Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-04-2010, 04:19 PM   #21
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 123
I had to chuckle to myself after reading this thread...when I figured out whether I was financially ready for ER, I thought I didn't have to budget for a wedding because DD is gay. After reading the NYT wedding section every week lately though, I probably should earmark $20k! Maybe $25k because there might be 2 dresses...although there would also be 2 sets of brides parents...hmm I wonder what the protocol is?
__________________

__________________
Mmm Rrr is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 10-04-2010, 04:21 PM   #22
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Whatever you do talk her into buying favors if she must have them . There is nothing worse than the day before the wedding assembling 100 favors because the bride wanted something unique but never quite got to them . Another great idea which my daughter's florist did was take the flowers from the church and put them in vases for the reception.
Did you get stuck with doing the favors, Moe?

DH wanted to do that with the church flowers but I really wanted to leave them to brighten up the altar--guess who won
__________________

__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 04:33 PM   #23
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 131
Anywhere from $0--30,000. It depends on the size and organization of the wedding. You can get married almost for free at city hall (some do that). It doesn't cost much to fly to Vegas and get married by Elvis (some do that). You can get indebted for life by flying 300 guests to Maui for your one-day party (some do that). As with many other things it depends heavily on whether you pay your way out of it (hire people, buy stuff) or you do the work yourself and whether you go the traditional way (pricey) or think up an nontraditional way.
__________________
jacob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 04:36 PM   #24
Full time employment: Posting here.
ronocnikral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever View Post
I think the economy has hurt the wedding business (duh) so there should be some serious negotiating room for the venue, dress, and other areas.
this is true. we have about quarter as much on the books for 2011 as we did this time last year for 2010. of course, we are "above average" on photography budgets in our area.

the best way to save money, have an afternoon wedding. our bride this last weekend did this. ceremony started at noon and they left by 5:30, all in time for the venue to flip the room in 3 hours. i know she saved big, especially since the dj "cut her a deal" since he wouldn't have to travel back and forth setting up all his crap.

The other money saving tactic we are seeing is sunday weddings. although, methinks the venues will wise up, as over half our inquires from the last bridal show were sundays. a large change from the 2009 shows we did.

don't overspend on the dress, as they all come from china. and a wedding industry anomaly i am still trying to solve is how come they all take 14 weeks?

imo, $20k can throw a nice party; huge, over priced areas (like NYC, SFO) excluded. of course, my geology TA in college got married for probably under a grand, the keg of beer being the biggest expense.
__________________
ronocnikral is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 04:36 PM   #25
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mmm Rrr View Post
I had to chuckle to myself after reading this thread...when I figured out whether I was financially ready for ER, I thought I didn't have to budget for a wedding because DD is gay. After reading the NYT wedding section every week lately though, I probably should earmark $20k! Maybe $25k because there might be 2 dresses...although there would also be 2 sets of brides parents...hmm I wonder what the protocol is?
Two bridezillas? Horrors!
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 04:37 PM   #26
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
My wedding (1973) was under $500.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 05:03 PM   #27
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 886
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud View Post
From the little I know.... I think the $20K is what my sister paid for her step daughter a few years ago....


As for how high can they go Let's just say back when I did taxes (early 80s) there was one rich guy who spent $2 million on his daughter's wedding... and he wanted us to write it off as a business expense... the partner had a nice converstion with him about orinary and necessary business expenses...
IIRC It is routine in this area to write off a percentage of the per guest costs of the wedding for the "business guests" invited. No idea if its ever challenged. Probably too busy auditing the fake business boats
__________________
Emeritus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 05:26 PM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever View Post
Did you get stuck with doing the favors, Moe?

DH wanted to do that with the church flowers but I really wanted to leave them to brighten up the altar--guess who won
Yes , I wrapped over a hundred flower lollipops with other candy in some mesh with ribbons . The theme of her wedding was spring flowers .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 05:32 PM   #29
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mmm Rrr View Post
I had to chuckle to myself after reading this thread...when I figured out whether I was financially ready for ER, I thought I didn't have to budget for a wedding because DD is gay. After reading the NYT wedding section every week lately though, I probably should earmark $20k! Maybe $25k because there might be 2 dresses...although there would also be 2 sets of brides parents...hmm I wonder what the protocol is?

