at a nice venue. I did some shopping around, was flexible, and had a attendees list of about 100 people. Reception was a sit down dinner at a country club, photographer, videographer, flowers, cake, the whole bit.

Its good to do what you feel is within your means. So many couples spend big bucks on their weddings to the point where it interferes with their life. I know one couple who spent $35,000 on their wedding while they were renting an apartment (wanting a house) and had cars that were falling apart. Hopefully your family has reasonable expectations. If they aren't gifted money exceedingly lavishly, perhaps that will encourage reasonable expectations?

Good luck and I hope theirs is their 1st and only marriage...
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