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Old 10-12-2017, 07:49 PM   #21
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I have always written it to the one of the couple whom I know/am related to. I use maiden name for women. So far, no complaints. And they all cashed.
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Old 10-12-2017, 10:23 PM   #22
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We have never had one returned.

But we did catch a break in June. Nephew was getting married. DW decides to send them a cheque. I had a feeling that all was not well in lover's lane and suggested to DW that she wait until after the event. Two weeks prior they called it off.
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Old 10-13-2017, 03:11 AM   #23
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Even if you are attending I think a check would be better.... I heard that at one wedding this last summer the basket with all the gift cards was stolen so I think a check would be preferable.
yep.
Our son's "gift basket" for cards was stolen, at a CHURCH reception. Advise wedding "planners" to keep the gift area manned at all times.

The tragic thing is, my son and wife had no idea WHOSE wedding cards were stolen (along with gift cards, cash, etc.). So no way to send thank yous. I imagine there are people out there who think they are quite rude not to have thanked them.

At least with a check as a gift, it would never have been cashed and might tip off the giver to a theft.
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Old 10-13-2017, 07:39 AM   #24
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cash, (in a big box if you are worried about theft) next question.
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Old 10-13-2017, 08:32 AM   #25
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We also make the check out to the person who we know best (bride or groom). We use the brides maiden name, as it usually takes time for them to change their names anyway.

We stopped giving gift cards and cash a few years back. We were invited to a friend's daughter's wedding. It was a "destination" wedding and we were unable to attend. Additionally, they lived across the country, so it's not like we saw them much. Anywho - we sent a nice gift card and apologized for not being able to attend. Never heard a word back. No idea if they ever got it or not. I suppose I could have called my friend and asked her - but that felt extremely awkward too. So I did nothing....but since then, we ALWAYS give checks. With a check - its cashed - you know. If it's not cashed after a period of time, at least you have a reason to call......
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Old 10-13-2017, 09:07 AM   #26
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yep.
Our son's "gift basket" for cards was stolen, at a CHURCH reception. Advise wedding "planners" to keep the gift area manned at all times.

The tragic thing is, my son and wife had no idea WHOSE wedding cards were stolen (along with gift cards, cash, etc.). So no way to send thank yous. I imagine there are people out there who think they are quite rude not to have thanked them.

At least with a check as a gift, it would never have been cashed and might tip off the giver to a theft.
I would suggest that a simple "thank you" card would be sent to each couple/guest, saying "thank you for attending. Unfortunately, for those that graciously brought a card and placed it in the card box, the box was stolen during the reception, and we have no way of knowing who placed a card in the box."
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Old 10-13-2017, 10:11 AM   #27
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Generally we list both married names. Ie Mr and Mrs. Never been an issue. Never give cash for the obvious reason of security. Plus would be pretty bulky.
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Old 10-13-2017, 10:13 AM   #28
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I make it out to whichever partner I know better, and if it's to the bride, I use her maiden name. I'm afraid if I make it out to both, they may have an issue if they don't have a joint account.
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Old 10-13-2017, 11:03 AM   #29
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Hmmm I’m giving you money and you are worried about who the payees are on the check.. if you feel insulted please feel free to return it.
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Old 10-13-2017, 11:47 AM   #30
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Never give cash for the obvious reason of security. Plus would be pretty bulky.


I solved the bulk problem by going to bills instead of coins.
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Old 10-13-2017, 12:20 PM   #31
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Generally we list both married names. Ie Mr and Mrs. Never been an issue. Never give cash for the obvious reason of security. Plus would be pretty bulky.

I think we move in different circles!
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Old 10-13-2017, 12:26 PM   #32
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I would suggest that a simple "thank you" card would be sent to each couple/guest, saying "thank you for attending. Unfortunately, for those that graciously brought a card and placed it in the card box, the box was stolen during the reception, and we have no way of knowing who placed a card in the box."
Definitely—people who put checks in the card box will want to stop payment on them.

The last three wedding gifts we sent from the couples’ registries were royally screwed up, so we will only send checks from now on, ahead of time, made out to the spouse whose side of the church we would sit on—if the bride, using her maiden name as she would receive the check before being married.
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Old 10-13-2017, 01:07 PM   #33
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I solved the bulk problem by going to bills instead of coins.
Gee. Never thought of that.
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Old 10-13-2017, 01:36 PM   #34
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Gee. Never thought of that.


I know, not really that obvious.
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Old 10-15-2017, 06:18 PM   #35
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My nephew recently married in Oahu. We received an "E-Invite" from some website. It had a link to send a monitary gift. I fiddled with the site for about 15 minutes before realizing I was being compelled to join the website with my email address, user name, credit card info, etc. Needless to say, I sent them a check instead.
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Old 10-16-2017, 09:31 PM   #36
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We have a wedding coming up . I have sent several gifts to the bride -to -be ( Christmas, birthday , house warming ) and I have never received any thanks or even acknowledging the gift .I have briefly thought about giving a card for the wedding with a note enjoy our gift and include nothing just to see what would happen.
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Old 10-17-2017, 07:13 PM   #37
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Cash is king.

Who thinks newly weds care about whose name is on the cheque? As long as it is not a rubber everything is perfect.

Beats a toaster oven, questionable work of art, or any re-gifted item every day, all day long, hands down.

As any newly wed couple.
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Old 10-22-2017, 03:14 PM   #38
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Years ago, my sister returned a Christmas check from my grandmother (with her married name) with a note that she kept her maiden name and wanted the check reissued. My Mother, who was handling my GM's affairs, was sorely tempted to not reissue the check. This was a topic of conversation at dinner for a few days while my Mother stewed about it!
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Old 10-22-2017, 08:26 PM   #39
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Years ago, my sister returned a Christmas check from my grandmother (with her married name) with a note that she kept her maiden name and wanted the check reissued. My Mother, who was handling my GM's affairs, was sorely tempted to not reissue the check. This was a topic of conversation at dinner for a few days while my Mother stewed about it!
I would have returned the cheque too. Why should I accept a cheque made out to a person that is not me? If the grandmother chose to not reissue the cheque, I’m sure it would not cause a financial problem for the non-recipient. But being addressed by the wrong name is offensive. There is no reason to accept it.
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Old 10-22-2017, 09:21 PM   #40
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I would have returned the cheque too. Why should I accept a cheque made out to a person that is not me? If the grandmother chose to not reissue the cheque, I’m sure it would not cause a financial problem for the non-recipient. But being addressed by the wrong name is offensive. There is no reason to accept it.
I suppose the issue is how long had the couple been married at the time. Less than 6 months I would tend to say let it go, if the couple had sent thankyou notes for wedding gifts, how the notes were signed would provide information. Of course today how many bother.
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