Not sure but I just booked a cruise to Alaska and apparently in certain waters they can marry anyone so this is an option if you ever need it . They'll even do a wedding reception .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 06:32 PM   #30
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,456
I can say this, like most things, she will need to prioritize what is important to her and put the money there. I cared about food, booze, live band. I cared far less about dress, flowers, wedding cake, photography, and a fancy venue.

What I got was an awesome wedding to a great guy! That's what you hope your daughter feels at the end of her wedding day.

Have her really think (along with her fiance) about what is important and put the money there. And hey, anyone want to post a wedding picture?
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
The Law of Thomas
Old 10-04-2010, 08:06 PM   #31
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
MasterBlaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,359
The Law of Thomas

The Law of Thomas... ('the duration of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding')

Truer words were never spoken.
__________________
MasterBlaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2010, 08:13 PM   #32
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterBlaster View Post
The Law of Thomas... ('the duration of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding')

Truer words were never spoken.
Google Joan Rivers' daughter's wedding.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 01:07 AM   #33
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
kyounge1956's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,171
I had absolutely no idea weddings were so expensive! I think it's very interesting to compare the numbers being mentioned on this thread and the numbers on some of the "what is your annual budget?" threads. The answer in both cases seems to be "anything from $20K on up" with a few uber-frugal individuals citing numbers well below that range and others giving examples of how vast an area is included by those two little words "on up". I'm a total outsider on this one, not married myself and no children, but to me it seems ludicrously disproportionate to spend as much money on a wedding, that will be all over in a few hours, as one would for a middling new car, or a down-payment on a house, or a year or two of college—especially if there's any truth in the "law of Thomas".
__________________
kyounge1956 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 07:24 AM   #34
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 360
IMO. Weddings over $5K turn into bourgeois events, especially when the blender warranty lasts longer than the marriage. There are so many other practical ways to spend large amounts of money.
__________________
jayc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 08:22 AM   #35
Moderator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rocky Inlets
Posts: 24,455
Quote:
Originally Posted by jayc View Post
IMO. Weddings over $5K turn into bourgeois events, especially when the blender warranty lasts longer than the marriage. There are so many other practical ways to spend large amounts of money.
I think this is a bit harsh. Of our three, one chose a wedding celebration that cost more than $5K. They invited close family and friends and most guests had to travel by air, so DD and SIL felt they should least have a nice party, which they did. They could have used that money in other ways, but they were both working, had no debt, and IMHO the money wasn’t poorly spent - there wasn’t a lot of waste or opulence. Now, 5 years and 1 grandchild later, they have surpassed the blender warranty test as well.

How much is too much is a personal choice. My feeling is that spending large sums to celebrate a wedding when the couple has other pressing financial obligations isn’t smart – especially at a moment in life when other choices can be powerful financial enablers. OTOH, if the happy couple and parents are financially independent or have the resources, there is no reason not to spend the money as they choose.
__________________
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
The Wedding Twilight Zone
Old 10-05-2010, 11:39 AM   #36
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
MasterBlaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,359
The Wedding Twilight Zone

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyounge1956 View Post
I had absolutely no idea weddings were so expensive! I think it's very interesting to compare the numbers being mentioned on this thread and the numbers on some of the "what is your annual budget?" threads. The answer in both cases seems to be "anything from $20K on up" with a few uber-frugal individuals citing numbers well below that range and others giving examples of how vast an area is included by those two little words "on up". I'm a total outsider on this one, not married myself and no children, but to me it seems ludicrously disproportionate to spend as much money on a wedding, that will be all over in a few hours, as one would for a middling new car, or a down-payment on a house, or a year or two of college—especially if there's any truth in the "law of Thomas".
You are speaking as a practical person. With weddings practical thinking goes out the window. Logic and common sense are not useful here. Instead you are entering another dimension of time and space - The Wedding Twilight Zone.

Many a young woman, since she was a young girl, has been dreaming of "The Day I Get Married". Ditto for her mother. They have this lifelong fantasy that it will be "The happiest day of my life". So letting something like money get in the way of this lifelong dream just isn't going to happen.

