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Old 05-20-2009, 05:50 PM   #21
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Sam, my wish for you is that your family weddings will never involve a bridezilla (or groomzilla) who insists on a chocolate fountain. (Stamps foot). And don't ever let them watch those appalling wedding shows like "say yes to the ($10,000) dress".
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:32 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
Please for the love of God and all that is Southern do not put $$ on your wedding invitations. ACK! My great aunts just rolled over in their graves! ACK!.....A Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Exactly what I was thinking. Incredibly poor taste in my opinion. Let the young couple register and hopefully they will be grateful for whatever gifts they receive.
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Old 05-20-2009, 08:23 PM   #23
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Sam, does Vietnamese wedding tradition call for days and days of gambling and drinking after the main ceremony is over? Or was that a peculiarity of my wife's particular SE Asian country of origin?
Not that I'm aware of. There would be a lot of drinking during the reception if the event is hosted in VN, but here in the US, drinking is only moderate. Never heard of gambling associated with wedding before.

What country is your wife from?

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Old 05-20-2009, 09:18 PM   #24
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Please for the love of God and all that is Southern do not put $$ on your wedding invitations. ACK! My great aunts just rolled over in their graves! ACK!

A lot will depend on the traditions your children want to incorporate into their weddings. The bride does generally dictate this. It is perfectly acceptable for you to give her a budget that you can afford to provide towards the celebration in whatever way she sees fit. And for your son, it is traditional for the groom's family to pay for (and dictate) the rehearsal dinner.

Some of the Northern folks at my wedding gave us cash gifts at the reception, but none of my Southern folks did, except a couple of uncles who pressed a few $50s in DHs hand while shaking it in congratulations.

It is always considered poor form to solicit gifts to any kind of celebration. If the bride is registered somewhere, it should be volunteered to guests only when they ask. Ditto for baby showers. Ugh! The times I have seen this done. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
You go Sarah!

Some of the Eastern European heritage type traditions that were / are common in Pittsburgh were nicely documented in the movie The Deer Hunter.

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Old 05-21-2009, 07:14 AM   #25
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I can personally attest to the fact that the Greeks in Chicago were spending $20,000 on weddings and christenings 30 years ago. God only knows what they spend today, but they consider those 2 times the most important times in someone's life. I don't, but am only half-Greek and the other half refuses to blow that much money in a day.
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Old 05-21-2009, 09:47 AM   #26
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Not that I'm aware of. There would be a lot of drinking during the reception if the event is hosted in VN, but here in the US, drinking is only moderate. Never heard of gambling associated with wedding before.

What country is your wife from?
Thailand/Cambodia/Laos. It's all mixed up.

I think I may have been hoodwinked and my SIL really just wanted to throw us a nice wedding so she could invite everyone in the extended family and friend network over to gamble and drink. The way the gambling works is that the house takes a cut of the pot on each round when someone wins (some game like highly simplified poker that involves bluffing). So big financial incentive for one to maximize number of guests, maximize dollar amounts bet, and maximize play time (like a real casino).

But we received almost exclusively cash gifts, part of which we actually got to keep after we paid the SIL for her food and efforts. In the end it was a nicely profitable transaction - we got a small amount of cash right as we were finishing grad school, and I got a great wife out of it!
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Old 05-21-2009, 10:14 AM   #27
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Thailand/Cambodia/Laos. It's all mixed up.
Oh yeah, I remember you telling me this before.
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Old 05-21-2009, 10:26 AM   #28
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Oh yeah, I remember you telling me this before.
Sam
And the SIL in question that threw the big wedding party is actually married to a VN guy. But he wasn't the driver of the gambling!
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Old 05-21-2009, 11:49 PM   #29
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You go Sarah!
Some of the Eastern European heritage type traditions that were / are common in Pittsburgh were nicely documented in the movie The Deer Hunter.
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I was just remembering our 1970s Pittsburgh tradition of the bride's father bringing a tray of loaded shot glasses out to the dance floor. For paying the father the price of a shot, the male guests were allowed a brief dance with the bride. It was a great way to offer personal congratulations & thanks.

My best friend's new father-in-law was able to handle two trays at once-- he said he'd been practicing.

Geez, that couple's been married for nearly 30 years... who are those geezers?
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Old 05-22-2009, 02:22 PM   #30
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I'm with Sarah all the way!

Not long ago I went to a bridal shower where every attendee was told to write her name and address on an envelope at her plate, supposedly so the bride-to-be would have correct addresses for the wedding invitations. I was shocked (shocked, I tell you!) to receive a few days later a pre-printed thank you card -- not even personally signed -- for my thoughtfully selected gift...in the envelope I addressed myself! Tacky, tacky!
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