Most guys want to get/be married. But the wedding itself is just something they will have to endure. It's good training for them for what's to come

Still, it is kind of sad and kind of idiotic when people of modest means spend that kind of money (or worse go into debt) on a one day event.
__________________
MasterBlaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 12:19 PM   #37
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterBlaster View Post
You are speaking as a practical person. With weddings practical thinking goes out the window. Logic and common sense are not useful here. Instead you are entering another dimension of time and space - The Wedding Twilight Zone.

Many a young woman, since she was a young girl, has been dreaming of "The Day I Get Married". Ditto for her mother. They have this lifelong fantasy that it will be "The happiest day of my life". So letting something like money get in the way of this lifelong dream just isn't going to happen.

Most guys want to get/be married. But the wedding itself is just something they will have to endure. It's good training for them for what's to come

Still, it is kind of sad and kind of idiotic when people of modest means spend that kind of money (or worse go into debt) on a one day event.
Somehow I missed all that.
For most of the weddings in my immediate family the parents did not only not pay for the wedding they didn't even attend.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 12:23 PM   #38
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Fireup2020's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,186
There was a wedding at the treehouses - married on one of the zipline platforms, then the couple zipped down...her dress was modified with a slit in the front to accomodate the harness! The guests, family, and bridal party took up 5 of the treehouses - the reception was at the main lodge...everyone had a great time!
__________________
Make no mistake, my friend, it takes more than money to make men rich. - A. P. Gouthey
Fireup2020 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 01:01 PM   #39
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
jIMOh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Milford, OH
Posts: 2,085
I married in 2001 (or was it 2002, I forget already...)

We spent about 10-15k and FIL father kicked in most, but I did pay for limos, tuxes and a few other things out of my own budget.


I will offer some suggestions:

1) If you have out of town guests things are different than if everyone is in town (or most everyone)... not from a cost standpoint (necessarily) but from a logistics and common sense standpoint.

Examples-
in 1 out of town wedding I went to, they had shuttles which took us from hotel to wedding/reception and back

in another out of town wedding, they had shuttles from hotel to reception. So the logistics (it was my sister's wedding) for me was this- went to church, wedding, pictures, got caught in traffic back to hotel, missed shuttle, drove thru a few bad sections of town to find reception hall, somehow made it back to hotel too.

moral of story- if you have out of town guests, think about logistics (like have church and reception and hotel all on same road). Convenience matters.

Another example is my whole half of wedding was from out of town (I live in Ohio but my whole family is from Buffalo). The Friday night before my wedding we had a HUGE party at my house. No idea what my wife did (I remember seeing her at party) but I had a blast visiting with people which came in for the wedding. The Party started while I was at rehearsal, but carried in well past midnight- it is the best memory I have of the whole weekend.

My cousin duplicated this 10 years later for his wedding and I enjoyed hanging with him the night before- the day of the wedding is too busy for the groom to enjoy anything LOL.


2) Look outside of normal wedding advertisements for help. Meaning if you go to a wedding fair to find a cake person and a photographer you will pay $$$$ for the service. If you ask around you can find bargains.

examples-
A friend my wife worked with did wedding cakes, and although it was a 65 minute drive from our house to sample cakes and similar, it saved us a few hundred.
Another friend my wife worked with, her father was a photographer. Caveat was he was a farmer by day and lived about 90 minutes east of Cincinnati. It was a trek to go out and visit him, and get the proofs and pick up the albums... but when every photographer within Cincinnati charged $2000 plus or minus, we paid about $500 AND got to keep our proofs.


Have fun with it
if you do it right, you only do it once
__________________
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. One person's stupidity is another person's job security.
jIMOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2010, 01:05 PM   #40
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelB View Post
I think this is a bit harsh. Of our three, one chose a wedding celebration that cost more than $5K.
The OP asked in general about wedding cost. I gave my opinion in general which was very close to yours about being practical without the personal critique.
__________________

__________________
jayc is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How much for daughter's wedding crispus Young Dreamers 189 05-20-2009 07:00 PM
Wedding gift Moemg Other topics 15 04-23-2009 04:21 PM
Wedding Staples TromboneAl Other topics 12 08-01-2006 12:15 AM
Wedding-Related Story TromboneAl Other topics 18 06-04-2005 05:49 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:56 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.